My Christmases got so much better when I stopped spending them with my family. Good luck.

Honeslty thought you might reignite the milk coke debate

Does the treehouse count?
Otherwise it might be the Devil's Advocate arcade machine.

While you're at the shop I'm feeding her salami

I have almost certainly looked at his page this year tbf. But more than, idk, Bundy or Kaczynski? Or Hitler? 3rd most viewed overall? That is wild to me.

If I could take you in for a year and feed you and get you your shots and make your coat all shiny, I would.
Unfortunately, I can't even brush my own hair

my name is cow
and wen its nite
and when a star
is shiyning brite

and three wise men
give me the nod
i walk up close
I lik the God

You fucker

Reminder that JK Rowling sees any support of Harry Potter as an endorsement of her political beliefs, and she uses Harry Potter royalties to further her transphobic hate campaign. Your friends and family might not think you're a bigot for buying Harry Potter shit, but Rowling herself certainly will.

Kath and Kim talking about political theory seems like such millennial bait that I'm surprised I haven't received a reel about it from my sister

And they don't tell you about it when you move over here. They just assume you know, because everyone has the contraption