five dollar catboys
LightNews LightNews
banner
salmonking.bsky.social
five dollar catboys
@salmonking.bsky.social
250 followers 280 following 1.5K posts
@salmonking on Tumblr. white/mixed (NB). 30 or 40 years old 🔞. I only care about gay little elves. i:@rookiebe b:@neunian
Posts Replies Media Videos
salmonking.bsky.social
HERE IT IS... Emma (and us 💔) whilst tanking
September 12, 2025 at 4:08 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
"what in the hell is this" you're asking. And you're right to ask, bc what it is is a crime against good taste. Really helps one appreciate how bad things were in the old country.
A pot full of holubky: rolls of overcooked flatulent cabbage and blanched ground meat stewed in a thin tomato sauce that makes every individual roll weep a gory trail.
July 6, 2025 at 4:46 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
With a Keeper switch and significant 'enhancements' to basically his whole face and eyes... He kind of comes close to what he used to look like. But I'll never quite get used to the shift from how he used to be. and without the changes he'd be unrecognizable lol.
A catboy with brown skin and white-striped black hair stands in one of the Endwalker dungeons. He's looking to the left. His eyes are a pale, luminous blue much like the aetheric crystals behind him, and he has cute little fangs. Same catboy looking up a little innocently/in surprise on a blue catwalk. Same catboy looking over his shoulder and fiercely shouting a command. He is so handsome here it's unfair Similar looking catboy but his skin tone is slightly different. His mouth and nose are thicker, and he has developed a slight chin scruff. His eyes still shine, but the luminosity is a bit different. Only with certain enhancements have his eyebrows survived to the present day.
June 30, 2025 at 3:10 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
With apologies to OP.
A modified Bluesky post from "Catboy of Light!" reading "when I went to Coerthas everyone was like "oh you're from Ul'dah, so scary" but literally every true crime podcast is about some repressed weirdo from Coerthas believing their kid is a dragon"
June 28, 2025 at 4:07 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
I got the most AMAZING commission back today of my pirate bunboy, Remi, by @carmenfflv.bsky.social -- absolute dream come true! PLEASE check out her art, it's so so good and so worth it!!
A viera (bunny boy) with dark skin and long, wavy white hair leans against a Dhelmise (pokemon), which is inclining slightly toward him. The viera is dressed in a frilly piratical shirt and tight-fitting dark trousers, and is looking impassively at the camera with arms folded. His left eye has a scar across it. The Dhelmise is easily his entire height, and looks like an anchor with seaweed hanging off of it and a ship's wheel behind its eyes. The left eye is shattered.
June 23, 2025 at 3:09 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Woe! Transmasc bunboy pirate alt be upon ye... his name is Remi :) I'm so not looking forward to the heat wave but thanks for making it a little more bearable!
A Rava viera with dark gray skin and stark white hair, smartly dressed in a little cravat with a collar, reacts with mild surprise to something just off camera The same guy but in a blue piratical sort of outfit and he's looking determined and focused. A fancy gpose of the same guy with the first outfit on again. The shaders bring out his pale blue eyes which match the blue gem in his moon earring. More visible here is a scar down the length of his face which this picture throws into sharp relief, and a narrow gold band patterned like a stalk of wheat across his forehead.
June 21, 2025 at 8:42 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
Me multiple times this week... I rlly hope he turns up soon this sounds so hard to go through and also like have life just continue on ughhh 🫂
Old man who claims to be thinking about thos Beans in his iconic Facebook post
June 2, 2025 at 10:40 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
went on a boat with my wildling guy today... elementals really DO love him god damn
wayward hooking a spectral bass on his first cast at like level 43 or something doing it again in the last zone of the hafgufa/placodus route. also both times were his first time catching that spectral species I forgot to say that.
May 29, 2025 at 2:58 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Annotated what I saw on a quick glance.. I was like damn where do I get a bag I could curl up in
May 24, 2025 at 3:31 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
Sad ant with bindle
May 18, 2025 at 4:51 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Please look at my newest child... her name is Onion
A Lala with pale skin and yellow undertones, dramatically lit in front of a struggling Godsbow. Her hair is pale white with green highlights on the tips, her eyes are a shining green, and she has little green onion slices drawn on over her pink cheeks. She is simply clad in yellow-brown conjurers' clothes. Her small expression is very serious. The same maiden regards her hand with a surprised expression in front of a tree She looks displeased in this one and it's very cute and funnie She is casting a spell, her large eyes are closed and she is surrounded by pink as she lifts a hand to her face and bows her head
May 17, 2025 at 2:49 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
Pain measurement scale with "hurts whole lot" circled
May 16, 2025 at 3:11 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
They got all of ours -- hope the grifters like catboys in heat I guess
Screencap of an AI scrape search showing the entirety of the post author's work was ingested by AI
May 15, 2025 at 3:49 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
We're gonna need some parameters around "emotionally mature" skdjskd. But hey, 4-way bingo ain't bad!
Most of the spaces on this bingo card are occupied by Kal's big silly head.
May 13, 2025 at 10:32 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
May 10, 2025 at 3:19 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
IM DOING MY PART.... (as is Val who posed half of these)
Kal snuggling with M'zhet Tia Cyr and Phio with the caption "the point of life is nasty gay sex." Phio looks merry about this. Cyr looks as though he has dawning questions that are not being resolved Kal and Emmanellain making a heart with their hands in Dragonhead as Honoroit rubs his eyes behind them wearily Kal smooching on Jeryk while Val looks on approvingly
May 8, 2025 at 4:27 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
Behold... his namesake (my sweetest guy Tobby, who passed away two years ago)
A black and gray tabby with a reddish tint to his fur. His large green eyes look upwards toward the viewer.
May 5, 2025 at 1:58 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
THE POLICE ALMOST SHUT US DOWN.... BUT WE STAY STRONG
May 4, 2025 at 1:52 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Public enemy number one at it again
Nenu menaces an innocent knightly lady who just wanted to have a normal one
May 4, 2025 at 1:16 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Our merrie band grows! Notwithstanding some tense moments when one of us (cough) turns out to be a little too familiar with the Hearers for comfort....
A group of ne'er do wells assaulting the walls of Quarrymill with messages of questionable taste.
May 4, 2025 at 12:09 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
Nice wall you've got here, Quarrymill. Be a right shame if something was to happen to it.
The Redbelly poachers surround the innocent wall of Quarrymill, which has done nothing wrong except prop up the Gridanian heterodoxy.
May 3, 2025 at 10:58 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
EVERYONE SHOULD DRAW DICKS ACTUALLY.... so come do that with the Redbellies on May 3rd!! Let's show Hearer Charline who's boss around here

