HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I wanna see your costumesssss 👁️
I wanna see your costumesssss 👁️
October 31, 2025 at 10:13 PM
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I wanna see your costumesssss 👁️
I wanna see your costumesssss 👁️
Well, that was art.
It was rich and gorgeous and also the straightest fucking version of Frankenstein I’ve ever seen
It was rich and gorgeous and also the straightest fucking version of Frankenstein I’ve ever seen
October 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Well, that was art.
It was rich and gorgeous and also the straightest fucking version of Frankenstein I’ve ever seen
It was rich and gorgeous and also the straightest fucking version of Frankenstein I’ve ever seen
An old coworker visited the store for the first time in years yesterday
"Lex! I was hoping for a familiar face! Do you remember me?"
And in my head I was like "of course, Eye of the Tiddy!"
My mouth got as far as "of course," before I froze -- wait, what WAS his name? Oh no
"Lex! I was hoping for a familiar face! Do you remember me?"
And in my head I was like "of course, Eye of the Tiddy!"
My mouth got as far as "of course," before I froze -- wait, what WAS his name? Oh no
October 25, 2025 at 8:11 PM
An old coworker visited the store for the first time in years yesterday
"Lex! I was hoping for a familiar face! Do you remember me?"
And in my head I was like "of course, Eye of the Tiddy!"
My mouth got as far as "of course," before I froze -- wait, what WAS his name? Oh no
"Lex! I was hoping for a familiar face! Do you remember me?"
And in my head I was like "of course, Eye of the Tiddy!"
My mouth got as far as "of course," before I froze -- wait, what WAS his name? Oh no
Showed up to a friend’s hobbit party as Smaug, surprising absolutely nobody
October 13, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Showed up to a friend’s hobbit party as Smaug, surprising absolutely nobody
Hhhhhhhh you know what? NO I’M NOT OVER IT and it’s my birthday so let me have another little post as a treat?
October 10, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Hhhhhhhh you know what? NO I’M NOT OVER IT and it’s my birthday so let me have another little post as a treat?
Walking back to the cabin with the player of a character my zombie just killed at Hawkins LARP:
ME: “I wonder how long a skeleton takes to burn to ash”
THEM: “About 8 hours”
…of course they just Knew That. Gosh I love horror LARPers so much
ME: “I wonder how long a skeleton takes to burn to ash”
THEM: “About 8 hours”
…of course they just Knew That. Gosh I love horror LARPers so much
October 6, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Walking back to the cabin with the player of a character my zombie just killed at Hawkins LARP:
ME: “I wonder how long a skeleton takes to burn to ash”
THEM: “About 8 hours”
…of course they just Knew That. Gosh I love horror LARPers so much
ME: “I wonder how long a skeleton takes to burn to ash”
THEM: “About 8 hours”
…of course they just Knew That. Gosh I love horror LARPers so much
How many baristas does it take to operate a conventional home coffee machine?
(two)
(the answer is two)
(two)
(the answer is two)
October 2, 2025 at 1:58 PM
How many baristas does it take to operate a conventional home coffee machine?
(two)
(the answer is two)
(two)
(the answer is two)
Something is afoot at the apple farm
September 21, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Something is afoot at the apple farm
Hugely disappointing that despite traveling by boat to a mist-shrouded island covered in bats and then immediately entombing myself amongst the pale rocks, I was NOT offered the Kiss Of Night and made immortal
September 16, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Hugely disappointing that despite traveling by boat to a mist-shrouded island covered in bats and then immediately entombing myself amongst the pale rocks, I was NOT offered the Kiss Of Night and made immortal
So it turns out I’m the chosen one.
You may doubt this, but then how can you explain my encounter yesterday?
You may doubt this, but then how can you explain my encounter yesterday?
September 10, 2025 at 3:27 PM
So it turns out I’m the chosen one.
You may doubt this, but then how can you explain my encounter yesterday?
You may doubt this, but then how can you explain my encounter yesterday?
For a while I kept running into a problem where I’d become overwhelmed with nostalgia for summer camp. And. What? I’d never BEEN to summer camp. Nostalgia is specifically a feeling you need to earn through experience, and I’d done nothing to earn this!
August 11, 2025 at 12:46 PM
For a while I kept running into a problem where I’d become overwhelmed with nostalgia for summer camp. And. What? I’d never BEEN to summer camp. Nostalgia is specifically a feeling you need to earn through experience, and I’d done nothing to earn this!
