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tweeting quotes from @redvalleypod.bsky.social every 30 minutes | run by @petrichauri.bsky.social
GORDON: That track was called Morior Invictus. It's about galloping towards a glorious death.
December 1, 2025 at 10:35 PM
GORDON: That track was called Morior Invictus. It's about galloping towards a glorious death.
CLIVE: I didn't pick Uncle Fucknut the piss fiend.
December 1, 2025 at 10:00 PM
CLIVE: I didn't pick Uncle Fucknut the piss fiend.
GORDON: Eyyy! It's only bloody Christmas Eve! Hi, Warren. Thought I'd come down and spend some of the evening with you.,
December 1, 2025 at 9:28 PM
GORDON: Eyyy! It's only bloody Christmas Eve! Hi, Warren. Thought I'd come down and spend some of the evening with you.,
WARREN: But how else would it feed, Gordon. It needs to feed. And it only eats...archivists.
GORDON: Shut up.
GORDON: Shut up.
December 1, 2025 at 8:50 PM
WARREN: But how else would it feed, Gordon. It needs to feed. And it only eats...archivists.
GORDON: Shut up.
GORDON: Shut up.
SOPHIA: The song is called Morior Invictus.
CLIVE: What?
SOPHIA: It means Death Before Defeat.
CLIVE: What?
SOPHIA: It means Death Before Defeat.
December 1, 2025 at 8:17 PM
SOPHIA: The song is called Morior Invictus.
CLIVE: What?
SOPHIA: It means Death Before Defeat.
CLIVE: What?
SOPHIA: It means Death Before Defeat.
AUBREY: Wood, Aubrey Jane.
December 1, 2025 at 7:41 PM
AUBREY: Wood, Aubrey Jane.
WARREN: Imagine a prison where you don't need to spend any money on living standards. No food, no clothes, no cells. No security! No one’s getting shivved. You put a murderer in cryonic storage, pop him on a shelf, you can forget about him for about 20 years.
December 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM
WARREN: Imagine a prison where you don't need to spend any money on living standards. No food, no clothes, no cells. No security! No one’s getting shivved. You put a murderer in cryonic storage, pop him on a shelf, you can forget about him for about 20 years.
WARREN: Yep… I just want to take a moment to say that this is the most Gordon Porlock thing that has ever happened.
December 1, 2025 at 6:31 PM
WARREN: Yep… I just want to take a moment to say that this is the most Gordon Porlock thing that has ever happened.
AUBREY: I'm Aubrey Wood. I used to work here. How do you do?
December 1, 2025 at 5:57 PM
AUBREY: I'm Aubrey Wood. I used to work here. How do you do?
AUBREY: Anything I thought was useful. And one tortoise in a tupperware.
December 1, 2025 at 5:28 PM
AUBREY: Anything I thought was useful. And one tortoise in a tupperware.
WARREN: You're on the ropes. You fuck this up and you are dead to me. I’m gonna hang up the phone and I’m gonna piss on it.
December 1, 2025 at 4:54 PM
WARREN: You're on the ropes. You fuck this up and you are dead to me. I’m gonna hang up the phone and I’m gonna piss on it.
WARREN: If I'd been built like He-Man I wouldn't have backed down, I would've broken their faces. I wasn't better, I was weaker.
December 1, 2025 at 4:20 PM
WARREN: If I'd been built like He-Man I wouldn't have backed down, I would've broken their faces. I wasn't better, I was weaker.
CLIVE: Okay so like, do you need me to study anything, like… do I have to know anything before...
PAMELA: What do you want to know?
CLIVE: I don't know like, the stewardess always has important information before a flight.
PAMELA: What do you want to know?
CLIVE: I don't know like, the stewardess always has important information before a flight.
December 1, 2025 at 3:44 PM
CLIVE: Okay so like, do you need me to study anything, like… do I have to know anything before...
PAMELA: What do you want to know?
CLIVE: I don't know like, the stewardess always has important information before a flight.
PAMELA: What do you want to know?
CLIVE: I don't know like, the stewardess always has important information before a flight.
CLIVE: That night at Red Valley. I thought… I thought I was going to die that night, Pam. Alone in the dark. And then you were there. And, you held my hand.
PAMELA: Are you gonna cry? Cause I don't know how to deal with that.
