Sarcastigirl
@sarcastigirl.bsky.social
Daydreamer. Sci fi geek. Makeup addict. Occasional writer. Escaped lawyer. I am fluent in snark and profanity.
My dad would be 91 today. We weren’t super-close, as he was a bit of a workaholic and emotionally reticent as only a true New England native can be, but he was a genuinely good person—honest, honorable, and decent. I try to follow that example always, and I miss him every day.
December 1, 2025 at 8:25 PM
My dad would be 91 today. We weren’t super-close, as he was a bit of a workaholic and emotionally reticent as only a true New England native can be, but he was a genuinely good person—honest, honorable, and decent. I try to follow that example always, and I miss him every day.
At 2 am, my smoke alarm decided to sing the song of its people (aka low battery chirp). This morning, I discovered my ice maker is broken again. I get that mundane stuff breaks, but maybe the universe could pause that if we’re going to also have to deal with The Horrors™️ every single day??
November 21, 2025 at 4:34 PM
At 2 am, my smoke alarm decided to sing the song of its people (aka low battery chirp). This morning, I discovered my ice maker is broken again. I get that mundane stuff breaks, but maybe the universe could pause that if we’re going to also have to deal with The Horrors™️ every single day??
May I offer everyone a glimpse at my new tiny light up Lego pumpkin and his ghost fren?
October 28, 2025 at 7:38 PM
May I offer everyone a glimpse at my new tiny light up Lego pumpkin and his ghost fren?
Trying to write *again* but now my wifi card has decided it doesn’t want to work today, so clearly the universe hates me and is actively working to deny me any hope of a creative outlet.
September 24, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Trying to write *again* but now my wifi card has decided it doesn’t want to work today, so clearly the universe hates me and is actively working to deny me any hope of a creative outlet.
I’m trying to write but the neighborhood landscapers are here with their leaf blowers and it’s trash day so the trucks are all “beep beep beep crash thud” and my neighbor’s horrible dog is scream-barking at all of it and I believe this is my villain origin story.
September 23, 2025 at 5:04 PM
I’m trying to write but the neighborhood landscapers are here with their leaf blowers and it’s trash day so the trucks are all “beep beep beep crash thud” and my neighbor’s horrible dog is scream-barking at all of it and I believe this is my villain origin story.
He is sleek, he is fast, he is the lord of all he surveys, and we have named him…My Name Is Squirrel. 😂😂
September 21, 2025 at 8:48 PM
He is sleek, he is fast, he is the lord of all he surveys, and we have named him…My Name Is Squirrel. 😂😂
Did I spent a chunk of my afternoon working on a bracelet that says “Fuck Trump” in Morse code? Yes, I did.
Was that a valuable use of my time? Yes, it was.
Was that a valuable use of my time? Yes, it was.
August 11, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Did I spent a chunk of my afternoon working on a bracelet that says “Fuck Trump” in Morse code? Yes, I did.
Was that a valuable use of my time? Yes, it was.
Was that a valuable use of my time? Yes, it was.
No cheating, your last saved celebrity is your therapist. Who is it?
August 2, 2025 at 10:38 PM
No cheating, your last saved celebrity is your therapist. Who is it?
I dreamed last night that it was the zombie apocalypse and my basement was full of zombie heads. They couldn’t talk—they just squeaked and hopped around, and they were cute so I fed them. More kept showing up, & I basically became a crazy cat lady, only with zombie heads.
I am very normal.
I am very normal.
heads.am
July 29, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I dreamed last night that it was the zombie apocalypse and my basement was full of zombie heads. They couldn’t talk—they just squeaked and hopped around, and they were cute so I fed them. More kept showing up, & I basically became a crazy cat lady, only with zombie heads.
I am very normal.
I am very normal.
I’ll be watching the final episodes of Andor tonight—not planned, but seems like an appropriate way to celebrate this Fourth of July.
July 5, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I’ll be watching the final episodes of Andor tonight—not planned, but seems like an appropriate way to celebrate this Fourth of July.
Okay, so we may be on the verge of world war, but my neighborhood owl, Swoop Dogg (pic 1), has returned to the wash behind my house—and he has a lady fren (pic 2)!! Name suggestions for her are welcome, because all the impending doom has really wiped out my creativity.
June 22, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Okay, so we may be on the verge of world war, but my neighborhood owl, Swoop Dogg (pic 1), has returned to the wash behind my house—and he has a lady fren (pic 2)!! Name suggestions for her are welcome, because all the impending doom has really wiped out my creativity.
My mind will never not be blown by how much time I spend cleaning things that are supposed to save me time by cleaning other things.
Also, good morning to everyone except the person who designed my dishwasher. You know what you did.
Also, good morning to everyone except the person who designed my dishwasher. You know what you did.
June 17, 2025 at 4:16 PM
My mind will never not be blown by how much time I spend cleaning things that are supposed to save me time by cleaning other things.
Also, good morning to everyone except the person who designed my dishwasher. You know what you did.
Also, good morning to everyone except the person who designed my dishwasher. You know what you did.
