reminiscing of a time when I was carefree, my body still worked properly, and a guy sniffed my pits like a feral pig on the dancefloor at arq. those were the days.

Check this mornings flight - it’s terminal 3 😐

Tears of the Kingdom switch cartridge gone missing 😟

Get to airport early 🙁

Gets swab tested ☹️

Sets off the swab detection 😣

Hurts to lift feet over and over for multiple repeated swabs 😫

Coffee is $9 😭

Flight delayed

attempting a maccas run despite every joint in my lower body feeling like it’s going to break apart. nothing gets between me and the mcnugget

what if I walked to maccas and bought a second frozen coke zero

first tinder match in a week unmatched me before i could even say hello 😭

my kingdom for some salt on my kfc chips

i have been arrested by the Erskineville gendarmerie for wearing kmart thongs instead of birkenstocks

people who select “real estate” as one of their interest tags on tinder don’t deserve love

every single maccas run I have attempted this past week has been thwarted by a freak storm… I just want a fucking mcnugget

pov: you’re about to get pissed on by a bat for the third time in a fortnight

the number of people who tell me that I “seem a lot shorter online than in person” is extremely distressing

living in a leafy, tree-lined part of the city is great until you get pissed on by bats for the second time in a week. right in the eye this time. if there is a god, and he’s testing me, could it please just involve less bat urine?