Participation Trophy Wife
@racheldiroll-zack.bsky.social
She/her
Loudmouth
Slightly unstable bitey goblin
Loudmouth
Slightly unstable bitey goblin
New wedding vows just dropped:
"I promise to love, honor, and cherish you for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until Coldplay blasts you and your sidechick on the Jumbotron."
"I promise to love, honor, and cherish you for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until Coldplay blasts you and your sidechick on the Jumbotron."
July 18, 2025 at 1:28 PM
New wedding vows just dropped:
"I promise to love, honor, and cherish you for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until Coldplay blasts you and your sidechick on the Jumbotron."
"I promise to love, honor, and cherish you for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until Coldplay blasts you and your sidechick on the Jumbotron."
Maturity is overrated. I have a list of things I want to say to someone who has wronged me, but I won't because it will accomplish nothing useful.
Twenty years ago, I would have done it anyway.
Stupid personal growth. 😡
Twenty years ago, I would have done it anyway.
Stupid personal growth. 😡
July 1, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Maturity is overrated. I have a list of things I want to say to someone who has wronged me, but I won't because it will accomplish nothing useful.
Twenty years ago, I would have done it anyway.
Stupid personal growth. 😡
Twenty years ago, I would have done it anyway.
Stupid personal growth. 😡
Major downside of wearing shorts: I lost a layer of skin because my thighs were stuck to the chair. 😭
June 27, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Major downside of wearing shorts: I lost a layer of skin because my thighs were stuck to the chair. 😭
Do you know the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke?
Would you be able to recognize the signs if it were happening to you?
I got dangerously close to heat exhaustion today but I'm also a Girl Scout and so I knew what to do.
I'm okay, I'm just super over this heat/humidity combo.
Would you be able to recognize the signs if it were happening to you?
I got dangerously close to heat exhaustion today but I'm also a Girl Scout and so I knew what to do.
I'm okay, I'm just super over this heat/humidity combo.
June 26, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Do you know the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke?
Would you be able to recognize the signs if it were happening to you?
I got dangerously close to heat exhaustion today but I'm also a Girl Scout and so I knew what to do.
I'm okay, I'm just super over this heat/humidity combo.
Would you be able to recognize the signs if it were happening to you?
I got dangerously close to heat exhaustion today but I'm also a Girl Scout and so I knew what to do.
I'm okay, I'm just super over this heat/humidity combo.
It's 85 degrees in my 100-year-old non-air-conditioned home.
It's po$$ible to install a central air system and we have the cash to do it, but I've apparently turned into my dad, all "it's fine, got a fan going."
I do have a window unit in my bedroom but the rest of the house is toasty indeed.
It's po$$ible to install a central air system and we have the cash to do it, but I've apparently turned into my dad, all "it's fine, got a fan going."
I do have a window unit in my bedroom but the rest of the house is toasty indeed.
June 24, 2025 at 1:58 AM
It's 85 degrees in my 100-year-old non-air-conditioned home.
It's po$$ible to install a central air system and we have the cash to do it, but I've apparently turned into my dad, all "it's fine, got a fan going."
I do have a window unit in my bedroom but the rest of the house is toasty indeed.
It's po$$ible to install a central air system and we have the cash to do it, but I've apparently turned into my dad, all "it's fine, got a fan going."
I do have a window unit in my bedroom but the rest of the house is toasty indeed.
I think about how we could have had President Al Franken instead.
I think about that a lot.
I think about that a lot.
June 18, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I think about how we could have had President Al Franken instead.
I think about that a lot.
I think about that a lot.
American healthcare sucks, part 69325:
I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist to address a recurring issue. It's not an emergency but I still want to get it taken care of.
Earliest available appointment: October.
I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist to address a recurring issue. It's not an emergency but I still want to get it taken care of.
Earliest available appointment: October.
June 16, 2025 at 5:45 PM
American healthcare sucks, part 69325:
I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist to address a recurring issue. It's not an emergency but I still want to get it taken care of.
Earliest available appointment: October.
I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist to address a recurring issue. It's not an emergency but I still want to get it taken care of.
Earliest available appointment: October.
I'm making my family watch U2 concert videos as an attempt to get them to understand why I'm like this.
June 8, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I'm making my family watch U2 concert videos as an attempt to get them to understand why I'm like this.
The Fat Dog weighs around 60 pounds and has legs that are about three inches long. Maybe four. The dude is not tall. He's the approximate size and shape of a footstool.
I don't think he's lived in a house where he could easily look out of the window until he moved in with us.
I don't think he's lived in a house where he could easily look out of the window until he moved in with us.
June 6, 2025 at 1:55 AM
The Fat Dog weighs around 60 pounds and has legs that are about three inches long. Maybe four. The dude is not tall. He's the approximate size and shape of a footstool.
I don't think he's lived in a house where he could easily look out of the window until he moved in with us.
