Oh sure… They warn you about the memory loss, the brain damage, the anxiety, the social withdrawal, the lung damage, the fatty liver… But does anyone ever warn you about the Bee Gees?!? Stupid anti-drug ads.

It does if you scrub hard enough

That’s the one that causes taint rot, right? No thanks!

And even 5% just gets you vinegar…

It’s the Home Bloodletting kits I’m waiting for

I was born with a star spangled butthole, and it just keeps getting more star spangled the older I get. I just don’t mention it too often in public - the line of patriots waiting to rail my sparkly star spangled ass is long enough as it is.

Don’t ask a question you don’t really want to know the answer to.

Sick. And wrong. Sick and wrong.

If you leave it around un-refrigerated long enough to ferment, though… *just* before it starts to get moldy, it’s really quite intoxicating.

Maybe, but I was well over 50 when I realized that it wasn’t Yankee Doodle’s feather nor his cap that he called ‘Macaroni’ - it was in fact his PONY.

Some of us are slow learners.

The new song by Kacey Musgraves!

My pronouns are ‘Z’ and ‘Z’.

They are called ‘Floridians’.

Mmmm, yum, grilled cheese. I bet you’d be great served with bacon.

Wow.