Roberta Gale
@robertagale.bsky.social
Pushing 70 w/out Flooring It substacker. Decades behind a mic. Paranoid, yet practical. Dog lover. Condiment lover. Meditation. Medication. Talk a lot. Occasionally very funny. Post-doctorate in foulmouthery. https://robertagale.substack.com/
Why women’s #farts are scientifically deadlier than men’s, and why letting it rip might just save your #brain. New post up on Substack--always free!
Why Women Over 65 Must Fart or Lose Their Mind!
Plus: Stool Width, A Classic 1960's Bathroom Lament, And How to Write an Effective Doctor's Note
robertagale.substack.com
December 15, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Cotton-candy flavored drinks, Junior Mint and Tootsie Roll drinks, gum that tastes like rye bread— They’re all at the dollar store!
The Dollar Store: Where Failed Products Go to Die
Plus: Pre-OSHA Factory Tours, Costa Rican Phlegm, and Mole!
robertagale.substack.com
December 10, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Cotton-candy flavored drinks, Junior Mint and Tootsie Roll drinks, gum that tastes like rye bread— They’re all at the dollar store!
Get smashed on Nik-L-Nips and come with me to the seductive purgatory that IS the dollar store, where failed products die a mockable death and opportunities for humorous anecdotes are endless! Subscribe for free!
The Dollar Store: Where Failed Products Go to Die
Plus: Pre-OSHA Factory Tours, Costa Rican Phlegm, and Mole!
robertagale.substack.com
December 8, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Get smashed on Nik-L-Nips and come with me to the seductive purgatory that IS the dollar store, where failed products die a mockable death and opportunities for humorous anecdotes are endless! Subscribe for free!
Compost or stew? It doesn't matter if you can't handle food touching. More phobic fun on this week's Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/my-husband...
December 4, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Compost or stew? It doesn't matter if you can't handle food touching. More phobic fun on this week's Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/my-husband...
Some Elderporn for your viewing pleasure, and my latest post. Subscribe for free on Substack for once-a-week weird humor about aging!
My Husband Demands Chickenless Food That Doesn't Touch-- But I'm a Chicken-loving Chow Smusher!
Can Jail Food Trays Cure His Tragic Affliction and Save Our Marriage?
robertagale.substack.com
December 1, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Some Elderporn for your viewing pleasure, and my latest post. Subscribe for free on Substack for once-a-week weird humor about aging!
Get your ass out of the house and meet new friends to trash, look through stuff in my trunk, highfalutin bread at Walmart, and help me find Juju a home--he's the best dog ever! This week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It
I Wore a Homeless Guy's Coat, Walmart Baguettes, Heart Paddles, the Shit in My Car and Juju Needs to Sleep in Your Bed
And get off your ass and have a good time doing stuff!
robertagale.substack.com
November 29, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Get your ass out of the house and meet new friends to trash, look through stuff in my trunk, highfalutin bread at Walmart, and help me find Juju a home--he's the best dog ever! This week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It
I Wore a Homeless Guy's Coat, Walmart Baguettes, Heart Paddles, the Shit in My Car and Juju Needs to Sleep in Your Bed-my latest post on Substack. Free forever so why not subscribe? Only once a week--so it's less annoying!
I Wore a Homeless Guy's Coat, Walmart Baguettes, Heart Paddles, the Shit in My Car and Juju Needs to Sleep in Your Bed
And get off your ass and have a good time doing stuff!
robertagale.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I Wore a Homeless Guy's Coat, Walmart Baguettes, Heart Paddles, the Shit in My Car and Juju Needs to Sleep in Your Bed-my latest post on Substack. Free forever so why not subscribe? Only once a week--so it's less annoying!
Body parts falling off! Cactus, Koi, Epsom Salts of Death, fun with mammograms, cane scam, unwelcome masturbation, Ring-tailed Lemurs—it’s all here this week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It --always free and just once a week! robertagale.substack.com/p/its-always...
November 20, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Body parts falling off! Cactus, Koi, Epsom Salts of Death, fun with mammograms, cane scam, unwelcome masturbation, Ring-tailed Lemurs—it’s all here this week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It --always free and just once a week! robertagale.substack.com/p/its-always...
