Scott Agnew
@scottagnew.bsky.social
Scottish, Glaswegian, Comedian, ex-journalist, Gay, HIV+ (U=U). Back from the dead three times.
Listen to my BBC R4 series here:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0021p0h?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile
Listen to my BBC R4 series here:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0021p0h?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile
"One billion dollars!!!"
November 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
"One billion dollars!!!"
Celebrity Traitors is what I imagine a weekend at JK Rowling's mouldy house must be like while she figures out who's not been cunty enough to a trans person in the last six months.
October 10, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Celebrity Traitors is what I imagine a weekend at JK Rowling's mouldy house must be like while she figures out who's not been cunty enough to a trans person in the last six months.
At what stage of the menopause am I at when the waft of a McDonald's chicken nugget took me straight to 1991 and unlocked all the lyrics to Beverley Craven's "Promise Me" and now I'm sitting greeting and sooking on a mint Aero?
October 8, 2025 at 7:02 PM
At what stage of the menopause am I at when the waft of a McDonald's chicken nugget took me straight to 1991 and unlocked all the lyrics to Beverley Craven's "Promise Me" and now I'm sitting greeting and sooking on a mint Aero?
"Francis - get the door!"
May 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
"Francis - get the door!"
Watching the Pope lying in state to get a swatch at the Italian men going by. "Ciao gallina!"
April 24, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Watching the Pope lying in state to get a swatch at the Italian men going by. "Ciao gallina!"
Can anyone tell me the reason behind this trend on telly drama for the main protagonist driving a wildly out of date motor vehicle? The boxy Volvo estate of the 70s and 80s seems to pop up a lot, for example Black Mirror and Fear. But it seems to be there's an epidemic of auld motors on the telly.
April 24, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Can anyone tell me the reason behind this trend on telly drama for the main protagonist driving a wildly out of date motor vehicle? The boxy Volvo estate of the 70s and 80s seems to pop up a lot, for example Black Mirror and Fear. But it seems to be there's an epidemic of auld motors on the telly.
This country's demented - literally wandering about with our arse hanging oot our troosers and holes in our stocking soles but here's yer King playing a carrot flute with his big sausage digits.
April 4, 2025 at 12:40 PM
This country's demented - literally wandering about with our arse hanging oot our troosers and holes in our stocking soles but here's yer King playing a carrot flute with his big sausage digits.
Listen live at 1.30pm on BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking The News as myself and top teammate Athena Kugblenu as we take on Ashley Storrie and Sam Lake - with the glorious Des Clarke in the chair as always. You can listen again later on BBC Sounds or again at 11.30am in Radio Scotland.
April 4, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Listen live at 1.30pm on BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking The News as myself and top teammate Athena Kugblenu as we take on Ashley Storrie and Sam Lake - with the glorious Des Clarke in the chair as always. You can listen again later on BBC Sounds or again at 11.30am in Radio Scotland.
Am I supposed to know who these people are or has the Record just suddenly started reporting on randoms and what they've heard about them?
Tomorrow's exclusive : "Sheila McNamee has been branded "a bit heavy for they leggings" by neighbours two up that saw her in the Post Office."
Tomorrow's exclusive : "Sheila McNamee has been branded "a bit heavy for they leggings" by neighbours two up that saw her in the Post Office."
March 20, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Am I supposed to know who these people are or has the Record just suddenly started reporting on randoms and what they've heard about them?
Tomorrow's exclusive : "Sheila McNamee has been branded "a bit heavy for they leggings" by neighbours two up that saw her in the Post Office."
Tomorrow's exclusive : "Sheila McNamee has been branded "a bit heavy for they leggings" by neighbours two up that saw her in the Post Office."
Derby Day in Glasgow often gets a bad reputation - but we do need to remember the numerous miracles that occur when Celtic and Rangers play.
March 16, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Derby Day in Glasgow often gets a bad reputation - but we do need to remember the numerous miracles that occur when Celtic and Rangers play.
Cheers to Channel 4, Crufts and Dr Paul for ruining my Sunday roast by explaining in great detail how to express a Cockapoo's anal glands.
Bon Appetit!
Bon Appetit!
