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salsus.bsky.social
Sara Hoffman
@salsus.bsky.social
130 followers 130 following 210 posts
web analyzing [ lesbian in a hat ]
You can call me Hoff (they/them)
GA4, GTM, BigQuery, GMP
Hire me: https://inahat.co/hirehoff
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salsus.bsky.social
What is even the point of Release Notes? Don’t be boring AF

Two months of smoothing? Is it flat already?
Screenshot of app release notes from the last 2 months for the Starbucks app showing 8 individual releases that all say “We made some changes to make things run smoother”
September 19, 2025 at 2:43 PM
salsus.bsky.social
The third and final ticket release for MeasureCamp DC went live earlier this week - grab yours today: bit.ly/46eWTeH

Already attending? Thinking about hosting a session? download a session card: bit.ly/4nj1UJY
MeasureCamp DC promotion image with the Chinatown Metro fan as the backdrop. October 4th, 2025 from 9a to 5p. Location is the District Architecture Center at 421 7th St NW, the Gallery Place-Chinatown Metro station.
September 11, 2025 at 5:16 PM
salsus.bsky.social
New Star Trek character just dropped: 11 of 9
Did the Borg forget how to count?
Screenshot of a search feature where a user can select the number of "Rows per page:" The dropdown value says 10 and the text to the right that states the number of results shown in the information returned says "11-9 of 9"
September 5, 2025 at 10:10 PM
salsus.bsky.social
I smashed two lantern flies on my way to the metro.
I’m doing my part (meme from the movie Starship Troopers)
July 24, 2025 at 12:06 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Just because I measure marketing doesn't mean I'm any good at it - ticket drop coming this week for MeasureCampDC!
bit.ly/4kPKJy6

#measure #measurecamp #measurecampdc
July 20, 2025 at 6:42 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Help find my friend’s dad!

🚨 URGENT

Name: Yuji Yokoyama

Description:
- Age: 73
- Gender: Male
- Race: Asian
- Hair Color: White/Gray
- Eye Color: Brown
- Height: 5’6”
- Weight: approximately 180 lbs
🚨 URGENT: PLEASE HELP US FIND MY DAD My dad is on an extended work trip in New Mexico and went missing over the weekend in Las Cruces. We haven't been able to reach him via phone or email, and his car was found along State Road 185 (mile 19 marker) near the entrance to a trail. We think he most likely went hiking and either got lost or injured out there. There is a search and rescue effort out for him, but if you know anyone in that region, please share this with them. Name: Yuji Yokoyama Description: - Age: 73 - Gender: Male - Race: Asian - Hair Color: White/Gray - Eye Color: Brown - Height: 5’6” - Weight: approximately 180 lbs - Last Known Location: State Road 185 mile marker 19 in Las Cruces, New Mexico on June 29, 2025 around 12pm noon. - Last Seen Wearing: a blue cap 🧢, white polo shirt, and gray long pants PLEASE HELP If you are in the area or can help with the search, or if you have any information that could lead to his whereabouts, please contact New Mexico State Police D4 Las Cruces at 575-382-2500. New Mexico Department of Public Safety Missing Person Hotline 1-800-457-3463
July 1, 2025 at 11:33 PM
salsus.bsky.social
What kind of counterintuitive bullshit is this, @alamodrafthouse.bsky.social ?
QR code ordering at a phones-free venue. Y’all are nuts.
Photo of a sign at Alamo Drafthouse explaining ordering before a show with a QR code on your phone.
July 1, 2025 at 1:07 AM
salsus.bsky.social
Biggie watched me pee at Lucky Records in Reykjavik, Iceland
Old poster of Notorious B.I.G, big poppa, for Mo Money, Mo Problems designed to look like a dollar bill. Off to the left is the corner of a sink and a towel hanging from a hook on the wall, because there is a toilet across from the poster.
June 18, 2025 at 8:40 PM
salsus.bsky.social
I wasn’t always a “rainbow” gay, but I’ve been getting into it as a parent. #WorldPrideDC #DCPride #WorldPride
A smiling tween with her face painted in the bi-flag colors of pink, purple, and blue taking a picture with their smiling parent who is wearing a hat and sunglasses. Together, they’re standing in front of a bus with rainbow colors that says World Pride 2025 (Washington, DC) Photo of students and a parent marking in the 2025 World Pride DC parade, taken from behind. Two kids are wearing bi-flags as capes and others have flags or streamers. In front of the marchers is a float.
June 10, 2025 at 12:37 AM
salsus.bsky.social
Look, I did a thing.
Sleeve of a grey, blue, and white plaid shirt sleeve with visible mending in a repeating plus sign pattern.
June 1, 2025 at 10:35 PM
salsus.bsky.social
This is the only consistent habit in my life.
Thanks for nine years, Abe @timehop.bsky.social
Screenshot from the application called Timehop that shows you “this day in history” via your photos and social media. The screenshot is of their last screen where they typically have a silly quote and their mascot, Abe, is in a costume or something. This is a grid of 9 images of Abe, with “NINE YEARS!” in large letters followed by “…and counting.” Below is a pink ribbon on a stack of other ribbons centered around the number 3285 which equals 9 years.
May 16, 2025 at 12:31 PM
salsus.bsky.social
In the world of “Sara can’t have nice things” I give you…
Photo taken on the roof of a building, pictured are several air conditioning units. The central unit is leaning off to the right side and is off of its lower supports which are also turned and off-center.
May 7, 2025 at 6:05 PM
salsus.bsky.social
White sticker on a dark window that reads “this is the sign you’ve been looking for” with a lovely little cat face drawing in the corner.
April 16, 2025 at 11:48 PM
salsus.bsky.social
The kids are alright
Photo of a four point folder paper ninja star sitting on a grey and blue rug (that I should probably vacuum).
March 24, 2025 at 8:54 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Maybe more like this?

