Scott Walldren
@scottwalldren.bsky.social
Marketer by day, artist by night, creative always. Balancing SEO strategies and snack breaks like a pro. Fueling businesses with data-driven insights and family debates with dad jokes. Part strategist, part wordsmith, full-time fan of efficiency and humor.
“Heyyy 😊”
You know the text.
Too many y’s. Too few check-ins.
They don’t want to reconnect—they want help moving a couch.
You’re not tech support with a pulse.
Protect your energy.
Real friendship is presence, not favors.
#Boundaries #EnergyMgmt
You know the text.
Too many y’s. Too few check-ins.
They don’t want to reconnect—they want help moving a couch.
You’re not tech support with a pulse.
Protect your energy.
Real friendship is presence, not favors.
#Boundaries #EnergyMgmt
April 7, 2025 at 5:26 PM
“Heyyy 😊”
You know the text.
Too many y’s. Too few check-ins.
They don’t want to reconnect—they want help moving a couch.
You’re not tech support with a pulse.
Protect your energy.
Real friendship is presence, not favors.
#Boundaries #EnergyMgmt
You know the text.
Too many y’s. Too few check-ins.
They don’t want to reconnect—they want help moving a couch.
You’re not tech support with a pulse.
Protect your energy.
Real friendship is presence, not favors.
#Boundaries #EnergyMgmt
A booth appeared in the plaza.
People lined up.
Pushed the button.
Felt “liberated.”
Five years later, the town’s gone, but they still wear the shirts.
“Remember the booth?” they say. “That was when things were good.”
New story: The Button Booth
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
People lined up.
Pushed the button.
Felt “liberated.”
Five years later, the town’s gone, but they still wear the shirts.
“Remember the booth?” they say. “That was when things were good.”
New story: The Button Booth
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
The Button Booth
One morning, in the overgrown plaza behind the old OfficeMax, a booth appeared. No one had seen it arrive. It looked like a photo kiosk…
medium.com
April 5, 2025 at 5:26 PM
A booth appeared in the plaza.
People lined up.
Pushed the button.
Felt “liberated.”
Five years later, the town’s gone, but they still wear the shirts.
“Remember the booth?” they say. “That was when things were good.”
New story: The Button Booth
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
People lined up.
Pushed the button.
Felt “liberated.”
Five years later, the town’s gone, but they still wear the shirts.
“Remember the booth?” they say. “That was when things were good.”
New story: The Button Booth
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
RFK Jr. said 20% of federal health layoffs under his plan would be “mistakes”—planned ones.
Fire first, patch later.
Imagine unplugging life support, then shrugging when it fails.
That turned into this short story:
Tech Support for the Recently Deceased.
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
Fire first, patch later.
Imagine unplugging life support, then shrugging when it fails.
That turned into this short story:
Tech Support for the Recently Deceased.
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
Tech Support for the Recently Deceased
After the National Health Optimization Initiative rolled out, death got cleaner. Neater. Less screaming, more toggles. Every critical care…
medium.com
April 5, 2025 at 5:24 PM
RFK Jr. said 20% of federal health layoffs under his plan would be “mistakes”—planned ones.
Fire first, patch later.
Imagine unplugging life support, then shrugging when it fails.
That turned into this short story:
Tech Support for the Recently Deceased.
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
Fire first, patch later.
Imagine unplugging life support, then shrugging when it fails.
That turned into this short story:
Tech Support for the Recently Deceased.
medium.com/@scottwalldr...
Let me know if you need anything” sounds kind, but often means nothing. Real help is specific, inconvenient, and never starts with a vague text. If someone’s drowning, don’t hand them a phone. Jump in or shut up. #LifeAdvice
Link: medium.com/letters-to-m...
Link: medium.com/letters-to-m...
March 31, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Let me know if you need anything” sounds kind, but often means nothing. Real help is specific, inconvenient, and never starts with a vague text. If someone’s drowning, don’t hand them a phone. Jump in or shut up. #LifeAdvice
Link: medium.com/letters-to-m...