March 9, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Cheers to Channel 4, Crufts and Dr Paul for ruining my Sunday roast by explaining in great detail how to express a Cockapoo's anal glands.
Bon Appetit!
Bon Appetit!
Perception Vs Reality
March 5, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Perception Vs Reality
As the world teeters on the brink Glasgow wrestlers with the possibility its leaders might have been corrupted by money from Big Biscuit.
February 28, 2025 at 10:18 PM
As the world teeters on the brink Glasgow wrestlers with the possibility its leaders might have been corrupted by money from Big Biscuit.
Zelensky should have taken his pen and shanked those two Putin proxy pricks Joe Pesci style.
February 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Zelensky should have taken his pen and shanked those two Putin proxy pricks Joe Pesci style.
Next month I shall be touring Scotland on The Big Comedy Roadshow visiting the Highlands, Islands, the central belt and capital featuring myself and an incredible cast of comics - my pal Jay Lafferty, Laura Lexx, Sara Barron and Jen Brister! Tix available from the website on the poster attached!
February 20, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Next month I shall be touring Scotland on The Big Comedy Roadshow visiting the Highlands, Islands, the central belt and capital featuring myself and an incredible cast of comics - my pal Jay Lafferty, Laura Lexx, Sara Barron and Jen Brister! Tix available from the website on the poster attached!
Happy Valentine's Day to all my fellow singletons...
February 14, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Happy Valentine's Day to all my fellow singletons...
With love from me
February 14, 2025 at 5:48 PM
With love from me
An orgy is it mate? In your Ford Focus? Right ye are. The most VL private reggie plate ever.
February 3, 2025 at 12:38 PM
An orgy is it mate? In your Ford Focus? Right ye are. The most VL private reggie plate ever.
My dearest bawhums and bawhumettes - it's finally February - we are but a month and a bawhair away from the Glasgow International Comedy Festival. It'd be lovely to see you at my show at Blackfriars, March 27th. Tickets here: search.app/KB7znDFt3tAA...
February 2, 2025 at 12:06 PM
My dearest bawhums and bawhumettes - it's finally February - we are but a month and a bawhair away from the Glasgow International Comedy Festival. It'd be lovely to see you at my show at Blackfriars, March 27th. Tickets here: search.app/KB7znDFt3tAA...
Where did this Gnome beard look suddenly appear from? Spotted about four or five fellas sporting it the past couple of days. I've been trying to think if some celeb has suddenly made it in vogue but can only come up with the Fast Show's Bob Fleming and his Country Matters boys.
January 23, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Where did this Gnome beard look suddenly appear from? Spotted about four or five fellas sporting it the past couple of days. I've been trying to think if some celeb has suddenly made it in vogue but can only come up with the Fast Show's Bob Fleming and his Country Matters boys.
I know times are hard - but I didn't think it was pawning your Gladiator's helmet hard.
January 22, 2025 at 3:34 PM
I know times are hard - but I didn't think it was pawning your Gladiator's helmet hard.
If you're denying Musk's two Nazi salutes please take it in context with the black MAGA hat he wore to his first Trump rally featuring the Blackletter font - beloved of Nazi propaganda posters and featured on the front cover of Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. He's trying to signal something to someone.
January 21, 2025 at 11:45 AM
If you're denying Musk's two Nazi salutes please take it in context with the black MAGA hat he wore to his first Trump rally featuring the Blackletter font - beloved of Nazi propaganda posters and featured on the front cover of Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. He's trying to signal something to someone.
Any decent lawyer would surely pull out the pic of him wearing the black MAGA hat with the Blackletter font - lovingly known as the Hitler font as it was on most Nazi propaganda including on the cover of Mein Kampf. It would suggest Mr Musk is trying to communicate some message to the outside world.
January 21, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Any decent lawyer would surely pull out the pic of him wearing the black MAGA hat with the Blackletter font - lovingly known as the Hitler font as it was on most Nazi propaganda including on the cover of Mein Kampf. It would suggest Mr Musk is trying to communicate some message to the outside world.
If it walks and talks and salutes like a duck - it's a goose stepping Nazi.
January 20, 2025 at 8:06 PM
If it walks and talks and salutes like a duck - it's a goose stepping Nazi.