Boops

It always is with you 🥵

Thankyouuuuu

I wish I knew.

LMAO, so this happened.

Whisper into the void, and then wait for it to hopefully whisper back.

gorggggggg

Yeah, a bit. Still taking it easy and keeping things chill.

Stop the clock.

Much to change fundamentally. We are still on opposite sides of the continent and in different countries to boot, which was a factor in my thinking that it was best to try not to get attached in that way.

That caution is still there, especially given how close we've been.

Yeah.... So.... C called me out. Said she was confused because apparently, I've been flirtatious on her posts, despite my protestations of being focused on friendship.

So, we talked. There's mutual crushing happening, which is news to me. I'm still feeling a bit shocked.

I don't expect

I barely know her, outside of meeting here and there through various functions, but we yapped like old friends. I was surprised by the vibe. It occurred to me later that the evening felt something like a date, although it was anything but.

It was just a good time. I have no interest in her,

How cruel it is that the one thing that I desire above all is the one thing that cannot be fixed.

Meanwhile, I never self inserted into fantasy. It felt like dirtying something perfect.

And I feel like that about myself in life. That my involvement would only tarnish things, because I'm not good enough. Not woman enough.

I wish I did not care. I wish it wasn't so deeply engrained in me.

A trans woman, I cannot overcome the feeling that it's lesser, not on the same level of womanhood as being female.

But I always felt something akin to that.

There's far too many men that would look at a wlw relationship and think that it could only be improved by their participation in it.