It’s much easier to teach a dog a trick when his penis is locked up and isn’t a distraction. Scoot’s simple doggy mind is easily overloaded, especially when he’s performing in front of an audience. It’s the doggy version of not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Someone just asked me, “What’s with all the monkeys in your images?” Well, for one thing, the natural cartoon hierarchy goes: monkey, mouse, dog. Besides, those furry critters work for bananas. And in these tough economic times, us pup parents need all the help we can get.

Expensive helper monkeys became unnecessary about a year ago when the AI pup sitter shock collar came on the market. It’s no substitute for a flesh-and-blood master, but when I treat myself to an occasional afternoon at the day spa, I like to be Scoot-free.

It’s hard to believe I used to depict Scoot with an unlocked penis and sometimes even sporting an erection. What was I thinking? I’m surprised I didn’t name him Rocket because of his big, red doggy boner. He’s so much happier with that nasty part of his body under lock and key.

I suspect my sweet Scoot is being excluded from the pantheon of famous cartoon canines just because I depict him with genitals. I think having his penis locked securely in a cage is enough of a sacrifice for propriety. Scoot just wouldn't be Scoot without his big, swinging balls.

Spooky season makes me think of this video I made last year - a self-portrait as a Scooby Doo villain.