The thing about absorbing Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 Dracula movie so deeply into my psyche at such a young age is my brain has adopted certain scenes as emotion gifs that will play at the slightest provocation.
It happened again this morning.
It happened again this morning.
July 25, 2025 at 10:44 PM
The thing about absorbing Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 Dracula movie so deeply into my psyche at such a young age is my brain has adopted certain scenes as emotion gifs that will play at the slightest provocation.
It happened again this morning.
It happened again this morning.
Happy giant gay skeleton season!
June 9, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Happy giant gay skeleton season!
It’s Dracula season at last, and today’s novel segment has me frothing at the mouth for a movie that dares show Dracula applying his fake beard to go pick up Jonathan, and then tenderly tucking him in with a blankie in the back of the coach
May 5, 2025 at 11:40 AM
It’s Dracula season at last, and today’s novel segment has me frothing at the mouth for a movie that dares show Dracula applying his fake beard to go pick up Jonathan, and then tenderly tucking him in with a blankie in the back of the coach
Today in “decisions that would’ve gotten me killed in a horror movie and probably weren’t a great idea in real life, but all that happened was I got possessed by a giraffe”
April 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Today in “decisions that would’ve gotten me killed in a horror movie and probably weren’t a great idea in real life, but all that happened was I got possessed by a giraffe”
Three-headed turtle
April 19, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Three-headed turtle
Insurance-covered Occupational Therapist: Listens to the symptoms I typed into google, tells me to do what google told me to do
PT Sam’s mom sent me to: Examines my entire dang skeleton, diagnoses me “misaligned sack of bones,” says we gotta get weird with it
Step 1. BECOME A SCORPION
PT Sam’s mom sent me to: Examines my entire dang skeleton, diagnoses me “misaligned sack of bones,” says we gotta get weird with it
Step 1. BECOME A SCORPION
April 18, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Insurance-covered Occupational Therapist: Listens to the symptoms I typed into google, tells me to do what google told me to do
PT Sam’s mom sent me to: Examines my entire dang skeleton, diagnoses me “misaligned sack of bones,” says we gotta get weird with it
Step 1. BECOME A SCORPION
PT Sam’s mom sent me to: Examines my entire dang skeleton, diagnoses me “misaligned sack of bones,” says we gotta get weird with it
Step 1. BECOME A SCORPION
Friendship is when you go over to someone’s house and stab them,* and then they clip your toenails.**
And I guess it’s also a lot of other things? But sometimes it’s that.
* they’re squeamish about injections
** golfer’s elbow makes some very stupid things very difficult
And I guess it’s also a lot of other things? But sometimes it’s that.
* they’re squeamish about injections
** golfer’s elbow makes some very stupid things very difficult
April 6, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Friendship is when you go over to someone’s house and stab them,* and then they clip your toenails.**
And I guess it’s also a lot of other things? But sometimes it’s that.
* they’re squeamish about injections
** golfer’s elbow makes some very stupid things very difficult
And I guess it’s also a lot of other things? But sometimes it’s that.
* they’re squeamish about injections
** golfer’s elbow makes some very stupid things very difficult
Currently dealing with some golfer’s elbow and OH BOY is it ever humbling to face the feeble grip strength of my non-dominant hand. Almost lost a battle of fortitude to a garlic clove. Eating the crushed garlic DOES feel more satisfying after the struggle to vanquish it though.
March 23, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Currently dealing with some golfer’s elbow and OH BOY is it ever humbling to face the feeble grip strength of my non-dominant hand. Almost lost a battle of fortitude to a garlic clove. Eating the crushed garlic DOES feel more satisfying after the struggle to vanquish it though.
It’s. It’s a tofu press. Why is the package so intent on reassuring me that it won’t STING? What happened here? Was there a Hornets Incident at the packaging facility? I. What.
March 18, 2025 at 7:31 PM
It’s. It’s a tofu press. Why is the package so intent on reassuring me that it won’t STING? What happened here? Was there a Hornets Incident at the packaging facility? I. What.
I’m used to people commenting on my bare feet when I go walking, but the lady who stopped me yesterday was wearing a sun dress and INSULATED FUR BOOTS, so when she went “Feet!” I got to be like “opposite feet!” and feel vindicated as Normal From The Other Side
March 15, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I’m used to people commenting on my bare feet when I go walking, but the lady who stopped me yesterday was wearing a sun dress and INSULATED FUR BOOTS, so when she went “Feet!” I got to be like “opposite feet!” and feel vindicated as Normal From The Other Side