Louis C.K.,’s unwanted masturbating, body parts falling off, busting foot lumps with hammers, and old lady outings. What more could you ask for when you’re Pushing 70 Without Flooring It? Gen Z’s welcome if you can trash me with something better than “Hey, Boomer!"
It's always something: on foot lumps, cactus, koi, and Epsom salt that smells like Axe body spray
And the magical smelling gift of Ring-tailed lemurs!
robertagale.substack.com
November 17, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Louis C.K.,’s unwanted masturbating, body parts falling off, busting foot lumps with hammers, and old lady outings. What more could you ask for when you’re Pushing 70 Without Flooring It? Gen Z’s welcome if you can trash me with something better than “Hey, Boomer!"
Last call for jumping strangers, insane dogs who demand their food be aerated with a fork, and an off-brand outdoor bistro set. Take the plunge and subscribe, damn it--it’s free forever! robertagale.substack.com/p/i-jumped-a...
November 16, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Last call for jumping strangers, insane dogs who demand their food be aerated with a fork, and an off-brand outdoor bistro set. Take the plunge and subscribe, damn it--it’s free forever! robertagale.substack.com/p/i-jumped-a...
Jumping strangers, insane #dogs, an old lady—it’s all here! Latest post on #Substack on living life as a wrink (old person.) You don't need to subscribe to read, but I'd love it if you did. It's free and only once a week. #humor
I Jumped A Stranger While an Insane Dog Watched
Because I'm just that kind of wonderful wrink
robertagale.substack.com
November 10, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I find it ironic that churches collecting food to those who lost #SNAP benefits consist of the same folks who voted for the guy who's taken them away.
November 8, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I find it ironic that churches collecting food to those who lost #SNAP benefits consist of the same folks who voted for the guy who's taken them away.
Hey, ya old wrinks--get off your low-hanging ass and make an effective phone call about a petty gripe! A the secrets in the latest post in my Substack on humorous aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. Take a much-needed break from political news. robertagale.substack.com/p/effective-...
November 6, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Hey, ya old wrinks--get off your low-hanging ass and make an effective phone call about a petty gripe! A the secrets in the latest post in my Substack on humorous aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. Take a much-needed break from political news. robertagale.substack.com/p/effective-...
Want to effectively complain about a personal gripe? The secret in my latest blog post. Plus tripping, Jello molds, personal chairs in public places, and the hell of unincorporated areas. Subscribe and share with friends. It's always free and only once a week!
Results-Oriented Whining: Complaining to Officials About Stuff That Only Bothers You, but Pretending it Bothers Others, Too.
Plus tripping, Jello molds, and the hell of living in an unincorporated area.
robertagale.substack.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Want to effectively complain about a personal gripe? The secret in my latest blog post. Plus tripping, Jello molds, personal chairs in public places, and the hell of unincorporated areas. Subscribe and share with friends. It's always free and only once a week!
Sexism and fun at Spirit Halloween Part Two. Plus Napoleon and Oscar Wilde strike a pose and Lesbians tease me! This week’s holiday post on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-a...
October 29, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Sexism and fun at Spirit Halloween Part Two. Plus Napoleon and Oscar Wilde strike a pose and Lesbians tease me! This week’s holiday post on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-a...
Part two #Halloween #costumes blog post for "Pushing 70 Without Flooring It" is up on #Substack. Free forever to subscribe and only once a week. you don't need to subscribe to read.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-another-one-more-uno-mas
October 27, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Part two #Halloween #costumes blog post for "Pushing 70 Without Flooring It" is up on #Substack. Free forever to subscribe and only once a week. you don't need to subscribe to read.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-another-one-more-uno-mas
Latest post: Creative moms who were always making their own everything would spend weeks sewing some ornate costume that the other kids were secretly jealous of, but given the scant emotional health of the very young, they treated costume kid like a pariah. robertagale.substack.com/p/a-totally-...
October 22, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Latest post: Creative moms who were always making their own everything would spend weeks sewing some ornate costume that the other kids were secretly jealous of, but given the scant emotional health of the very young, they treated costume kid like a pariah. robertagale.substack.com/p/a-totally-...
Latest blog post: Spencer Gifts Halloween Sex sells for all ages—if you’re female. Plus no-show assholes, heather oatmeal is a color, and cheap fake it ground beef! It's free forever to subscribe, so please do- and share with friends if you like it!
