Greg Schwender
@schwender.bsky.social
baltimore | can’t adjust, high risk
I’d be gutted if my son stabbed me
December 15, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I’d be gutted if my son stabbed me
Pete AlonsO. I don’t know what to do with my hands
December 10, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Pete AlonsO. I don’t know what to do with my hands
Not Baltimore Millennials naming their daughters McKeldin
December 3, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Not Baltimore Millennials naming their daughters McKeldin
If the Orioles non-tender Mountcastle, we are kicking off the longest offseason ever. I’m already exhausted
November 20, 2025 at 11:36 PM
If the Orioles non-tender Mountcastle, we are kicking off the longest offseason ever. I’m already exhausted
FWIW Grayson Rodriguez’s #1 comp through age 24 on baseball reference is Dylan Bundy, and well
November 20, 2025 at 3:26 PM
FWIW Grayson Rodriguez’s #1 comp through age 24 on baseball reference is Dylan Bundy, and well
Orioles fans then: “Lego is a such a fun offseason hobby for baseball players!” 😃
Orioles fans now: “Batting cages are a fun offseason hobby for baseball players”
Orioles fans now: “Batting cages are a fun offseason hobby for baseball players”
November 20, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Orioles fans then: “Lego is a such a fun offseason hobby for baseball players!” 😃
Orioles fans now: “Batting cages are a fun offseason hobby for baseball players”
Orioles fans now: “Batting cages are a fun offseason hobby for baseball players”
Currently pondering life’s great mysteries, such as “is there a God?”, “what happens when I die?”, and “am I bad at fantasy football or just unlucky?”
November 18, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Currently pondering life’s great mysteries, such as “is there a God?”, “what happens when I die?”, and “am I bad at fantasy football or just unlucky?”
K-Pop Demon Hunters is a modern retelling of the Chipettes
November 16, 2025 at 1:05 PM
K-Pop Demon Hunters is a modern retelling of the Chipettes
I don’t know if this is controversial or not but Subway should fall into the slopbowl restaurant category
November 15, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I don’t know if this is controversial or not but Subway should fall into the slopbowl restaurant category
The Charli XCX / Wuthering Heights thing is exactly what Trent Reznor did with Lost Highway, right down to the music video, just thirty years later
November 13, 2025 at 5:25 PM
The Charli XCX / Wuthering Heights thing is exactly what Trent Reznor did with Lost Highway, right down to the music video, just thirty years later
I can’t believe the jeans ad was in fact racist this entire time. What a twist
November 13, 2025 at 1:28 AM
I can’t believe the jeans ad was in fact racist this entire time. What a twist
I thought the missing 2020 minor league season counted towards a minor leaguers accruals for free agency, but observing now that it does not. Though I’m at a loss for why Orioles’ Logan Rinehart is a free agent, but Gerald Ogando is not.
November 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I thought the missing 2020 minor league season counted towards a minor leaguers accruals for free agency, but observing now that it does not. Though I’m at a loss for why Orioles’ Logan Rinehart is a free agent, but Gerald Ogando is not.
Live look in at the exododus
elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire
ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire
media.tenor.com
November 4, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Live look in at the exododus
Emotional maturity is responding kindly to an email asking for a status update
November 4, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Emotional maturity is responding kindly to an email asking for a status update
I know he didn’t say midget football on TV in 2025
November 2, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I know he didn’t say midget football on TV in 2025
Turns out the Orioles declined to pay Jeff Hoffman, not because of medicals, but because he was a choke artist and professional dillweed
November 2, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Turns out the Orioles declined to pay Jeff Hoffman, not because of medicals, but because he was a choke artist and professional dillweed
My only complaint about last nights football game is that the Ravens didn’t score more points. I feel like they failed in that regard
October 31, 2025 at 10:49 AM
My only complaint about last nights football game is that the Ravens didn’t score more points. I feel like they failed in that regard
“Orioles Looking For Impact Hitter” well it’s a good thing they haven’t spent the last several years flailing around collecting high draft picks to spend on impact hitters, who have all graduated their rookie status only to turn in a bottom-ten team offensive performance in 2025
October 21, 2025 at 1:14 PM
“Orioles Looking For Impact Hitter” well it’s a good thing they haven’t spent the last several years flailing around collecting high draft picks to spend on impact hitters, who have all graduated their rookie status only to turn in a bottom-ten team offensive performance in 2025
re: Jeff Hoffman
The O’s didn’t duck out of a bad situation with JH, he ducked out of a bad situation with the O’s. And even if he sucks with the Jays for the rest of his humongous contract, there’s always the World Series. And I hate that
The O’s didn’t duck out of a bad situation with JH, he ducked out of a bad situation with the O’s. And even if he sucks with the Jays for the rest of his humongous contract, there’s always the World Series. And I hate that
October 21, 2025 at 12:19 PM
re: Jeff Hoffman
The O’s didn’t duck out of a bad situation with JH, he ducked out of a bad situation with the O’s. And even if he sucks with the Jays for the rest of his humongous contract, there’s always the World Series. And I hate that
The O’s didn’t duck out of a bad situation with JH, he ducked out of a bad situation with the O’s. And even if he sucks with the Jays for the rest of his humongous contract, there’s always the World Series. And I hate that
This is a very “you should’ve done it over five years ago” post, but I’m finally going to shop around to get away from Spotify. They had me a stranglehold
October 19, 2025 at 11:40 PM
This is a very “you should’ve done it over five years ago” post, but I’m finally going to shop around to get away from Spotify. They had me a stranglehold
Commending Steve Cohen for donating $1.3M to NYC teachers feels lot like throwing a pizza party because my son took his plate to the sink
October 19, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Commending Steve Cohen for donating $1.3M to NYC teachers feels lot like throwing a pizza party because my son took his plate to the sink
Dodgers fans get the postseason game of all-time, from the greatest player of all time, and are about to see their first ballot hall of famer pitch in his final game in the World Series,
and my team is enjoying Cancun for the 42nd year in a row
and my team is enjoying Cancun for the 42nd year in a row
October 18, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Dodgers fans get the postseason game of all-time, from the greatest player of all time, and are about to see their first ballot hall of famer pitch in his final game in the World Series,
and my team is enjoying Cancun for the 42nd year in a row
and my team is enjoying Cancun for the 42nd year in a row
Albert Pujols as manager of the Orioles is maybe one of my life’s greatest plot twists
October 15, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Albert Pujols as manager of the Orioles is maybe one of my life’s greatest plot twists
“Derrick Henry, player directly responsible for dropping the football leading to two losses, Rips Ravens' Goal-Line Failures After Loss to Rams”
October 12, 2025 at 8:58 PM
“Derrick Henry, player directly responsible for dropping the football leading to two losses, Rips Ravens' Goal-Line Failures After Loss to Rams”