I know I don't seem the type but we're seeing Wicked Part 2

I've seen the musical twice. I enjoyed the recorded album of the Broadway cast.

That's when I looked around and saw them in the trees.

I wonder what they say to each other. That the food is out probably.

I hope they see me as a friend at the very least their well meaning ally.

My typical routine is to give the cat treats before I go outside to give the crows theirs. My regular couple they will float to the power line hearing me open the door. I make some tongue clicks so they know I'm outside. I say hi if there's any nearby crows.

Today after clicks, I heard their calls

I noticed they left the peel of one of the almonds which was interesting. Maybe from the ones that soak in the water.

They don't come at night though. Even though I leave things out. Morning and afternoon must be their routine!

I learned about make up, skin and hair care, how clothes would feel in comfort or performance. How to cut my and color my hair.

I can take those things with me. I don't hate those parts. I hate that I chose others perception over my own exploration.

I love who I am learning and becoming.

I just wanted to be me.

I tried so many things to be more feminine. I think I even achieved it at times.

But shrinking myself. Posing myself. Performing this.

I just wanted to be me.

And I am closer to that than ever now. I forgive that part of me. And I learned so much in that time.

Maybe when things settle out I'll get a beardy or something.

The python didn't need as much specification for the tank as the boa did but it's still a bit of work to keep up with their climate and making sure they have enough to eat.

Someday! Til then I got my kitty and the crows.

We had a blue eyed Lucy python and a rainbow Brazilian boa. The boa was well socialized and would just hang out in my lap when it was cage cleaning time. The Lucy wasn't as cuddly but wasn't aggressive just kind of a potato.

Sometimes I want another reptile but I don't have the resources.

The child needed protection.

The teenager needed wider risk tolerance.

I can give that to them. I can forgive them. I can shelter them. I can hold them close.

Maybe I am the sum of a tomorrow not promised or guaranteed. A tomorrow I've yet to discover and be enthralled.

When I was a teacher I learned much about patience.

I learn patience with all the aminal friends in my life.

Why can't I give myself that grace?

The grace to make mistakes. The grace to learn. The grace to ask for help when I need it.

Sleeping on his smoke scented recliner.

We didn't have much but those memories I was the happiest kid.

Maybe that's why it's so sentimental. The happy memories. The difficult and tearing memories. The layers of intimacy in the broadest and simplest terms of it.

But even the trace smell walking by someone on the sidewalk takes me back to those moments on this giant rug, playing with matchbox cars. Using his old type writer. Playing with simple things: pens, highlighters and a legal pad; 3 colors of play dough in their smallest containers.