PAMELA: Are you gonna cry? Cause I don't know how to deal with that.
December 1, 2025 at 3:09 PM
CLIVE: That night at Red Valley. I thought… I thought I was going to die that night, Pam. Alone in the dark. And then you were there. And, you held my hand.
PAMELA: Are you gonna cry? Cause I don't know how to deal with that.
PAMELA: Are you gonna cry? Cause I don't know how to deal with that.
AUBREY: I know. It's just quieter down here.
December 1, 2025 at 2:36 PM
AUBREY: I know. It's just quieter down here.
CLIVE: Hey, I don't make the rules. I just threaten people until they follow them.
December 1, 2025 at 2:02 PM
CLIVE: Hey, I don't make the rules. I just threaten people until they follow them.
WARREN: You're gonna be here, when I get out?
GORDON: Always am.
GORDON: Always am.
December 1, 2025 at 1:25 PM
WARREN: You're gonna be here, when I get out?
GORDON: Always am.
GORDON: Always am.
GRACE TAKES WARREN'S HAND AND SHAKES IT HARD, AND CLAPS ANOTHER HAND ON WARREN'S SHOULDER.
GRACE: You look great.
WARREN: So do you. How have you got better looking?
GRACE: You look great.
WARREN: So do you. How have you got better looking?
December 1, 2025 at 12:53 PM
GRACE TAKES WARREN'S HAND AND SHAKES IT HARD, AND CLAPS ANOTHER HAND ON WARREN'S SHOULDER.
GRACE: You look great.
WARREN: So do you. How have you got better looking?
GRACE: You look great.
WARREN: So do you. How have you got better looking?
HESTER: Warren Godby had a crappy life the first time round. Maybe in 2064 he can make a better go of it. You're giving him the chance to make his own choices.
December 1, 2025 at 12:16 PM
HESTER: Warren Godby had a crappy life the first time round. Maybe in 2064 he can make a better go of it. You're giving him the chance to make his own choices.
WARREN PUTS IN THE TAPE. IMMEDIATELY AN EAR-BLEEDING METAL TRACK PLAYS.
December 1, 2025 at 11:43 AM
WARREN PUTS IN THE TAPE. IMMEDIATELY AN EAR-BLEEDING METAL TRACK PLAYS.
REBECCA: Watch her head.
CLIVE: I've got it.
REBECCA: Don't bang her head.
CLIVE: Oh, will I make it worse?
CLIVE: I've got it.
REBECCA: Don't bang her head.
CLIVE: Oh, will I make it worse?
December 1, 2025 at 11:06 AM
REBECCA: Watch her head.
CLIVE: I've got it.
REBECCA: Don't bang her head.
CLIVE: Oh, will I make it worse?
CLIVE: I've got it.
REBECCA: Don't bang her head.
CLIVE: Oh, will I make it worse?
BRYONY: This is making you uncomfortable, isn't it Gordon.
GORDON: Everything here makes me uncomfortable.
BRYONY: Keep telling yourself that, champ.
GORDON: Everything here makes me uncomfortable.
BRYONY: Keep telling yourself that, champ.
December 1, 2025 at 10:31 AM
BRYONY: This is making you uncomfortable, isn't it Gordon.
GORDON: Everything here makes me uncomfortable.
BRYONY: Keep telling yourself that, champ.
GORDON: Everything here makes me uncomfortable.
BRYONY: Keep telling yourself that, champ.
PAMELA: Jesus, the 90s called, they want their soft drugs back.
December 1, 2025 at 9:58 AM
PAMELA: Jesus, the 90s called, they want their soft drugs back.
WARREN: Literally none of that made sense. I'm contemplating having a panic attack, wh... what do you think?
December 1, 2025 at 9:28 AM
WARREN: Literally none of that made sense. I'm contemplating having a panic attack, wh... what do you think?
WARREN: About half an hour ago.
GORDON: When you were...
WARREN: Tipsy and preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog, yes. It went as well as you're imagining.
GORDON: When you were...
WARREN: Tipsy and preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog, yes. It went as well as you're imagining.
December 1, 2025 at 8:50 AM
WARREN: About half an hour ago.
GORDON: When you were...
WARREN: Tipsy and preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog, yes. It went as well as you're imagining.
GORDON: When you were...
WARREN: Tipsy and preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog, yes. It went as well as you're imagining.