scatman malm
sczombie.bsky.social
scatman malm
@sczombie.bsky.social
Pseudo-humor and word chaos.
Pinned
Moots apply below pls 🥰

📊 Algorithms
🗣️ Engagement trends
🪞 Meta commentary
💭 My progressive political echo chamber
💡 Scrolling in search of a purpose
🏋️‍♀️ Struggling to form authentic connections with others
👩‍⚖️ Being judged solely by what media properties I like
🐉 Magic: the Gathering

#promosky
Nobody is getting struck by lightning three times in their life anymore. Probably because kids don't play outside anymore!
December 17, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Every time someone at work mentions Disney (or another theme park), it's always gangbuster. Why?

My theory: Disney et. al. is corporatized creativity. It's fun expressed transactionally. It is imagination productized. It takes a piece of human nature and ascribes shareholder sentiment. (1/2)
December 17, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Dream blunt rotation:
Björk
Nathan Fielder
Snoop
David Lynch
Vsauce guy
December 12, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Heathcliff is to Linux as Garfield is to Windows
December 9, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Mayan Advent Calendar™️
December 5, 2025 at 3:41 AM
A Moss Landing treasure
November 28, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Alright it's time to come clean: I originally popularized the whole 67 thing
November 11, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Hatsune Miku? You mean Crazy Frog's girlfriend?
October 24, 2025 at 4:54 AM
I'm what's known 'round here as a cookie collector. I surf the worldwide web collecting cookies of all kinds. I've got session cookies, persistent cookies, analytics cookies, and of course first-party and third-party cookies. When I accidentally cleared my cache in 2023 I almost k*lled myself.
September 19, 2025 at 7:34 PM
September 19, 2025 at 7:26 PM
September 17, 2025 at 4:27 AM
There is no need to reinvent the wheel. However, the hubcap has been reinvented no fewer than four times. So you can obviously still make bank on this idea.
September 15, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Save the Rainforest

Café, but also save the actual Rainforest.
September 15, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm getting served a lot of fetish skeets all of a sudden 😳

Not sure what signals I gave off that I want adult baby content but I take them all back.
September 8, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Reposted by scatman malm
I am a hypermasculine and extremely powerful alpha male. As such my greatest fears are seed oils, rainbows, people who don't look like me being on TV, and preventative medicine. I cannot explain any of these fears and consider that to be your fault.
September 5, 2025 at 1:32 PM
An accord has been struck
September 4, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Sharks, today I have for you TRANSITIONAL CONTACT LENSES
August 31, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Opened the Moxfield Explore Decks tab and what even is this
August 27, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Wtf RIP Gothic King Cobra. He followed Ozzy into the light 😳
August 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
I'm not one of those spiritual ravers. I'm a functional materialist raver.
August 19, 2025 at 5:33 AM
I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so when I first heard "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors, I began to worry that I too was becoming Japanese.
July 30, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Do you ever just see someone and instantly clock that they are a wrestling enthusiast
July 15, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Domo Arigato, Mr. Robitussin
July 13, 2025 at 1:34 AM
came up with a new product today. Front Diaper. It's only for piss. Tomorrow I unveil my next invention: nicotine toothpaste.
July 9, 2025 at 6:27 AM
Throwin ass to The Cranberries
June 22, 2025 at 6:20 AM