It’s not his house. It’s your house. And he’s destroying it.

Has anyone tried making quiet fireworks?

Asking for my dog.

A new study shows that music therapy is as effective as cognitive behavioral therapy at helping cancer patients and survivors heal emotionally.

“I asked ChatGPT-“

okay well I asked the soft animal of my body what it loves and it said mostly laying on the ground and doing nothing

Oh no, I don’t work here. I’m just putting these shirts that were in the wrong section where they belong so that I can sleep tonight. #anxiety

Please don’t honk at me: I’m hanging on by a thread and have already cried for much less today. Thank you.

Called my congressman who voted for the SAVE act.

Me: What documents will I need to vote if this passes?
Staffer: a DL and birth certificate.
Me: The documents don’t match
Staffer: Then a marriage certificate.
Me: Will my husband need the marriage certificate too?
Staffer: No
Me: See the problem?

“she’s never done anything for me” you say as I post Kermit channeling David Byrne and prove you wrong