SarcasticLauren
@sarcasticlauren.bsky.social
Realizing I accidentally bought the regular strength Tums. Why do they even make these - for babies?
May 23, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Realizing I accidentally bought the regular strength Tums. Why do they even make these - for babies?
What sort of paperwork will he need to produce on this name change so he can get his Real ID? #AmericanPope
May 8, 2025 at 5:21 PM
What sort of paperwork will he need to produce on this name change so he can get his Real ID? #AmericanPope
Enjoying Running Point but with all these heart eyes men surrounding Kate Hudson are we supposed to believe she ends up with perfect boyfriend Max Greenfield?
May 3, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Enjoying Running Point but with all these heart eyes men surrounding Kate Hudson are we supposed to believe she ends up with perfect boyfriend Max Greenfield?
Randomly got an email from Amazon that my prime trial had started (I canceled on Inauguration Day) Has this happened to anyone else?
April 27, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Randomly got an email from Amazon that my prime trial had started (I canceled on Inauguration Day) Has this happened to anyone else?
GPS really needs to learn consent.
“Would you like to get on Storrow Drive?”
No, thank you.
Don’t just start taking me there!
“Would you like to get on Storrow Drive?”
No, thank you.
Don’t just start taking me there!
April 17, 2025 at 8:26 AM
GPS really needs to learn consent.
“Would you like to get on Storrow Drive?”
No, thank you.
Don’t just start taking me there!
“Would you like to get on Storrow Drive?”
No, thank you.
Don’t just start taking me there!
Posse Comitatus? What a wild and crazy episode of TV that was!
Oh, wait. It’s 2025 and I’m hearing about it on an npr news report? Yeah that tracks.
Oh, wait. It’s 2025 and I’m hearing about it on an npr news report? Yeah that tracks.
April 15, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Posse Comitatus? What a wild and crazy episode of TV that was!
Oh, wait. It’s 2025 and I’m hearing about it on an npr news report? Yeah that tracks.
Oh, wait. It’s 2025 and I’m hearing about it on an npr news report? Yeah that tracks.
Unfortunately, despite my wait and see approach, the IRS wasn’t one of govt agencies shut down.
This is all to say I finally filed my taxes.
This is all to say I finally filed my taxes.
April 14, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Unfortunately, despite my wait and see approach, the IRS wasn’t one of govt agencies shut down.
This is all to say I finally filed my taxes.
This is all to say I finally filed my taxes.
When you get distracted and suddenly realize Will Gardner has entered the chat!
#BlessedDay #handmaidstale
#BlessedDay #handmaidstale
April 12, 2025 at 12:21 AM
When you get distracted and suddenly realize Will Gardner has entered the chat!
#BlessedDay #handmaidstale
#BlessedDay #handmaidstale
I was reminded today that the government is not making decisions for my benefit but for the benefit of billionaires like Charles Schwab, who I did not know was a real person.
April 11, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I was reminded today that the government is not making decisions for my benefit but for the benefit of billionaires like Charles Schwab, who I did not know was a real person.
Billionaires are the only minority ruining our country!
April 5, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Billionaires are the only minority ruining our country!
Reposted by SarcasticLauren
Hands Off Protest Boston!
April 5, 2025 Boston Common
April 5, 2025 Boston Common
April 5, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Hands Off Protest Boston!
April 5, 2025 Boston Common
April 5, 2025 Boston Common
This week I had to ask someone what a substack is and now there is apparently a new messaging program I haven’t heard of that people are using to plan wars.
Just put me out to pasture.
Just put me out to pasture.
March 26, 2025 at 1:37 AM
This week I had to ask someone what a substack is and now there is apparently a new messaging program I haven’t heard of that people are using to plan wars.
Just put me out to pasture.
Just put me out to pasture.
Me in the national security group chat
March 25, 2025 at 6:32 AM
Me in the national security group chat
Optometrist appointments are the scariest kind because I have no idea what he’s talking about. He’ll just say things like “oh these capillaries are a little inflamed” which is probably just small talk for him and meanwhile I’m thinking “omg I’m going blind!”
March 24, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Optometrist appointments are the scariest kind because I have no idea what he’s talking about. He’ll just say things like “oh these capillaries are a little inflamed” which is probably just small talk for him and meanwhile I’m thinking “omg I’m going blind!”
Is it part of the rich people diet to keep your drinks in another area of the house so you either need to walk to the garage or basement or drink plain water all day?
February 18, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Is it part of the rich people diet to keep your drinks in another area of the house so you either need to walk to the garage or basement or drink plain water all day?
