@row-crow.bsky.social
I'm bad with computers, hate talking on the phone, and generally don't like people. So naturally, I got a job where I use a computer, and talk on the phone to people.
Listen, I know this is old news but it could NOT have been Berenstain Bears cuz 1st of all, it looks dumb as shit, and 2nd of all, my friends and I would not have argued about the pronunciation if that was the spelling. That's an unambiguous spelling. Even for 7 year olds.
January 27, 2026 at 12:33 AM
Listen, I know this is old news but it could NOT have been Berenstain Bears cuz 1st of all, it looks dumb as shit, and 2nd of all, my friends and I would not have argued about the pronunciation if that was the spelling. That's an unambiguous spelling. Even for 7 year olds.
Me: tries to point out toy to cat.
Cat: looks at finger.
Cat: looks at finger.
January 26, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Me: tries to point out toy to cat.
Cat: looks at finger.
Cat: looks at finger.
Husband complains that I keep saving jars, then proceeds to use the jars to drink out of, then complain that *I* don't wash them after he uses every single jar instead of rinsing them out and reusing them. At the same time, he reuses the same coffee cup until it's absolutely disgusting.
January 26, 2026 at 2:33 PM
Husband complains that I keep saving jars, then proceeds to use the jars to drink out of, then complain that *I* don't wash them after he uses every single jar instead of rinsing them out and reusing them. At the same time, he reuses the same coffee cup until it's absolutely disgusting.
Hey President Dumbass! If you want good polls, do good things. Not just for yourself and your buddies, but for actual people.
January 25, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Hey President Dumbass! If you want good polls, do good things. Not just for yourself and your buddies, but for actual people.
Reposted
Trump has lost his mind. His speeches are insane, misspelled ravings about the 2020 election, filled with bad grammar and shotgun caps. If this guy were a mayor in Anytown, USA, he would be told politely but firmly to surrender the gavel and get medical help.
January 22, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Trump has lost his mind. His speeches are insane, misspelled ravings about the 2020 election, filled with bad grammar and shotgun caps. If this guy were a mayor in Anytown, USA, he would be told politely but firmly to surrender the gavel and get medical help.
I don't especially like the idea of AI child porn, but I'd rather they look at that, than exploit and abuse real children.
January 21, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I don't especially like the idea of AI child porn, but I'd rather they look at that, than exploit and abuse real children.
Could someone just "accidentally" leave a couple marbles on the stairs, maybe a toy truck in the hallway? That would be great.
January 21, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Could someone just "accidentally" leave a couple marbles on the stairs, maybe a toy truck in the hallway? That would be great.
I love my job. I decided yesterday that I wanted tomorrow off. I put in my request yesterday afternoon. I get up this morning to find it approved. There was no haggling, no begging, no excuses. No discussion. Just approved. And that's usually how it is there.
January 21, 2026 at 2:46 PM
I love my job. I decided yesterday that I wanted tomorrow off. I put in my request yesterday afternoon. I get up this morning to find it approved. There was no haggling, no begging, no excuses. No discussion. Just approved. And that's usually how it is there.
Discovered a new potential cure for hiccups, quite by accident. I get them chronically, and it really inhibits my ability to do my job, which involves talking on the phone all day. So I tried to find creative ways to talk thru them w/o sounding like a jackass. The fix I found stopped them instantly.
January 20, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Discovered a new potential cure for hiccups, quite by accident. I get them chronically, and it really inhibits my ability to do my job, which involves talking on the phone all day. So I tried to find creative ways to talk thru them w/o sounding like a jackass. The fix I found stopped them instantly.
Reposted
Are you listening, GOP? Use your authority. Check the mad king.
January 20, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Are you listening, GOP? Use your authority. Check the mad king.
This is getting serious. Congress: If ever there was a time for Impeachment, it's NOW. Don't wait on the 25th. It's never gonna happen. What Trump's doing now is EXACTLY what Impeachment is for. And you better at least have articles ready Vance, too.
January 20, 2026 at 6:42 PM
This is getting serious. Congress: If ever there was a time for Impeachment, it's NOW. Don't wait on the 25th. It's never gonna happen. What Trump's doing now is EXACTLY what Impeachment is for. And you better at least have articles ready Vance, too.
Got my cat some talking buttons and was disheartened to find he wasn't even curious to touch it to see what it did. In fact he was afraid of it. But today, 2 weeks later, he pressed the Treat button, unprompted. There may be hope for this cat after all.
January 18, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Got my cat some talking buttons and was disheartened to find he wasn't even curious to touch it to see what it did. In fact he was afraid of it. But today, 2 weeks later, he pressed the Treat button, unprompted. There may be hope for this cat after all.