A Totally Biased Old Person Romp Through Spirit Halloween
The company that once sold cups shaped like women's asses shows us you're never too young to look sexy! And another ADHD break.
robertagale.substack.com
October 20, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Latest blog post: Spencer Gifts Halloween Sex sells for all ages—if you’re female. Plus no-show assholes, heather oatmeal is a color, and cheap fake it ground beef! It's free forever to subscribe, so please do- and share with friends if you like it!
"I made sure to buy the end tuchus-holders, next to the fire escape, exit, stairs, bathroom, snack area, and within chatting distance of the usher..."
My latest story here, and it's all free...forever!
My latest story here, and it's all free...forever!
Turning Cheap Seats into Good Seats: Usher Schmoozing, Soft Mints, and Women's Empowerment
And the National Weather Service made me forget my raincoat, rendering me incapable of writing a catchy subtitle for this piece
robertagale.substack.com
October 17, 2025 at 3:24 AM
"I made sure to buy the end tuchus-holders, next to the fire escape, exit, stairs, bathroom, snack area, and within chatting distance of the usher..."
My latest story here, and it's all free...forever!
My latest story here, and it's all free...forever!
You want the good seats but don't want to pay for them? Read this! Also--soft granny mint porn! My blog--Pushing 70 Without Flooring It-- is free (and always will be!) and only once a week. If you like it, please subscribe and share with others.
Turning Cheap Seats into Good Seats: Usher Schmoozing, Soft Mints, and Women's Empowerment
And the National Weather Service made me lose my raincoat, rendering me incapable of writing a catchy subtitle for this piece
robertagale.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 2:49 PM
You want the good seats but don't want to pay for them? Read this! Also--soft granny mint porn! My blog--Pushing 70 Without Flooring It-- is free (and always will be!) and only once a week. If you like it, please subscribe and share with others.
Charging up the ol' NOAA weather radio for the upcoming Arizona Tsunami and stashing survival items: Toilet paper! Trader Joe's Mushroom Ravioli with Mushroom Truffle Sauce! Also shameless plug for my FREE-FOR-LIFE Substack on Comic Aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It robertagale.substack.com
October 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Charging up the ol' NOAA weather radio for the upcoming Arizona Tsunami and stashing survival items: Toilet paper! Trader Joe's Mushroom Ravioli with Mushroom Truffle Sauce! Also shameless plug for my FREE-FOR-LIFE Substack on Comic Aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It robertagale.substack.com
My latest story on Substack--no more closet condiment eating! Some humor as a brief respite from political news. Please subscribe and share if you like it. It's free and always will be, and it's only once a week.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/i-was-a-closet-condiment-addict
October 6, 2025 at 1:59 PM
My latest story on Substack--no more closet condiment eating! Some humor as a brief respite from political news. Please subscribe and share if you like it. It's free and always will be, and it's only once a week.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/i-was-a-closet-condiment-addict
Getting mellower with age? Nah! Latest post--subscribe--it's free and fun!
No kid, you don't get mellower as you get older...
there's just no teachers around to punish you for being hyper and annoying!
robertagale.substack.com
September 29, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Getting mellower with age? Nah! Latest post--subscribe--it's free and fun!
Latest Substack post. Getting mellow with age? I don't think so! Subscribe and share with your friends if you like what you read. It's free and only once a week.
Pushing 70 Without Flooring It | Roberta Gale | Substack
I'm almost 70 and still hyper. Paranoid, yet practical. Dog lover. Meditation. Medication. Talk a lot. Occasionally very funny. Post-doctorate in foulmouthery. "Representative. REPRESENTATIVE! Click t...
robertagale.substack.com
September 29, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Latest Substack post. Getting mellow with age? I don't think so! Subscribe and share with your friends if you like what you read. It's free and only once a week.
Old but still still have your sense of #humor and #snark --about yourself? Check out ageing my way #funny #oldpeople #women robertagale.substack.com
Pushing 70 Without Flooring It | Roberta Gale | Substack
I'm almost 70 and still hyper. Paranoid, yet practical. Dog lover. Meditation. Medication. Talk a lot. Occasionally very funny. Post-doctorate in foulmouthery. "Representative. REPRESENTATIVE! Click t...
robertagale.substack.com
September 24, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Old but still still have your sense of #humor and #snark --about yourself? Check out ageing my way #funny #oldpeople #women robertagale.substack.com