Reposted by SarcasticLauren
“Sources within NOAA say that the additional administrative burden, combined with an ongoing federal hiring freeze and additional anticipated staff and budget cuts, will hamper ability of the US to maintain a functioning public weather service.” www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Noaa imposes limits on scientists, sparking concerns over global forecasts
‘Crackdown on climate’ predicted as oversight enacted over agency staffers’ email and meetings with foreign nationals
www.theguardian.com
February 12, 2025 at 9:26 PM
“Sources within NOAA say that the additional administrative burden, combined with an ongoing federal hiring freeze and additional anticipated staff and budget cuts, will hamper ability of the US to maintain a functioning public weather service.” www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
I know that’s just how cadets dress but god that was freaky to look up and see 😬 #fascism #SuperBowl
February 9, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I know that’s just how cadets dress but god that was freaky to look up and see 😬 #fascism #SuperBowl
Reposted by SarcasticLauren
NEW: White House requested a list of CIA employees as part of efforts to shrink the federal government. The list, which included partial names, was sent in an unclassified email. David Sanger and I report: www.nytimes.com/2025/02/05/u...
C.I.A. Sends White House an Unclassified Email With Names of Some Employees (Gift Article)
The list of partial names was provided in an effort to comply with an executive order to trim the federal work force.
www.nytimes.com
February 5, 2025 at 5:45 PM
NEW: White House requested a list of CIA employees as part of efforts to shrink the federal government. The list, which included partial names, was sent in an unclassified email. David Sanger and I report: www.nytimes.com/2025/02/05/u...
This may be a little dramatic but it should be illegal to give someone the wrong order in a drive thru. The fast food places should carry malpractice insurance for those kinds of mistakes.
February 1, 2025 at 4:24 AM
This may be a little dramatic but it should be illegal to give someone the wrong order in a drive thru. The fast food places should carry malpractice insurance for those kinds of mistakes.
Reposted by SarcasticLauren
All NIH study sections canceled indefinitely. This will halt science and devastate research budgets in universities.
January 22, 2025 at 8:46 PM
All NIH study sections canceled indefinitely. This will halt science and devastate research budgets in universities.
Reposted by SarcasticLauren
parents told me tonight that they bought a ticket using “everybody’s bday”
Me: so which part of my bday did you use?
Mom: I can’t remember offhand
Me: how can you be sure you used mine if you don’t remember?
Mom: I’ll look after dinner
Me: maybe you only used my sister’s and you forgot mine
Mom: 🤨
Me: so which part of my bday did you use?
Mom: I can’t remember offhand
Me: how can you be sure you used mine if you don’t remember?
Mom: I’ll look after dinner
Me: maybe you only used my sister’s and you forgot mine
Mom: 🤨
Hey, did you guys hear that the Mega Millions drawing tonight is for almost a BILLION dollars???
FUN FACT: Nobody has ever won that game on Christmas Eve. I'm going to get my ticket NOW. 🙏💰🙏
FUN FACT: Nobody has ever won that game on Christmas Eve. I'm going to get my ticket NOW. 🙏💰🙏
December 25, 2024 at 5:49 AM
parents told me tonight that they bought a ticket using “everybody’s bday”
Me: so which part of my bday did you use?
Mom: I can’t remember offhand
Me: how can you be sure you used mine if you don’t remember?
Mom: I’ll look after dinner
Me: maybe you only used my sister’s and you forgot mine
Mom: 🤨
Me: so which part of my bday did you use?
Mom: I can’t remember offhand
Me: how can you be sure you used mine if you don’t remember?
Mom: I’ll look after dinner
Me: maybe you only used my sister’s and you forgot mine
Mom: 🤨
I found some more clothes in the basement bins last night looking for my puffer vest. (Also found another, brand new forgotten about puffer vest)
I now have 20 pairs of winter dress pants. That’s too many pants!
I now have 20 pairs of winter dress pants. That’s too many pants!
December 20, 2024 at 1:49 PM
I found some more clothes in the basement bins last night looking for my puffer vest. (Also found another, brand new forgotten about puffer vest)
I now have 20 pairs of winter dress pants. That’s too many pants!
I now have 20 pairs of winter dress pants. That’s too many pants!
Gotta say the full circle transition of John Mulaney going from wife guy to blowing up his career after revealing he’s a relapsed addict who cheated on his wife and left her for a hot famous movie star after impregnating her and now fully back to wife guy all within 3 years is kind of impressive.
December 17, 2024 at 12:45 AM
Gotta say the full circle transition of John Mulaney going from wife guy to blowing up his career after revealing he’s a relapsed addict who cheated on his wife and left her for a hot famous movie star after impregnating her and now fully back to wife guy all within 3 years is kind of impressive.