Americans get a lot of things wrong. But we're right about gendering objects. That's dumb.
January 17, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Americans get a lot of things wrong. But we're right about gendering objects. That's dumb.
Cat is mad. He wants to play. But he doesn't wanna bring me the toy. He wants me to go get it. It's literally right there. He stared at it for a good 10 seconds, as if willing it to move, then went to his pillow and flopped down angrily, swishing his tail and glaring at me.
January 10, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Cat is mad. He wants to play. But he doesn't wanna bring me the toy. He wants me to go get it. It's literally right there. He stared at it for a good 10 seconds, as if willing it to move, then went to his pillow and flopped down angrily, swishing his tail and glaring at me.
Honestly, that was already silly in 2007. But it's 2025. At this point, you're behind if you're still using a physical card. I don't even know why checks are still a thing.
If you're still writing checks 1/4 way into the 21st Century, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop it. There's no excuse for that shit unless you're trying to spend money you don't have. If you have a bank account, you have the equivalent of a credit card. STOP WRITING CHECKS, YOU STUBBORN ASSHOLE!
January 10, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Honestly, that was already silly in 2007. But it's 2025. At this point, you're behind if you're still using a physical card. I don't even know why checks are still a thing.
Picture the Jeff Goldblum meme from Jurassic Park. Now picture him as a shorthaired tuxedo cat. That's my cat. Like all the time. It's weird.
January 10, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Picture the Jeff Goldblum meme from Jurassic Park. Now picture him as a shorthaired tuxedo cat. That's my cat. Like all the time. It's weird.
If you're still writing checks 1/4 way into the 21st Century, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop it. There's no excuse for that shit unless you're trying to spend money you don't have. If you have a bank account, you have the equivalent of a credit card. STOP WRITING CHECKS, YOU STUBBORN ASSHOLE!
January 8, 2026 at 1:37 PM
If you're still writing checks 1/4 way into the 21st Century, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop it. There's no excuse for that shit unless you're trying to spend money you don't have. If you have a bank account, you have the equivalent of a credit card. STOP WRITING CHECKS, YOU STUBBORN ASSHOLE!
I keep seeing non-Americans ask the question, "Why are Americans so obsessed with ice." I'll answer that question with a few of my own. Why are other countries so obsessed with the notion that Americans like their cold drinks cold? Why are other countries so afraid of frozen water?
January 4, 2026 at 11:53 PM
I keep seeing non-Americans ask the question, "Why are Americans so obsessed with ice." I'll answer that question with a few of my own. Why are other countries so obsessed with the notion that Americans like their cold drinks cold? Why are other countries so afraid of frozen water?
I wouldn't mind paying a bit more for razors if they were, say, flexible. Figure out how to make them bend, to form to the shape of the thing you're shaving. I'd buy that. But I'm tired of cutting my round knees on a straight razor.
January 1, 2026 at 11:50 PM
I wouldn't mind paying a bit more for razors if they were, say, flexible. Figure out how to make them bend, to form to the shape of the thing you're shaving. I'd buy that. But I'm tired of cutting my round knees on a straight razor.
There's more to making a product for women than just making it pink. Women's razors, for instance. Besides the color, they're exactly like men's razors, but they shouldn't be. Faces aren't the same shape as legs and armpits. The razors shouldn't be the same either.
January 1, 2026 at 11:45 PM
There's more to making a product for women than just making it pink. Women's razors, for instance. Besides the color, they're exactly like men's razors, but they shouldn't be. Faces aren't the same shape as legs and armpits. The razors shouldn't be the same either.
Dear NYC: Please buy more ambulances and hire more emt's so my subscribers don't have to wait an hour when they're having chest pains and trouble breathing. Thanks, Me.
December 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Dear NYC: Please buy more ambulances and hire more emt's so my subscribers don't have to wait an hour when they're having chest pains and trouble breathing. Thanks, Me.
If your junk looks like an eggplant, you need to go the doctor.
December 21, 2025 at 1:18 PM
If your junk looks like an eggplant, you need to go the doctor.
Jack In The Box egg rolls are underrated.
December 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Jack In The Box egg rolls are underrated.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
December 3, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
Republicans in Congress: If you want to save face for the Midterms, don't resign. Impeach. Every Dem will vote for it. You only need a few R's in each Chamber. Sure, you'll lose MAGA loyalists, but Dems won't get them either. Meanwhile, you'll gain Independents, and maybe peel off a few Democrats.
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Republicans in Congress: If you want to save face for the Midterms, don't resign. Impeach. Every Dem will vote for it. You only need a few R's in each Chamber. Sure, you'll lose MAGA loyalists, but Dems won't get them either. Meanwhile, you'll gain Independents, and maybe peel off a few Democrats.