the least you can do is just be there when im okay. i dont want any of you to care for me personally or emotionally.

i know you see me as someone who’s there who cares about you, that part is true. if everyone had the option to sleep forever, then i would do that with no worries, knowing that people with issues could do the same as me. i dont want any of you to pretend like you should care for me.

to make theirselves feel better. im such a big baby about all of this. im fine but at the same time im not. i dont want people to tell me what and how to think or their thoughts about this. besides, its a hassle to care for a mentally big baby, i wouldnt mind if you couldnt care.

from my online persona and just live as a gloomy, dull boring person who doesnt have friends and is only known by his family. i dont know anyone in the real world who would want me around, im such an awkward and gloomy person, i dont want to be around people for their sakes. they’d only want me near

i always want to make myself feel bad about myself, always feel like shit, i dont want things to ever be good for me, i always want to live and die alone and sad. why do i wanna be sad? i dont feel like i can trust anyone. i am a two-faced baby, i always felt like it was about me. i want to cut off

understand. i never feel grateful, every passing day makes me hate myself more and more due to my greed, my ego. do you have any idea how much pain i want myself to go through. i always kept this small bubble, slowly growing inside. why does the way i feel affect me? why am i breaking down now?

any way possible, i want people to look up to me, look at me, i feel like despite everything, i want to give up, cut ties from everyone and just live alone. why do i want to be alone forever, what is the meaning behind how this feel. people like me but i always want more, i always feel like i never

dread for the loss, i can celebrate your existence and keep memories of all of you close, but im still a child deep down, i want the best possible experience for all of you. i feel like i am dying, i am exploding, i am about to pass away, but i cant let it happen now. i must fight to see all of you.

i fear that i may lose you all, so i want to lose you all, but ensure that you all may stay safe and happy, it is my selfish request. i dont deserve any of this, i dont know what makes me say that, i hate being happy, i know that you may only enjoy life with both bad and good, but the good makes me

if i could tell my young self about what to do, i’d tell him that he’s right for not chasing those butterflies anymore. i want all of my friends to live their great perfect lives, even if it means that they forget me. i am content with living on my own, all alone. it is what i have been doing

about myself, but i care about what i feel. i never want to be sensitive, im not a softie, im not soft, i must protect everyone. save my friends. i love all of them, and especially the person who wanted me; you make me feel alive, this was the moment in my life i had been secretly waiting for

everyone, not just those whom i know, but everyone, theres a good inside everyone, its distorted. everyone i felt a great connection with, id give anything to protect. even if it means giving my life to make them never have to worry, then so be it, i only hope that they forget about me, i dont care

you should not worry for me, it is only my responsibility to worry about myself, a responsibility that i dont care much for. all of you, i care for all of you, i dont want any of you to live through cruel times, i dont want truly bad things to happen to you, id give anything for all of you

you have me too, but we barely get to spend time with each other, i have a great many things i want to say, but i feel like as if my feelings are irrelevant, i feel as if i still hate myself, i do feel that i dont deserve any of this. why am i like this. i am like this. i dont want anyone to worry

you show no signs of leaving though, yet i fear it all. im prepared for the day on when you win in your life, and leave me for your betterment. i love you, please dont love me for too long.

safe, you can be free of everything, and eventually me, if you see it as fit. you won’t have a use for me, we’re still young anyway, your obsession over me will die out. i have hope that you’ll be an amazing person, and you already are for me. i hate being selfish, so why do i love you? it pains me.

ill be boring, you will lose interest. as much as i truly do fear and dread it. i hope you leave me to be happier, i want you to be safe, and i do the best i can to do so. i feel like im not doing enough as i can, i want to help you more than my limit, i want you to be safe. when you do become

of myself and become boring, it tells me that ill hurt the people i want to help. i fear that i may lose you, the inner part of me fears to be left alone again. my heart feels a great flood everytime i think about it. when you do eventually leave me, when youre eventually safe, you’ll be bored of me