I’m not doing it. Because I’ve put in the work. HE has to admit he will not/cannot/refuses to put in the work on his side.

The only reason I might have to is to protect myself financially. Which is the last thing I want.

This sucks.

It always ended in “THIS IS YOUR FAULT, you did those things, you made me the way I am.” So back into my hole.

At 46, I can’t do that to myself anymore. I can’t let him keep doing that to me.

If it unforgivable, then file the papers. Just end the misery for both of us.

BUT >>>>>

With a ribbon tied around my neck versus living in a home where I was made to feel less than human, not worth any love or grace, and on edge to make any slip up just to be reminded of how I (alone) fucked everything up. Even if that slip up was to say “I need your help in this”.

But I didn’t get to pick my high risk bipolar actions, and of course it just so happened to be the one thing he “doesn’t know if he can ever forgive or forget”.

Just my fucking luck, I guess.

I also told him I had started missing waking up dreaming of taking a leap from a bridge>>>>>>>

On top of that. And enough is enough. Because I could keep living that life, but he can’t say he’ll do work on his part to move past punishing me.

I told him if I’d had my choice, I have gambled away our house and cars and savings and retirements and ended us up on the street. >>>>

If he can’t move past it, that’s no longer on me. There’s nothing else I can do. But I deserve a nice life. I don’t deserve to be a whipping boy anymore. The meds, therapy, hospitals, treatments were bad enough, but the I self flagellated and the husband pinned me in an emotional corner>>>>>

And I had to stop, after 15 years, punishing myself, allowing him to punish me, and living miserable because of shit I did, then did the hard, long, dirty, devastating work to get myself out of those bad things.
>>>>>>>

A lot of what American Christianity had taught me. Which spotlighted how manipulative and/or ignorant people in the church were Thus began my separation (and freedom) from religion. It took about 20 years to be clear of it.

Good job- to both of you.

Some of us put it all out there- scorched earth w/MAGA friends/family, donating to Madam VIP/phone banks/post cards, but it doesn’t matter. We get to sit w/the blame. It is what it is.
All I know to do now is make sure non-voters stay abreast of what’s happening & why it was a mistake to sit it out.

Jessica Rabbit AND Bugs Bunny??? Who’s next, Thumper- wouldn’t be surprised with that POS.

How much work did you do to get Harris elected, besides just voting? How many MAGA friends & family did you walk away from? Black ppl not only showed up to vote but they put in the blood, sweat, & tears. Are you giving the same smoke to every white politician out there not doing enough to stop this?

My kid just started his FAFSA. I don’t know what kinda white we are. It was never important to me to find out, because I’m 99% sure there were some nasty Confederacy shenanigans in this family tree.
I guess he’ll just check “other” 🙄

Support people who are losing their livelihoods and families, I’m going to work hard to make up for my mistake.”

It is abhorrent that people are still not accepting and sorry for fucking this up. Our nation is going down in flames. And we tried to warn you.

And you’re still sitting here saying “she should have changed her stance on this” “they should have messaged differently” “ the party doesn’t know how to reach XYZ” when you should be saying:
“You were right. I was wrong. I’m going to dig in, make calls, attend protests, stand up>>>>>>