That's a lot of F's. F for Failure. Sheesh. That reminds me of that Fateful day again.

So many F's on these sentences but nobody gives an F. Fun intended.

The only difference is that I was 17 back then, I'm 23 now. I'm getting old every day. No point to mourn what was permanently lost.

I'll just remain solitary though, no matter the cost. I've tried being social and it always went horribly and I always lose someone down the line.

Yeah. I think I should preemptively expect I will lose someone the moment they make a relationship with me, may it be friends, a girlfriend, a best friend, etc.

After all, they don't owe me anything. There's probably a ton of people out there that are a better company than me.

But if it's going to be this way, where I'll lose everyone at some point, I better get ready.

When I lost "that friendly bear", I was sort of preparing myself to lose him anyway, so it didn't hit as much as that betrayal from my ex best friends some 6 years ago. That one was just out of nowhere.

I see both the benefits of being solitary and social. I can only have one yet my brain wants both. I believe it is possible to have both, but I guess I should be prepared to lose people over and over again because of my tendency to be solitary.

Honestly, I don't want to lose anyone

Research can only do so much. I think the key to have friends is to be interesting in the first place. Welp, I'm not an interesting person, and I don't advertise myself to be interesting.

Idk, solitary nature and social nature are conflicting.

As much as I like to forget and move on, I think about him more. I wish I have that lot of company, even if it's on the internet, but I don't deserve it. I'm tired of being mad at my friendless situation because even if I'm angry, idk how to keep a friendship going

*sigh* What a waste. All I can do is sigh, as I keep losing relationships. It may be for the best, but it still hurts, kinda.

Deep down, I could really use some help, from people like him There's no doubt I'll lose my job again by the end of this year. Idk what I'm gonna tell to my parents.

*sigh*

Nor will I feel hurt over and over again when the friendship ends because of misunderstandings, internal conflict, or the relationship just doesn't work and it "wilts".

I wish we could've talked it out, but his bans are a statement that he doesn't want to deal with me anymore, and I understand.

I guess I should be careful when I foester "long-term relationships" on the internet because I can lose them like that in a snap to a series of toots..

Or I should probably not make any relationship at all. Idk, it's a loooong lonely road up ahead, but I'm not gonna break people's hearts anymore.

Probably not, considering he banned me from every platform. Well, except Twitter.

One way to know if he's still reading these or a mole is reading these to him is if he can find my Twitter account and ban it too...

I spent a year foestering a friendship that was one-sided. My suspicions were only made true 2 weeks ago.

I don't think much about it anymore. I only spend much of my time thinking about what I want to do next. I wonder if he still thinks about me or still reads these crap

Cheat Device Remastered: github.com/Freakler/Che...

Cheat Device Remastered: github.com/Freakler/Che...

For the first time in 12 years of playing the game, I finally have the cheat device!

Cheat Device Remastered: github.com/Freakler/Che...