Sarah Tollison
@sarahtollison.bsky.social
Smartass. Instantly like anyone who can make laugh. Jackson, WY by way of Atlanta, GA. Single childless dog lady.
Huh. This is a long-sleeve fleece-lined shirt, not a sex toy. Don't really understand the need for "privacy," but okay.
November 29, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Huh. This is a long-sleeve fleece-lined shirt, not a sex toy. Don't really understand the need for "privacy," but okay.
Whether this is tariffs or inflation, this is untenable.
November 9, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Whether this is tariffs or inflation, this is untenable.
When I got home from work today, my dog did an extra-excited little jump, and I really needed that. Everyone does.
November 4, 2025 at 1:31 AM
When I got home from work today, my dog did an extra-excited little jump, and I really needed that. Everyone does.
The problem with stranger danger when you're hiking in a non-touristy spot is that you're already at the second location.
September 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
The problem with stranger danger when you're hiking in a non-touristy spot is that you're already at the second location.
What in the hell are you talking about? This not only looks exactly like Glenn Powell, this expression looks like it actually represents what I imagine his real personality is like.
August 31, 2025 at 9:15 PM
What in the hell are you talking about? This not only looks exactly like Glenn Powell, this expression looks like it actually represents what I imagine his real personality is like.
Gen Xers had the wonderful pleasure of being fascinated by the clear pages of the human body in the World Book Encyclopedia.
August 4, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Gen Xers had the wonderful pleasure of being fascinated by the clear pages of the human body in the World Book Encyclopedia.
I wonder if I'm the only dipshit who thought this rapidly tossed your salad as opposed to just drying greens more quickly.
July 18, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I wonder if I'm the only dipshit who thought this rapidly tossed your salad as opposed to just drying greens more quickly.
I know our democracy is crumbling, but headlines like this crack me up. He's the world's biggest douchebag.
July 14, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I know our democracy is crumbling, but headlines like this crack me up. He's the world's biggest douchebag.
this study was unnecessary
July 7, 2025 at 12:17 PM
this study was unnecessary
Listen, US weekly has always been garbage, but this is some AI apocalyptic shit. WTF.
July 7, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Listen, US weekly has always been garbage, but this is some AI apocalyptic shit. WTF.
Pro Tip: You save years if you don't go to parties at all.
July 6, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Pro Tip: You save years if you don't go to parties at all.
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
Emily Dickinson, 1861
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
Emily Dickinson, 1861
July 5, 2025 at 7:50 AM
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
Emily Dickinson, 1861
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
Emily Dickinson, 1861
This is what Ms. Kardashian wore to the Bezos/Sanchez "pajama party," and she must sleep like absolute SHIT.
June 29, 2025 at 1:26 PM
This is what Ms. Kardashian wore to the Bezos/Sanchez "pajama party," and she must sleep like absolute SHIT.
"My Mom Jayne," a documentary by Mariska Hargitay about her mom, Jayne Mansfield, is extraordinary. It's not just about her mom, but about family, secrets, tragedies, and she not only finds out about who her mom really was, but who she is. A++
June 28, 2025 at 2:47 AM
"My Mom Jayne," a documentary by Mariska Hargitay about her mom, Jayne Mansfield, is extraordinary. It's not just about her mom, but about family, secrets, tragedies, and she not only finds out about who her mom really was, but who she is. A++
Everything's fucked, but let's not overlook the little things, like the fact that our dipshit president signs his tweets with his name and title.
June 22, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Everything's fucked, but let's not overlook the little things, like the fact that our dipshit president signs his tweets with his name and title.
Happy 2nd Gotcha Day to sweet Jack. I wouldn't have survived the last year without him. This is a picture from our hike this morning on Snow King. It pretty much sums up how much better my life is with him in it. 💖 #dogsofbluesky #australianshepherdboxerpittymix #rescuedog
June 8, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Happy 2nd Gotcha Day to sweet Jack. I wouldn't have survived the last year without him. This is a picture from our hike this morning on Snow King. It pretty much sums up how much better my life is with him in it. 💖 #dogsofbluesky #australianshepherdboxerpittymix #rescuedog
The court sketches of Diddy make it look like he has jaundice, and I very much hope he does, the more I hear about his abject cruelty, misogyny and inhumanity. I hope his kidneys are fucking pickled.
May 14, 2025 at 11:43 PM
The court sketches of Diddy make it look like he has jaundice, and I very much hope he does, the more I hear about his abject cruelty, misogyny and inhumanity. I hope his kidneys are fucking pickled.
I'm returning some Levi's, and I have never seen this option before on the Returns page. I really want to know the origin of this.😂
May 4, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I'm returning some Levi's, and I have never seen this option before on the Returns page. I really want to know the origin of this.😂
Every time I see Sabrina Carpenter, this is what comes to mind.
May 3, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Every time I see Sabrina Carpenter, this is what comes to mind.
I have a trial later this year, and I really want to get a David Byrne suit made because I don't think a jury would even care about the facts of the case, I could just win by wearing that. I need to work on my charisma, though, because I do not have David Byrne rizz.
April 30, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I have a trial later this year, and I really want to get a David Byrne suit made because I don't think a jury would even care about the facts of the case, I could just win by wearing that. I need to work on my charisma, though, because I do not have David Byrne rizz.
Weezer bassist Scott Shriner’s wife was shot by police (apparently she's fine) after she pointed a gun at them and wouldn't drop it, then was charged with attempted murder. Whatever you thought the wife of Weezer's bassist might look like, she's sooooooooooo exactly that, but more cartoonish.
April 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Weezer bassist Scott Shriner’s wife was shot by police (apparently she's fine) after she pointed a gun at them and wouldn't drop it, then was charged with attempted murder. Whatever you thought the wife of Weezer's bassist might look like, she's sooooooooooo exactly that, but more cartoonish.
Low-key hilarious reveal on #WhiteLotus was that it seemed like Laurie was trying to sneak-jump out of a very high window, when, in fact, the drop once she was hanging from the window frame was about a foot.😂
April 1, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Low-key hilarious reveal on #WhiteLotus was that it seemed like Laurie was trying to sneak-jump out of a very high window, when, in fact, the drop once she was hanging from the window frame was about a foot.😂
Rick's word salad of a confrontation with Jim was anti-climactic and nonsensical. Super weird for a conversation that Rick says he's rehearsed a thousand times in his mind. #WhiteLotus
March 31, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Rick's word salad of a confrontation with Jim was anti-climactic and nonsensical. Super weird for a conversation that Rick says he's rehearsed a thousand times in his mind. #WhiteLotus
A single gander at IMDb would've been prudent for Frank to distract Sritala while Rick was about to kill her husband. At least he started spitting a LITTLE game when Sritala showed him one of her movies. Frank and Rick need to go to how-to-be-a-conman school. #WhiteLotus
March 31, 2025 at 9:53 AM
A single gander at IMDb would've been prudent for Frank to distract Sritala while Rick was about to kill her husband. At least he started spitting a LITTLE game when Sritala showed him one of her movies. Frank and Rick need to go to how-to-be-a-conman school. #WhiteLotus
#WhiteLotus line of the week, from Chelsea to Saxon, when Saxon blames whatever drug they took on the previous night's events:
“I don't think there's a drug in the world that would make me get with my brother.”
“I don't think there's a drug in the world that would make me get with my brother.”
March 24, 2025 at 3:30 PM
#WhiteLotus line of the week, from Chelsea to Saxon, when Saxon blames whatever drug they took on the previous night's events:
“I don't think there's a drug in the world that would make me get with my brother.”
“I don't think there's a drug in the world that would make me get with my brother.”