Link: medium.com/letters-to-m...
Every group project has that person: the ghost, the echo, the “I work best under pressure” guy. Turns out, adulthood is just school group projects with worse snacks and higher stakes.
The trick? Don’t become them.
#LettersToMyKids #GroupDynamics #WorkLife
The trick? Don’t become them.
#LettersToMyKids #GroupDynamics #WorkLife
March 25, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Every group project has that person: the ghost, the echo, the “I work best under pressure” guy. Turns out, adulthood is just school group projects with worse snacks and higher stakes.
The trick? Don’t become them.
#LettersToMyKids #GroupDynamics #WorkLife
The trick? Don’t become them.
#LettersToMyKids #GroupDynamics #WorkLife
Sarcasm: A family heirloom, passed down like an old pocket watch—except instead of telling time, it tells people exactly how ridiculous something is. The #Irish perfected it, I inherited it, and now my kids use it against me. Full circle. 🍀
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#StPatricksDay
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#StPatricksDay
Why Sarcasm Is Sooooo Effective (Except When It Isn’t)
Written after realizing that, thanks to me, you are now fluent in sarcasm — and using it against me.
medium.com
March 17, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Sarcasm: A family heirloom, passed down like an old pocket watch—except instead of telling time, it tells people exactly how ridiculous something is. The #Irish perfected it, I inherited it, and now my kids use it against me. Full circle. 🍀
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#StPatricksDay
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#StPatricksDay
Learning anything new feels terrible at first. The first day? Pure excitement. You’re convinced you’re a natural. The second day? Reality punches you in the face. You realize you suck. Hard. Most people quit here. Not because they can’t learn—because they forgot that before you’re good, you’re bad.
How to Learn Anything Fast (Without Feeling Like an Idiot)
Written after trying to learn a new skill, failing immediately, and almost quitting because I forgot that sucking at things is the first…
medium.com
March 15, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Learning anything new feels terrible at first. The first day? Pure excitement. You’re convinced you’re a natural. The second day? Reality punches you in the face. You realize you suck. Hard. Most people quit here. Not because they can’t learn—because they forgot that before you’re good, you’re bad.
Remember when boredom wasn’t a crisis? We used to just sit, think, daydream. Now, the second silence creeps in, we panic-scroll. But boredom isn’t the enemy—it’s the spark. Let your mind wander. Who knows? You might actually have a thought that wasn’t fed to you by an algorithm. #boredomisgood
The Lost Art of Being Bored
Written while staring at a wall, resisting the urge to check my phone, and remembering when boredom wasn’t a crisis, just part of being…
medium.com
March 11, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Remember when boredom wasn’t a crisis? We used to just sit, think, daydream. Now, the second silence creeps in, we panic-scroll. But boredom isn’t the enemy—it’s the spark. Let your mind wander. Who knows? You might actually have a thought that wasn’t fed to you by an algorithm. #boredomisgood
I've been thinking a lot about the patterns in my photography, even when I’m not looking for them. It’s less about things and more about the feeling of a moment—the texture of time, light, and memory. If you like blurry strange reflections and abstract beauty, follow @crisisinsoftfocus.bsky.social
March 8, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I've been thinking a lot about the patterns in my photography, even when I’m not looking for them. It’s less about things and more about the feeling of a moment—the texture of time, light, and memory. If you like blurry strange reflections and abstract beauty, follow @crisisinsoftfocus.bsky.social
As part of my Letters to My Kids project, I wrote about gas prices mysteriously rising on weekends. Spoiler: it's not random—stations know what they're doing. 🚗⛽ Do you time your fill-ups, use an app, or just sigh and swipe? Drop your best gas-saving hacks! #GasPrices
medium.com/letters-to-m...
medium.com/letters-to-m...
