My 7 y/o seeing the news of wild fires in LA: “At least they’re warm in winter!”

We’ve reached peak toxic positivity

I love that the sandwich was invented by the *4th* Earl of Sandwich. Three previous Earls of Sandwich had the opportunity to figure out how to put meat and cheese between bread and just could not make it happen.

Charlie Kelly could write the lyrics to Spoonman, but Chris Cornell could never explain Pepe Silvia

Code-switching for a middle aged woman is saying “I just read this article…” when you really mean “I just watched this video…”

Iron & Wine’s cover of Such Great Heights is so goddam emo I could die. That’s a skip.

There should be a phrase similar to Montezuma's revenge to describe what happens the day after you eat a dozen buffalo wings

Drake, just because a bunch of pedophiles are getting jobs in the government doesn’t mean you can suddenly do stop the steal stuff

M’lady is short for meme lady

M’lord is short for meme lord

Not sure what age I’ll stop asking to my son “poo-poos??” as he scrambles upstairs with his iPad, but it isn’t 12

Hate to admit, but we might actually be safer under Trump. He’s already rounding up the nations worst sexual predators (for his cabinet, but a start 🤷🏻‍♀️)

There he is!

<*Spin Doctors voice*>

One, two wolves are inside you

Trying over and over to explain the plot of Terminator 2: Judgment Day to my 7 year old and he is just not getting it 🙄