Herculean attempt by a man to cover something and put it in the fridge. More fun here! substack.com/@robertagale?

I HATE scents, and for days I was in that particular hell that reminded me of when greeting cards had those little sound chips that activated when opened and as a joke, people would pluck them out and hide them where they couldn’t be found until the lithium battery died and the victim went insane.

I had my car washed and when I got back in, it smelled like a cross between Axe Phoenix and Fabuloso (the national scent of Mexico!) It turns out they jammed a clip-on scent into a vent and my frantic attempts to remove it only resulted in that fucker getting stuck deeper until I couldn’t see it.

Compost or stew? It doesn't matter if you can't handle food touching. More phobic fun on this week's Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/my-husband...

Body parts falling off! Cactus, Koi, Epsom Salts of Death, fun with mammograms, cane scam, unwelcome masturbation, Ring-tailed Lemurs—it’s all here this week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It --always free and just once a week! robertagale.substack.com/p/its-always...

Last call for jumping strangers, insane dogs who demand their food be aerated with a fork, and an off-brand outdoor bistro set. Take the plunge and subscribe, damn it--it’s free forever! robertagale.substack.com/p/i-jumped-a...

Hey, ya old wrinks--get off your low-hanging ass and make an effective phone call about a petty gripe! A the secrets in the latest post in my Substack on humorous aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. Take a much-needed break from political news. robertagale.substack.com/p/effective-...

Sexism and fun at Spirit Halloween Part Two. Plus Napoleon and Oscar Wilde strike a pose and Lesbians tease me! This week’s holiday post on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-a...

Part two #Halloween #costumes blog post for "Pushing 70 Without Flooring It" is up on #Substack. Free forever to subscribe and only once a week. you don't need to subscribe to read.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-another-one-more-uno-mas

Latest post: Creative moms who were always making their own everything would spend weeks sewing some ornate costume that the other kids were secretly jealous of, but given the scant emotional health of the very young, they treated costume kid like a pariah. robertagale.substack.com/p/a-totally-...

Charging up the ol' NOAA weather radio for the upcoming Arizona Tsunami and stashing survival items: Toilet paper! Trader Joe's Mushroom Ravioli with Mushroom Truffle Sauce! Also shameless plug for my FREE-FOR-LIFE Substack on Comic Aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It robertagale.substack.com

In another world and circumstance,she would be a #supermodel. #Somalian displaced-persons camp/AP photo

When the going gets weird, the weird bake muffins.

Catalina State Park #Arizona #Desert #Tucson

Is there anything cuter than #goats clearing out a recharge basins at a water reclamation facility? #Tucson

Rokeach makes both #Hanukkah candles and Gefilte fish. Guess which one they make better? #Chanukah