March 8, 2025 at 3:46 PM
As part of my Letters to My Kids project, I wrote about gas prices mysteriously rising on weekends. Spoiler: it's not random—stations know what they're doing. 🚗⛽ Do you time your fill-ups, use an app, or just sigh and swipe? Drop your best gas-saving hacks! #GasPrices
medium.com/letters-to-m...
medium.com/letters-to-m...
Living in HD while the world buffers. Some see patterns before others even realize there’s a picture. If you’ve ever been told “you overthink things,” this one’s for you.
📝 Read here: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Overthinking
📝 Read here: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Overthinking
March 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Living in HD while the world buffers. Some see patterns before others even realize there’s a picture. If you’ve ever been told “you overthink things,” this one’s for you.
📝 Read here: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Overthinking
📝 Read here: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Overthinking
Elon Musk dresses like a teen who just discovered Reddit. Bryan Johnson eats toddler mush to dodge death. Billionaires fear aging because it means losing power. But aging isn’t a bug—it’s the point. Trying to hack mortality just drains life of meaning.
medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Aging
medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Aging
Live Forever, Dress Like a 14-Year-Old: The Tech Bro Anti-Aging Obsession
Written after watching a billionaire explain his anti-aging routine while dressed like a 14-year-old who just raided a PacSun clearance…
medium.com
February 27, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Elon Musk dresses like a teen who just discovered Reddit. Bryan Johnson eats toddler mush to dodge death. Billionaires fear aging because it means losing power. But aging isn’t a bug—it’s the point. Trying to hack mortality just drains life of meaning.
medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Aging
medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Aging
Doomscrolling? Overwhelmed? Same.
💡 How to stay sane in a broken world:
Why your brain wasn’t built for this much chaos
HALT: A 4-step trick to stop spiraling
🔗 medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Doomscrolling #MentalHealth #LettersToMyKids
💡 How to stay sane in a broken world:
Why your brain wasn’t built for this much chaos
HALT: A 4-step trick to stop spiraling
🔗 medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Doomscrolling #MentalHealth #LettersToMyKids
February 25, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Doomscrolling? Overwhelmed? Same.
💡 How to stay sane in a broken world:
Why your brain wasn’t built for this much chaos
HALT: A 4-step trick to stop spiraling
🔗 medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Doomscrolling #MentalHealth #LettersToMyKids
💡 How to stay sane in a broken world:
Why your brain wasn’t built for this much chaos
HALT: A 4-step trick to stop spiraling
🔗 medium.com/letters-to-m...
#Doomscrolling #MentalHealth #LettersToMyKids
Ever feel like the internet is manipulating your emotions? 🤔 I quit X and felt 30% less angry. Discover how bot farms are engineering online outrage and learn to spot fake accounts.
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#InternetCulture #DigitalWellness
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#InternetCulture #DigitalWellness
The Internet is Lying to You (And It’s Not Even Trying Very Hard)
Written after I quit X and immediately felt 30% less angry but still deeply concerned about the degradation of democracy.
medium.com
February 21, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Ever feel like the internet is manipulating your emotions? 🤔 I quit X and felt 30% less angry. Discover how bot farms are engineering online outrage and learn to spot fake accounts.
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#InternetCulture #DigitalWellness
Read more: medium.com/letters-to-m...
#InternetCulture #DigitalWellness
I’m a dad of three, writing letters about life—big things made light, real things made funny. Mostly for my kids, but you’re invited too.
The first? How to Know When You’re an Adult. Spoiler: No one knows.
Give it a read, let me know when adulthood hit you. ⬇️
medium.com/letters-to-m...
The first? How to Know When You’re an Adult. Spoiler: No one knows.
Give it a read, let me know when adulthood hit you. ⬇️
medium.com/letters-to-m...
How to Know When You’re an Adult
Written at 11 PM after a long day at work, driving one of you to and from activities, and watching the world burn down in the headlines.
medium.com
February 20, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I’m a dad of three, writing letters about life—big things made light, real things made funny. Mostly for my kids, but you’re invited too.
