Sheena
@sarky-sheena.bsky.social
Clumsy, underachiever, occasional drunk, goes to pets at home for a cheap day out.
Can Colour in between the lines & Illustrates for @thelifeofsharks.com
Can Colour in between the lines & Illustrates for @thelifeofsharks.com
I spontaneously just done the
can-can around the house and to be honest, I didn’t realise I had those moves in me.
can-can around the house and to be honest, I didn’t realise I had those moves in me.
December 1, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I spontaneously just done the
can-can around the house and to be honest, I didn’t realise I had those moves in me.
can-can around the house and to be honest, I didn’t realise I had those moves in me.
I’m attending online training today, it’s a seven hour session, the PowerPoint says 1 of 77 and the trainer has said it’s not likely that we’ll finish early.
Would it hurt to give just a little bit of hope.
Would it hurt to give just a little bit of hope.
December 1, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I’m attending online training today, it’s a seven hour session, the PowerPoint says 1 of 77 and the trainer has said it’s not likely that we’ll finish early.
Would it hurt to give just a little bit of hope.
Would it hurt to give just a little bit of hope.
I’ve not read all of the bible, but I’m thankful for the part where Jesus says every day in December should be started with a quality street and a glass of Rioja.
December 1, 2025 at 9:25 AM
I’ve not read all of the bible, but I’m thankful for the part where Jesus says every day in December should be started with a quality street and a glass of Rioja.
If I’m honest, I have no idea what Thanksgiving is. I always assumed it was just a dress rehearsal for Christmas.
November 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
If I’m honest, I have no idea what Thanksgiving is. I always assumed it was just a dress rehearsal for Christmas.
I miss the good old days when Black Friday didn’t last a month and was just one day. A day where people would queue for hours, then trample on your Nan to get a discounted TV.
We really do ruin everything.
We really do ruin everything.
November 27, 2025 at 6:53 AM
I miss the good old days when Black Friday didn’t last a month and was just one day. A day where people would queue for hours, then trample on your Nan to get a discounted TV.
We really do ruin everything.
We really do ruin everything.
I’m not going to the work Christmas party, mainly because it’s not being held in the office and I refuse to carry the photocopier around with me all night.
November 26, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I’m not going to the work Christmas party, mainly because it’s not being held in the office and I refuse to carry the photocopier around with me all night.
I don’t like to waste paper, so this year, I’m going to wrap all the Christmas presents in pastry.
November 26, 2025 at 7:39 AM
I don’t like to waste paper, so this year, I’m going to wrap all the Christmas presents in pastry.
I hope birds fly past speed check signs to see how fast they’re going.
Going full pelt trying to beat their personal best. Then when they do, go bragging to their mates about it.
Going full pelt trying to beat their personal best. Then when they do, go bragging to their mates about it.
November 18, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I hope birds fly past speed check signs to see how fast they’re going.
Going full pelt trying to beat their personal best. Then when they do, go bragging to their mates about it.
Going full pelt trying to beat their personal best. Then when they do, go bragging to their mates about it.
If I was a superhero and an incident kicked off as I was comfy in bed, I’m sorry, but you’re on your own with that one.
November 16, 2025 at 7:20 AM
If I was a superhero and an incident kicked off as I was comfy in bed, I’m sorry, but you’re on your own with that one.
Even as an adult, it still hurts when I’m in a gift shop and I can’t find a keyring with my name on.
November 15, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Even as an adult, it still hurts when I’m in a gift shop and I can’t find a keyring with my name on.
At some point, there will come a day where you’ll stop and ask yourself “where the fuck did all my tea spoons go?”
November 13, 2025 at 4:03 PM
At some point, there will come a day where you’ll stop and ask yourself “where the fuck did all my tea spoons go?”
‘The most beautiful thing you can wear is a smile’
As lovely as that sentiment is, HR also advised me that it should be accompanied by clothes too.
As lovely as that sentiment is, HR also advised me that it should be accompanied by clothes too.
