Karen Rontowski
@rontowski.bsky.social
Standup.Tarot Reader.
Captain of the Orion Interplanetary Army
Captain of the Orion Interplanetary Army
I don’t do witchcraft. I feel like I’m more witchcraft adjacent.
I don’t use Eye of Newt.
Only Ear of Newt.
I don’t use Eye of Newt.
Only Ear of Newt.
November 19, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I don’t do witchcraft. I feel like I’m more witchcraft adjacent.
I don’t use Eye of Newt.
Only Ear of Newt.
I don’t use Eye of Newt.
Only Ear of Newt.
My father passed away 2 years ago so now when I open a portal in my apartment I hear him yell , What are you hearing the whole Universe now?”
November 18, 2025 at 3:13 PM
My father passed away 2 years ago so now when I open a portal in my apartment I hear him yell , What are you hearing the whole Universe now?”
For women both porn and murder start the same way
With a man coming to your house to fix something.
With a man coming to your house to fix something.
November 17, 2025 at 3:28 PM
For women both porn and murder start the same way
With a man coming to your house to fix something.
With a man coming to your house to fix something.
I put a bunch of compression bags in a compression bag and then compress them.
There is now a black hole in my apartment
There is now a black hole in my apartment
November 15, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I put a bunch of compression bags in a compression bag and then compress them.
There is now a black hole in my apartment
There is now a black hole in my apartment
Hey Dan Bongino, I warned you! I thought you had a soul and we’re gonna see this coming but you’re going down
November 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Hey Dan Bongino, I warned you! I thought you had a soul and we’re gonna see this coming but you’re going down
So Epstein talked about Trump walking into the glass at the Hawaii Hawaiian tropic contest?
Let’s start the list
1. Hawaiian Tropic
Let’s start the list
1. Hawaiian Tropic
November 13, 2025 at 3:34 PM
So Epstein talked about Trump walking into the glass at the Hawaii Hawaiian tropic contest?
Let’s start the list
1. Hawaiian Tropic
Let’s start the list
1. Hawaiian Tropic
Hey Trump, you know it’s bad when Jeffrey Epstein says you’re a bad guy
November 13, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Hey Trump, you know it’s bad when Jeffrey Epstein says you’re a bad guy
The plot thickens! The more that comes out about the Epstein files the less power just Lanie has to get her pardon so the pressure is on! If she wants out, she has to blackmail him now
November 12, 2025 at 8:01 PM
The plot thickens! The more that comes out about the Epstein files the less power just Lanie has to get her pardon so the pressure is on! If she wants out, she has to blackmail him now
If a cop pulls me over, I’m going to say, “isn’t this however horror movie starts with a New York license plate getting pulled over on a Texas freeway? “
November 11, 2025 at 3:23 PM
If a cop pulls me over, I’m going to say, “isn’t this however horror movie starts with a New York license plate getting pulled over on a Texas freeway? “
So if they end this shut down, which I hope they do, doesn’t Mike Johnson have to swear in the congresswoman from Arizona who would be the deciding vote on releasing the Epstein files?
It’s getting sticky!
It’s getting sticky!
November 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM
So if they end this shut down, which I hope they do, doesn’t Mike Johnson have to swear in the congresswoman from Arizona who would be the deciding vote on releasing the Epstein files?
It’s getting sticky!
It’s getting sticky!
Driving cross country is so beautiful and opening my eyes to new experiences
The hard part is finding new places to bury bodies
The hard part is finding new places to bury bodies
November 10, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Driving cross country is so beautiful and opening my eyes to new experiences
The hard part is finding new places to bury bodies
The hard part is finding new places to bury bodies
The temperature control in my hotel only has two settings.
Cool and Afghanistan
Cool and Afghanistan
November 7, 2025 at 1:37 PM
The temperature control in my hotel only has two settings.
Cool and Afghanistan
Cool and Afghanistan
Anyone else feel like it’s just getting way too creepy in America? And I don’t mean Halloween.
November 1, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Anyone else feel like it’s just getting way too creepy in America? And I don’t mean Halloween.
Some days I wake up with so much anxiety and then I remember… statute of limitations!!
Whew!
Whew!
October 31, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Some days I wake up with so much anxiety and then I remember… statute of limitations!!
Whew!
Whew!
People go to Vegas and say hey, there’s gonna be gambling drinking and hookers!
Let’s bring the kids!
Let’s bring the kids!
October 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM
People go to Vegas and say hey, there’s gonna be gambling drinking and hookers!
Let’s bring the kids!
Let’s bring the kids!
If you’re not going to parent your child at the airport, I am and you don’t want that. By the time I’m done, they will be on a no fly list for life.
October 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM
If you’re not going to parent your child at the airport, I am and you don’t want that. By the time I’m done, they will be on a no fly list for life.
Comics conversations:
ME: What’s the funniest STD? Is it chlamydia?
BRIAN: well they’re all funny, but that might be the best one
ME: What’s the funniest STD? Is it chlamydia?
BRIAN: well they’re all funny, but that might be the best one
October 25, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Comics conversations:
ME: What’s the funniest STD? Is it chlamydia?
BRIAN: well they’re all funny, but that might be the best one
ME: What’s the funniest STD? Is it chlamydia?
BRIAN: well they’re all funny, but that might be the best one
The “male loneliness epidemic” seems to have started a “male standing-too-close-at-the-airport epidemic
October 24, 2025 at 8:49 AM
The “male loneliness epidemic” seems to have started a “male standing-too-close-at-the-airport epidemic
A lot of psychics saw the destruction of the White House but thought it was coming from a foreign adversary
Who knew the call was coming from inside the house!
Who knew the call was coming from inside the house!
October 23, 2025 at 12:04 PM
A lot of psychics saw the destruction of the White House but thought it was coming from a foreign adversary
Who knew the call was coming from inside the house!
Who knew the call was coming from inside the house!
Today I decorated my lawn with fake gravestones that have the name of local kids parents on them!
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
October 22, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Today I decorated my lawn with fake gravestones that have the name of local kids parents on them!
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
The thing about the Trump poop video is it wasn’t supposed to be him shitting on everyone. He just pooped his pants so much. AI made it naturally.
October 21, 2025 at 2:30 PM
The thing about the Trump poop video is it wasn’t supposed to be him shitting on everyone. He just pooped his pants so much. AI made it naturally.