The first? How to Know When You’re an Adult. Spoiler: No one knows.
Give it a read, let me know when adulthood hit you. ⬇️
medium.com/letters-to-m...
The first? How to Know When You’re an Adult. Spoiler: No one knows.
Give it a read, let me know when adulthood hit you. ⬇️
medium.com/letters-to-m...
Chilly weather for a morning walk.
February 19, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Chilly weather for a morning walk.
Still life photo of the Spin Cycle.
February 17, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Still life photo of the Spin Cycle.
SEO: the only art form where we sculpt for an audience of one… and that one is a robot. Google is Not a User is from my chapbook The Art of Being Indexed—because if we're all just optimizing for an algorithmic god, we might as well write hymns. #SEOetry #LinkedInPoetLaureate #MarketingPoetry
January 30, 2025 at 2:59 PM
SEO: the only art form where we sculpt for an audience of one… and that one is a robot. Google is Not a User is from my chapbook The Art of Being Indexed—because if we're all just optimizing for an algorithmic god, we might as well write hymns. #SEOetry #LinkedInPoetLaureate #MarketingPoetry
Dad would’ve been 91 today. He fell asleep in theaters the moment the lights dimmed. During Independence Day, he started snoring just as the aliens blew up the White House. Now, at 45—the age he was when I was born—I think about what he’d say, what I’d do differently. Happy birthday, Dad.
January 29, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Dad would’ve been 91 today. He fell asleep in theaters the moment the lights dimmed. During Independence Day, he started snoring just as the aliens blew up the White House. Now, at 45—the age he was when I was born—I think about what he’d say, what I’d do differently. Happy birthday, Dad.
At Steak 'n Shake, I saw a napkin: 'Born on Route 66 in 1934.' My dad, Allan, was born that same year. We shared so many diner meals together. A sweet reminder of him in his birthday month. Missing you, Dad. ❤️ #Route66
January 5, 2025 at 10:47 PM
At Steak 'n Shake, I saw a napkin: 'Born on Route 66 in 1934.' My dad, Allan, was born that same year. We shared so many diner meals together. A sweet reminder of him in his birthday month. Missing you, Dad. ❤️ #Route66
Before diving headfirst into 2025’s trends, take a moment to reflect:
✔️ Are your efforts aligned with your goals?
✔️ Are your results measurable and meaningful?
✔️ Do your metrics matter?
Let’s make this the year of intentional marketing, not just trendy experiments.
#business #marketing #poetry
✔️ Are your efforts aligned with your goals?
✔️ Are your results measurable and meaningful?
✔️ Do your metrics matter?
Let’s make this the year of intentional marketing, not just trendy experiments.
#business #marketing #poetry
January 3, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Before diving headfirst into 2025’s trends, take a moment to reflect:
✔️ Are your efforts aligned with your goals?
✔️ Are your results measurable and meaningful?
✔️ Do your metrics matter?
Let’s make this the year of intentional marketing, not just trendy experiments.
#business #marketing #poetry
✔️ Are your efforts aligned with your goals?
✔️ Are your results measurable and meaningful?
✔️ Do your metrics matter?
Let’s make this the year of intentional marketing, not just trendy experiments.
#business #marketing #poetry
Confidence can sell almost anything, even when the substance isn’t there. “Confidence Men & Women” is a poem reflecting on a moment when style overshadowed data, and promises fell flat. In 2025, let’s prioritize transparency and results over showmanship.
#business #marketing #poetry
#business #marketing #poetry
January 3, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Confidence can sell almost anything, even when the substance isn’t there. “Confidence Men & Women” is a poem reflecting on a moment when style overshadowed data, and promises fell flat. In 2025, let’s prioritize transparency and results over showmanship.
#business #marketing #poetry
#business #marketing #poetry