November 12, 2025 at 9:51 AM
‘The most beautiful thing you can wear is a smile’
As lovely as that sentiment is, HR also advised me that it should be accompanied by clothes too.
As lovely as that sentiment is, HR also advised me that it should be accompanied by clothes too.
“No cunnilingus today, Darling, that’s scheduled for Monday after University Challenge”
November 11, 2025 at 9:41 PM
“No cunnilingus today, Darling, that’s scheduled for Monday after University Challenge”
I’ve probably wasted about 7% of my life thinking up elaborate stories for all those shoes I’ve randomly spotted laying on a motorway or hanging from a tree.
November 11, 2025 at 8:50 PM
I’ve probably wasted about 7% of my life thinking up elaborate stories for all those shoes I’ve randomly spotted laying on a motorway or hanging from a tree.
If I ever end up on life support, I give you permission to ask the doctor if they’ve tried turning me off and on again.
November 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
If I ever end up on life support, I give you permission to ask the doctor if they’ve tried turning me off and on again.
I was looking through the visitors book in the church.
Fuck off Nigel, you c*nt.
Fuck off Nigel, you c*nt.
November 9, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I was looking through the visitors book in the church.
Fuck off Nigel, you c*nt.
Fuck off Nigel, you c*nt.
I can’t wait until Christmas to see your Mum try and squeeze that 6lb turkey into the air fryer.
November 8, 2025 at 7:52 AM
I can’t wait until Christmas to see your Mum try and squeeze that 6lb turkey into the air fryer.
You know when you are in a relationship and your partner wants a neck massage, you can’t be arsed because you get cramps in your hands and they always want it firmer, you get annoyed but do it anyway.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
November 7, 2025 at 2:16 PM
You know when you are in a relationship and your partner wants a neck massage, you can’t be arsed because you get cramps in your hands and they always want it firmer, you get annoyed but do it anyway.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
I’m going to donate blood today, typically I couldn’t find a lid for the Tupperware so I’ve filled up an Asda carrier bag instead.
November 5, 2025 at 10:30 AM
I’m going to donate blood today, typically I couldn’t find a lid for the Tupperware so I’ve filled up an Asda carrier bag instead.
Sex burns 360 calories per hour.
I’ll save you the math…
That’s 60 a year if you’re married.
I’ll save you the math…
That’s 60 a year if you’re married.
November 4, 2025 at 6:52 AM
Sex burns 360 calories per hour.
I’ll save you the math…
That’s 60 a year if you’re married.
I’ll save you the math…
That’s 60 a year if you’re married.
It’s like a glory hole but only chocolate eclairs are pushed through.
November 4, 2025 at 6:25 AM
It’s like a glory hole but only chocolate eclairs are pushed through.
I’m going to watch a fireworks display, it’s advertised as free, so I’m hoping it’s not just a man in a carpark lighting sparklers that have been placed in his bum crack.
November 1, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I’m going to watch a fireworks display, it’s advertised as free, so I’m hoping it’s not just a man in a carpark lighting sparklers that have been placed in his bum crack.
Preparing for Halloween by wearing a sports bra, then I don’t need to worry about my tits falling out as I get chased around the house by a knife wielding clown.
October 31, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Preparing for Halloween by wearing a sports bra, then I don’t need to worry about my tits falling out as I get chased around the house by a knife wielding clown.
While handing out sweets last Halloween, a small child smiled at me and told me that they liked my ‘slutty mum’ costume.
I was touched, especially as I hadn’t dressed up.
I was touched, especially as I hadn’t dressed up.
October 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
While handing out sweets last Halloween, a small child smiled at me and told me that they liked my ‘slutty mum’ costume.
I was touched, especially as I hadn’t dressed up.
I was touched, especially as I hadn’t dressed up.
I’ll tell you who would be good in a zombie apocalypse, people that wear shoes at home, those cunts are prepared for anything.
October 28, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I’ll tell you who would be good in a zombie apocalypse, people that wear shoes at home, those cunts are prepared for anything.