(source: www.etsy.com/listing/1452...)
Photo of a small fairy figurine. He's sitting crosslegged on some moss, wearing his red baseball cap backwards and has his cool dude shades on. Wearing his gold t-shirt and denim shorts.
March 13, 2025 at 6:53 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Supervisor Nebula reporting for duty
A black cat with a green color is asleep and curled up in a grey cat tree hammock.
February 11, 2025 at 3:08 PM
salsus.bsky.social
New gender, who dis?
‘Merica
Screenshot of a form dropdown selection for “gender” The selection made is “Non-Binary (United States of America)”
December 13, 2024 at 1:26 AM
salsus.bsky.social
RIP Twitter. I barely had any original posts in 2024 over there, so thank you for the 16 year run, little bird app and fail whale.
Screenshot from the profile of @salsus from Twitter for memories. @salsus has 28.8k posts, follows ~1200 and has 777 followers, and joined Twitter in May of 2007. Other profile details match the profile here on bsky.
December 2, 2024 at 3:26 PM
salsus.bsky.social
I've decided that my alignment changes to Chaotic Evil when it comes to #nametwins. A mother goose has laid six eggs and has been told by the HOA that they cannot stay once they hatch.
Screenshot of the body of an email. The text reads, "Geese gonna geese. I'm not your Sara(h). Cheers, some other Sara Hoffman" There is an image attached with the Untitled Goose Game goose with a knife.
March 15, 2024 at 1:18 AM
salsus.bsky.social
Cat or unicorn, you decide.
Back of a grey cat’s head with a white whisker pushed into their fur like a unicorn horn.
February 26, 2024 at 1:45 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Lofi Loth cat plus cat
January 4, 2024 at 2:02 AM
salsus.bsky.social
No, you’ve had McDonald’s two nights in a row because they have squishmallows
December 30, 2023 at 12:11 AM
salsus.bsky.social
What concerts did I go to this year? Janelle and MUNA. Thanks, kiddo, for the Taylor Swift
November 30, 2023 at 9:49 PM
salsus.bsky.social
Spotify be trolling.
Phone notification from Spotify: Sad Bops might earn a regular spot in your playlist rotation.
November 9, 2023 at 9:30 PM
salsus.bsky.social
The black flame candle was lit in DC too
10 year old child dressed in a Halloween costume as Winifred Sanderson from the movie Hocus Pocus.
November 1, 2023 at 12:36 PM