i'm 1 pixel
@sapphicghost.bsky.social
🩷💜💙
BPD vent account
27 y/o (minors DNI)
💛🤍💜🖤
my pronouns? easy, if you're a girl, use she/her (ella). if you're not, use xe/xer (elle)
BPD vent account
27 y/o (minors DNI)
💛🤍💜🖤
my pronouns? easy, if you're a girl, use she/her (ella). if you're not, use xe/xer (elle)
first time i tried to kms was like "omg what i just did" second was like "i CAN do it and i'm about to do it" but now is like "i don't know how to die and that keeps me trapped in this life for good"
December 24, 2025 at 10:45 PM
first time i tried to kms was like "omg what i just did" second was like "i CAN do it and i'm about to do it" but now is like "i don't know how to die and that keeps me trapped in this life for good"
like i'd do anything, it's been 10 years with the same thoughts, my live is a waiting room for death
December 24, 2025 at 10:43 PM
like i'd do anything, it's been 10 years with the same thoughts, my live is a waiting room for death
another year thinking "i can't kms on christmas, that would be sad"
December 24, 2025 at 10:41 PM
another year thinking "i can't kms on christmas, that would be sad"
"trauma made me funnier 🤪" actually not lol, suicide jokes are boring af
November 27, 2025 at 3:22 PM
"trauma made me funnier 🤪" actually not lol, suicide jokes are boring af
what anxiety does to my train of thoughts.... wew
November 27, 2025 at 8:27 AM
what anxiety does to my train of thoughts.... wew
ugh i hate the "you don't want to die you just want yo end the pain 🥺"
mmm no. i can tolerate suffering. what i can't tolerate is senseless suffering.
i'm functional but hopeless. what i want is a meaningful life
mmm no. i can tolerate suffering. what i can't tolerate is senseless suffering.
i'm functional but hopeless. what i want is a meaningful life
November 27, 2025 at 8:18 AM
ugh i hate the "you don't want to die you just want yo end the pain 🥺"
mmm no. i can tolerate suffering. what i can't tolerate is senseless suffering.
i'm functional but hopeless. what i want is a meaningful life
mmm no. i can tolerate suffering. what i can't tolerate is senseless suffering.
i'm functional but hopeless. what i want is a meaningful life
"you can always trust me" no man, i can do it once or twice, but i've been dealing with suicide thoughts for a decade. eventually you'll get tired
November 27, 2025 at 12:41 AM
"you can always trust me" no man, i can do it once or twice, but i've been dealing with suicide thoughts for a decade. eventually you'll get tired
honestly for me being alive is a constant effort with no reward. i have to be responsible of a life i didn't ask. plus: it's expensive
November 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
honestly for me being alive is a constant effort with no reward. i have to be responsible of a life i didn't ask. plus: it's expensive
no:
🩷i'm not gonna vent with my new friends when i'm suicidal🩷
🩷last time i did it they abandoned me🩷
🩷if i survive this alone i won't lose anyone. if i don't survive it i'll die🩷
🩷win-win🩷
🩷i'm not gonna vent with my new friends when i'm suicidal🩷
🩷last time i did it they abandoned me🩷
🩷if i survive this alone i won't lose anyone. if i don't survive it i'll die🩷
🩷win-win🩷
November 27, 2025 at 12:32 AM
no:
🩷i'm not gonna vent with my new friends when i'm suicidal🩷
🩷last time i did it they abandoned me🩷
🩷if i survive this alone i won't lose anyone. if i don't survive it i'll die🩷
🩷win-win🩷
🩷i'm not gonna vent with my new friends when i'm suicidal🩷
🩷last time i did it they abandoned me🩷
🩷if i survive this alone i won't lose anyone. if i don't survive it i'll die🩷
🩷win-win🩷
the hardest part of healing is not having referents. what is "good" and "wrong" is too complex and i can't trust in normative common sense or in my teen's ways.
it seems everything i've learnt is useless now
it seems everything i've learnt is useless now
November 26, 2025 at 5:31 PM
the hardest part of healing is not having referents. what is "good" and "wrong" is too complex and i can't trust in normative common sense or in my teen's ways.
it seems everything i've learnt is useless now
it seems everything i've learnt is useless now
i feel like i'm broken because i can't care about someone else in a short time. i mean in a personal way. of course i care about injustices and i have a minimum empathy
but to care deeply about someone else..... idk what it's needed
but to care deeply about someone else..... idk what it's needed
November 26, 2025 at 5:19 PM
i feel like i'm broken because i can't care about someone else in a short time. i mean in a personal way. of course i care about injustices and i have a minimum empathy
but to care deeply about someone else..... idk what it's needed
but to care deeply about someone else..... idk what it's needed
OMG hear me out! i'm always thinking "ugh, friendships, relationships... are so much effort and no pleasure" because maybe i never ask for what i need!!
or maybe i'm a bad person idk
or maybe i'm a bad person idk
November 26, 2025 at 5:07 PM
OMG hear me out! i'm always thinking "ugh, friendships, relationships... are so much effort and no pleasure" because maybe i never ask for what i need!!
or maybe i'm a bad person idk
or maybe i'm a bad person idk
i want to scream but i can't so i have to contain the urge for sh
November 26, 2025 at 3:21 PM
i want to scream but i can't so i have to contain the urge for sh
aaaah~ the pleasure of shouting back 🩷
November 26, 2025 at 3:19 PM
aaaah~ the pleasure of shouting back 🩷
i have 3 sleep hours to carry the day and this cold isn't helping
November 24, 2025 at 7:21 AM
i have 3 sleep hours to carry the day and this cold isn't helping
yass here i am screaming at the void
November 22, 2025 at 6:52 PM
yass here i am screaming at the void