Where: Crystal, Mateus, Quarrymill, X24.4 Y21.0
When: May 3rd, 7PM EST til whenever our arms get tired
A Duskwight woman in a Redbelly Wasp bandit outfit stands in front of their precious wall and holds up a finger excitedly to point to her current location (X24.4 Y21.0 outside of Quarrymill in the South Shroud). A scroll next to her invites you to come and vandalize Quarrymill's walls again on May 3rd, 7 PM EST.
April 22, 2025 at 12:17 AM
salmonking.bsky.social
God I need more pics but . You get it
The D&D alignment chart is shown. Kal, Cyr, and M'zhet are all clustered in the neutral good zone, with M'zhet closest to chaotic good. Remi is squarely in Lawful Neutral. Nenu, who is represented by a smudge of green with the word Nenu on it, is somewhere between Chaotic Neutral and Chaotic Evil.
April 14, 2025 at 7:49 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
The #soltavap trance overtook me again... i lov this feferi
April 13, 2025 at 11:36 PM
salmonking.bsky.social
JUST POSTED MY MAGNUM OPUS OF M'ZHET FUCKING!! WOOO

"Well?" M'zhet asks. "Are you ready to whip me into shape?"

Not for the first time on their adventures nor the last, Kalan'klyr and Valine exchange a look which says, in brief, "well, we can't NOT fuck him."
archiveofourown.org/works/64494049
Valine straddles M'zhet as he penetrates her from below. Her head is inclined toward Kal, who is looking up at her happily as Valine toys with him, her hand cut off by M'zhet's head. M'zhet's eyes half-close as he reaches up to grab Valine's hip, his ears pulled back in apparent ecstasy. Kal tips his head up to speak to Valine as she smirks down at M'zhet with a predatory expression on her face.
April 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM