Rohan Salmond
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rjsalmond.bsky.social
Rohan Salmond
@rjsalmond.bsky.social
740 followers 260 following 1.5K posts
I’ll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero. 🎙️ Religion specialist and producer on Soul Search on Radio National. Sydney-based 🏳️‍🌈 he/him

My newsletter is called Modern Relics! 🖥️💀🙏 modernrelics.email
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rjsalmond.bsky.social
Do you have particular Pokémon you always give the same nickname? If I catch a Ghastly, its name is ALWAYS Cheesecake
Gen 1 Pokemon running on a Trimui Brick. Status screen for a Gengar called Cheesecake, level 39. OT/ ROBOAT
November 16, 2025 at 7:22 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Summer lewk
A photo of me taken at a high angle wearing shorts, high-top canvas shoes, a sunglasses, a baseball cap and a tie-dyed sleeveless shirt with “House of Darwin” written on it in a zany 80s/90s font where some of the letters are replaced with smiley suns and yin/yang symbols and a smiling mushroom A photo of me taken in a mirror wearing shorts, high-top canvas shoes, a sunglasses, a baseball cap and a tie-dyed sleeveless shirt with “House of Darwin” written on it in a zany 80s/90s font where some of the letters are replaced with smiley suns and yin/yang symbols and a smiling mushroom. I’m throwing a peace sign Edited four panel Peanuts comic. Panel 1: Boy looking at a dog in a huge winter jacket. Boy thinks to himself “Man I wish I had that guy’s fits”. Panel 2: Close up of the boy thinking “But he probably wished he had somebody else’s fits”. Panel 3: The dog thinks to himself “Holy shit i’m getting a fit off”. Panel 4: The dog continues, “That guy Looks like shit”
November 14, 2025 at 2:02 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Take me back to the weekend 😭
A group of smiling gay men surrounding a very tall, smiling drag queen wearing a sparkling dress A man in makeup wearing a frilly white bodysuit singing his heart out into a microphone A crowd of people watching a band on a stage. A man is holding his arms up and another is holding a guitar Picture of me taken from a high angle so you can see I’m wearing shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. I have a tablet computer displaying a book and there is a beer and foldable keyboard on the table in front of me
November 11, 2025 at 3:55 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
To be clear, I genuinely love this bar. But what the fuck is going on with this happy hour poster
A poster with a big cartoon beer on it advertising Happy Hour Monday to Friday $8. There are two emojis, one looking smug and shrugging, and the other superimposed on the beer looking cross-eyed and with its tongue hanging out. Gooning??
November 9, 2025 at 4:45 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Still somehow Carlo
Me in a red singlet wearing aviator sunglasses on my face, wire halo framing my natural hair, skin fade on the sides
November 2, 2025 at 3:40 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
When you have a Halloween party on All Saints Day you can actually do both
Me, in a red hoodie and short black wig, holding a laptop computer in one hand and holding the other up like a saint in an icon. I have an aviator sunglasses tucked into the neck of the hoodie and a wire halo framing my head. Saint Carlo Acutis standing with his hands on his hips wearing his iconic red shirt with aviator sun glasses tucked in the neck.
November 2, 2025 at 3:40 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
I’ve never even cost the organisation $2.5 million in legal fees!
ABC News headline “ABC spent more than $2.5m defending legal action from Antoinette Lattouf” Subhead: “Hugh Marks said the ABC might need to return to court for another costs hearing, meaning the expense could still rise.”
October 31, 2025 at 10:51 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
This dude got paid more in eight months than I’ve been paid in more than eight years working for the same employer
Guardian Australia screenshot that reads “ABC executive who sacked Antoinette Lattouf paid $836,000 for eight-month employment, annual report shows Chris Oliver-Taylor's remuneration exceeded by former managing director David Anderson's $1.2m package, broadcaster says”
October 31, 2025 at 10:45 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
My not-a-costume for going to the office today. MEMENTO MORI remember you will die happy Halloween!!
Me, smiling in a black t-shirt with all-caps MEMENTO MORI written on it with my husband in a normal button-up shirt. We are in a pub and there is beer on the table. Perhaps we have had a couple??
October 31, 2025 at 10:10 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
How good is not working lol
Me, a man wearing a button up shirt that’s unbuttoned as if for heart surgery, with necklace and hairy chest visible, smirking(?) while I hold a big beer.
October 11, 2025 at 5:27 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
lmaooo
An altered screenshot of a Sufjan Stevens quote, changed to say “UNITING CHURCH Opens Up About ITS Sensual Relationship With God: The Bible’s Very Gay”. The Uniting Church logo (Red dove flying on a black disc with a white cross and U) has been superimposed on Sufjan’s face
October 11, 2025 at 1:29 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Breaking: The Musical
A sign depicting a kangaroo dressed as a barrister with glasses, a lawyer’s wig and coat. Text reads “ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOW ARE FICTIONAL. EVEN THE ONES THAT SEEM LIKE THEY ARE NOT. THE ONES THAT SEEM LIKE THEY ARE SOMEONE REALLY SPECIFIC AND YOU ARE PRETTY SURE THEY ARE BASED ON SOMEONE REAL. ALSO THEIR NAME SOUNDS HEAPS LIKE THAT PERSONS NAME THAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS. NO! THEY ARE MADE UP TOO. EVERYTHING IS PRETEND. THIS ISN'T EVEN A REAL LAWYER. IT'S A KANGAROO.”
