Back then… I didn’t really either. It was intensely lonely and isolating.

😭 this is eerily similar to the holiday grief experienced by soooo many of my custody coaching clients. I’m sorry you went thru that Gretchen, and I’m so glad for what you do for others now. 🥰

When I look back over the last 20 years -- that's the one specific day that stands out among all the other little sparks of strength here and there.

It's one of the reasons I became a Clarity Coach myself...
And it's why I train others to become Clarity Coaches too!

#purposeinpain

That day... that coaching call...
was the first time I'd felt truly *heard* in years...
was the first time it felt like I had someone in my corner who could see the big picture clearly and give wise guidance.

That day... that call...
was the turning point in my healing journey.

Yes, the biggest challenge I think is that this approach definitely means taking the long road. There are no shortcuts or quick fixes. It requires consistent, compassionate, caring love and respect for a long, long, long time.

My biggest tip to parents in this situation is to parent with contrast, not control. In other words, don’t try to counter parent your ex. Don’t get stricter because they’re too indulgent, or looser because they’re too controlling. Just stay steady and focus on relational connection.

Thanks! Looking forward to exploring the platform here.

And then we must either address those factors… or exit that system.

… because we simply cannot call ourselves people of integrity if we do not.”

>Mulling through my thoughts after reading A Well-Trained Wife” by Tia Levings, Writer<

Therefore — when any collective group is disproportionately populated with individuals who feed on hierarchical power and feast on the freedom it provides to control others — we have a to ask, “What factors make this system innately inviting to those with a penchant for harm instead of humility?”

In addition, we must acknowledge the stark, chilling reality that people who love to control and coerce will be naturally drawn to belief systems that allow or even reward them for doing so… systems based on power, on hierarchy, on control.

Because — if a collective system is consistently venerating and empowering those who teach and practice harm to the vulnerable, we cannot sidestep culpability by attempting to solely blame the individual.

We MUST assess the components of belief which allow (or encourage) evil to flourish.

…we simply MUST look to the underlying belief system and ask ourselves — “What conscious or subconscious beliefs are underpinning the pillars of our teachings and shaping the space that allows harmful patterns of behavior to thrive unchecked?”

This means…

…when a disproportionate ratio of coercive, entitled, controlling behavior commonly thrives inside a group of people, or even composes the general baseline of a group’s identifying subculture…

Likewise, kind-hearted, Christlike humans may be present in any system.)

But the presence of good humans does not absolve or offset the systemic endorsement and empowerment of bad behavior.