If you saw a 50-ish woman blasting Sisters of Mercy at the car wash, yeah, that was me, trying to overcome my fear of drive thru car washes by pretending I was back in my goth club years. Just another day of me being Very Normal.
June 10, 2025 at 8:18 PM
If you saw a 50-ish woman blasting Sisters of Mercy at the car wash, yeah, that was me, trying to overcome my fear of drive thru car washes by pretending I was back in my goth club years. Just another day of me being Very Normal.
Stolen from elsewhere but very true.
June 9, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Stolen from elsewhere but very true.
While my husband was being a jerk to me earlier today, a small bunny hopped up to the other side of the screen door where I was standing and just sat there the whole time. Sometimes, I think the universe sends little things to help us get through the tough times. (Or the bunny was hungry 😂)
June 5, 2025 at 5:47 PM
While my husband was being a jerk to me earlier today, a small bunny hopped up to the other side of the screen door where I was standing and just sat there the whole time. Sometimes, I think the universe sends little things to help us get through the tough times. (Or the bunny was hungry 😂)
First day of Pride Month, a chunk of Russia’s Air Force wiped out, and it’s a cool, rainy day in the desert? Perfection.
a rainbow heart with the words happy pride in white
ALT: a rainbow heart with the words happy pride in white
media.tenor.com
June 1, 2025 at 5:41 PM
First day of Pride Month, a chunk of Russia’s Air Force wiped out, and it’s a cool, rainy day in the desert? Perfection.
I do have to give credit where credit is due and admit that this administration achieved something in 4 months that years of therapy and multiple therapists could not—it has fully cured my imposter syndrome.
May 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
I do have to give credit where credit is due and admit that this administration achieved something in 4 months that years of therapy and multiple therapists could not—it has fully cured my imposter syndrome.
I have reached peak law nerd: listening to the birthright citizenship case while working out. Nothing like doing burpees while listening to argument about bills of peace.
May 15, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I have reached peak law nerd: listening to the birthright citizenship case while working out. Nothing like doing burpees while listening to argument about bills of peace.
I generally believe that social media is responsible for a huge number of societal problems, but it’s also responsible for me walking around this morning singing “WOKE MARXIST POPE” to the tune of “Pink Pony Club,” so it can’t be all bad.
May 9, 2025 at 5:23 PM
I generally believe that social media is responsible for a huge number of societal problems, but it’s also responsible for me walking around this morning singing “WOKE MARXIST POPE” to the tune of “Pink Pony Club,” so it can’t be all bad.
My milkshake* brings all the boys** to the yard
*Antidepressant-laden blood
**mosquitoes
*Antidepressant-laden blood
**mosquitoes
May 9, 2025 at 4:18 PM
My milkshake* brings all the boys** to the yard
*Antidepressant-laden blood
**mosquitoes
*Antidepressant-laden blood
**mosquitoes
I’d really like to go back and explain to 2021 me that yes, the pixie cut is super-cute, but you’re going to be growing that shit out while simultaneously coping with perimenopause and the collapse of democracy, so…maybe not?
April 30, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I’d really like to go back and explain to 2021 me that yes, the pixie cut is super-cute, but you’re going to be growing that shit out while simultaneously coping with perimenopause and the collapse of democracy, so…maybe not?
Sorry, flirty guy at the grocery store—you’re cute, but the DOGE bumper sticker on your car took me from “flattered but married” to “not if you were the last human on earth” in .0001 seconds.
April 28, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Sorry, flirty guy at the grocery store—you’re cute, but the DOGE bumper sticker on your car took me from “flattered but married” to “not if you were the last human on earth” in .0001 seconds.
I’m not religious…but if I were, and if I met the head of my faith and that person promptly died, I would 100% reconsider every single one of my life choices.
April 21, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I’m not religious…but if I were, and if I met the head of my faith and that person promptly died, I would 100% reconsider every single one of my life choices.
Me: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Me, 10 minutes later, unclenching my jaw: Oh. Bet that’s why.
Me, an hour later: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Rinse & repeat, probably for the next 4-ish years.
Me, 10 minutes later, unclenching my jaw: Oh. Bet that’s why.
Me, an hour later: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Rinse & repeat, probably for the next 4-ish years.
April 17, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Me: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Me, 10 minutes later, unclenching my jaw: Oh. Bet that’s why.
Me, an hour later: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Rinse & repeat, probably for the next 4-ish years.
Me, 10 minutes later, unclenching my jaw: Oh. Bet that’s why.
Me, an hour later: My teeth hurt. Crap. Wonder if something is wrong.
Rinse & repeat, probably for the next 4-ish years.
It’s morning. I open 🧵 to check on my friends there. I am assaulted by a parade of horrors. I close the app. I open this app to check on my friends here. The horrors continue, with fresh horrors added. I close the app. I realize that this is yet another reason to hate El*n.
April 11, 2025 at 5:35 PM
It’s morning. I open 🧵 to check on my friends there. I am assaulted by a parade of horrors. I close the app. I open this app to check on my friends here. The horrors continue, with fresh horrors added. I close the app. I realize that this is yet another reason to hate El*n.