October 2, 2025 at 9:29 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
The rapture came early in Australia because of time zones and I went to heaven and this is what it looked like
Screen shot of the title screen from the 1990s Captain Bible game. A pixelated, lush green landscape has a black blob in the middle and a futuristic vehicle is shooting a laser at it. A futuristic spaceship flies overhead
September 23, 2025 at 8:56 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Suspicious transaction on my credit card and the bank won’t reissue a new one for over a week
An AI-generated kitten wearing a baby’s nappy with avocados on it. The kitten is in a bathroom and pouring a large bottle of cleaning solution into its own mouth
September 20, 2025 at 1:07 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Down at the servo you need anything?
Man with short hair and a moustache wearing a sleeveless shirt and a backpack, holding a tall boy of Coke Zero standing in front of an Ampol service station sign with all the prices of different petroleum
September 19, 2025 at 9:05 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Got a listener email saying “All this happened 2000 years ago and it’s been causing problems ever since” lmao amen sister
Jesus and the saints all gathered together with text superimposed saying “Causing problems for 2000 years”
September 18, 2025 at 5:57 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Even this AI-generated Byzantine-style fresco that looks nothing like him is identifiable because of the colour of his robes and the fact he’s on a laptop
An AI-generated Byzantine-style fresco of a young boy using a laptop. He is wearing traditional robes associated with saints and a pin with Jesus’ face on it. A large halo frames his head
September 7, 2025 at 8:35 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Carlo Acutis is being canonised today. It’s kind of cool how consistently he’s represented — red shirt or hoodie, laptop, aviator sunglasses. In the first pic here you know exactly who it is even without seeing his face
Painting of a person’s neck — he’s wearing a red polo shirt with aviator sunglasses tucked in the collar. A “T”-shaped tau cross necklace is around his neck. You cannot see his face Young boy in a red robe with a blue hood. He holds a keyboard, iPad and gaming controller. He has headphones around his neck and a halo shaped like a globe made out of computer code behind his head representing the World Wide Web A chibi-style image of a young g boy (Carlo Acutis) wearing a red polo shirt with aviator sunglasses in the collar and brown shorts and sneakers. He has a wire halo floating above his head
September 7, 2025 at 8:35 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
And how many warm days in a row until I shave it off
Me, a man with greying hair and, importantly, no moustache, holding a tropical cocktail. I am wearing the same floral shirt from the picture in the quoted post, which makes the two pictures comparable
September 3, 2025 at 5:18 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
I know it’s Fool’s Spring but…
Stick figure crying happy tears
August 27, 2025 at 6:52 AM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Feeling the cool change come through in northern Vietnam
Two panel screen grab from an anime — a pilot saying “I am a genius!” then saying “Oh no!”
August 6, 2025 at 3:24 PM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Just got back from Ha Long Bay. Can confirm it really is stunning. Miss it already
Smiling man wearing a bright orange singlet standing in front of a stunning landscape — sheer rock formations jutting out from still water Me (a smiling, exhausted man) standing at the top of a mountain. Ha Long Bay is in the distance, and many small beautiful islands stick out of the water. Tropical forest covers the mountains Me and my husband sitting in a kayak wearing life jackets. I’m smiling, James is sticking his tongue out. In the background is the iconic Halong Bay rock formations
August 6, 2025 at 1:57 PM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Highly recommend this bahn mi spot in Hanoi — the crispy pork is amazing. Also the man who works here is extremely handsome lol
A small bahn mi shop in Hanoi, Vietnam called “Bahn Mo Thit Nguoi Co Ba”. There’s a smiling face on the sign with rosy red cheeks and a neon sign says “Bahn Mi — Baozi — Juice”. Pictures of sandwiches are below that partially covered with Vietnamese flags
August 6, 2025 at 12:19 PM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Gotta say out of all the world’s flags, Vietnam’s slaps — top five easy
A Vietnamese flag (Five-pointed yellow star against a red background) adhered to the side of a building. You can see a fan and a balustrade among other street bits and pieces, but the flag is clear
August 2, 2025 at 1:02 PM
rjsalmond.bsky.social
Saw some really fucking cool drag last night
A drag queen dressed in a long flowing dress styled with rhinestones to resemble fish scales. She is singing into a microphone A drag king dancing energetically with his tongue sticking out. He is dressed in a latex, strappy body suit with huge puffed sleeves and assless chaps A glowing neon sign that says “R7” in a heptogon
August 2, 2025 at 9:15 AM