I don't think he's lived in a house where he could easily look out of the window until he moved in with us.
Oh no.
Anyway.
Anyway.
June 6, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Oh no.
Anyway.
Anyway.
I've met babies with diarrhea that cry less and smell less like shit than certain American Presidents.
I cannot believe people hear what he says and go "yes! This is exactly what America needs!"
I cannot believe people hear what he says and go "yes! This is exactly what America needs!"
May 16, 2025 at 4:11 PM
I've met babies with diarrhea that cry less and smell less like shit than certain American Presidents.
I cannot believe people hear what he says and go "yes! This is exactly what America needs!"
I cannot believe people hear what he says and go "yes! This is exactly what America needs!"
I had a mole removed from my upper lip yesterday.
Annoying co-worker arrives at 10.
How long will it take for her to ask me what happened? And will she accept my non-answer of "it's fine." ?
Annoying co-worker arrives at 10.
How long will it take for her to ask me what happened? And will she accept my non-answer of "it's fine." ?
April 29, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I had a mole removed from my upper lip yesterday.
Annoying co-worker arrives at 10.
How long will it take for her to ask me what happened? And will she accept my non-answer of "it's fine." ?
Annoying co-worker arrives at 10.
How long will it take for her to ask me what happened? And will she accept my non-answer of "it's fine." ?
To my customer who put 11 packets of Equal into a 12oz coffee:
I really hope things work out for you.
I really hope things work out for you.
April 22, 2025 at 5:20 PM
To my customer who put 11 packets of Equal into a 12oz coffee:
I really hope things work out for you.
I really hope things work out for you.
Are people naming their kids things like Irving or Beryl these days?
April 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Are people naming their kids things like Irving or Beryl these days?
My bakery recently started using UberEats to deliver. This triggered a rash of scammy calls, all "there is a problem with your UberEats payment."
And they call 8 times a day.
After a few weeks of just hanging up, I've started seeing how long I can keep them on the line while berating them.
And they call 8 times a day.
After a few weeks of just hanging up, I've started seeing how long I can keep them on the line while berating them.
April 10, 2025 at 2:51 PM
My bakery recently started using UberEats to deliver. This triggered a rash of scammy calls, all "there is a problem with your UberEats payment."
And they call 8 times a day.
After a few weeks of just hanging up, I've started seeing how long I can keep them on the line while berating them.
And they call 8 times a day.
After a few weeks of just hanging up, I've started seeing how long I can keep them on the line while berating them.
Do the rules in Brewster's Millions allow for giving grants? It's not charity, it's not a loan...
April 9, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Do the rules in Brewster's Millions allow for giving grants? It's not charity, it's not a loan...
I think now - more than ever - we need to band together to save the things we love, much like a ragtag group of misfits did long ago on the first Rex Manning Day.
Damn The Man, Save The Empire.
Damn The Man, Save The Empire.
April 8, 2025 at 9:44 AM
I think now - more than ever - we need to band together to save the things we love, much like a ragtag group of misfits did long ago on the first Rex Manning Day.
Damn The Man, Save The Empire.
Damn The Man, Save The Empire.
As I approach 50, I'm thinking about what I might do.
Options:
Grad school
Learn stained glass
Take up ice skating
Start running?
Or maybe I'll pay more attention to the hobbies I already have (knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, guitar, piano).
I suppose I could do all of these things. 🤔
Options:
Grad school
Learn stained glass
Take up ice skating
Start running?
Or maybe I'll pay more attention to the hobbies I already have (knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, guitar, piano).
I suppose I could do all of these things. 🤔
April 7, 2025 at 2:33 PM
As I approach 50, I'm thinking about what I might do.
Options:
Grad school
Learn stained glass
Take up ice skating
Start running?
Or maybe I'll pay more attention to the hobbies I already have (knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, guitar, piano).
I suppose I could do all of these things. 🤔
Options:
Grad school
Learn stained glass
Take up ice skating
Start running?
Or maybe I'll pay more attention to the hobbies I already have (knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, guitar, piano).
I suppose I could do all of these things. 🤔
I hate to think that my favorite deodorant has stopped cooperating with my 50-year-old body, but I think that's the case.
Now I need to find a different one that works and makes me smell like a Cabbage Patch Kid, which is my preferred scent. 🤔
Now I need to find a different one that works and makes me smell like a Cabbage Patch Kid, which is my preferred scent. 🤔
April 2, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I hate to think that my favorite deodorant has stopped cooperating with my 50-year-old body, but I think that's the case.
Now I need to find a different one that works and makes me smell like a Cabbage Patch Kid, which is my preferred scent. 🤔
Now I need to find a different one that works and makes me smell like a Cabbage Patch Kid, which is my preferred scent. 🤔
Do cows fight each other?
April 2, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Do cows fight each other?
Cory Booker is still going. He's got the crazy eyes and looks rumpled but he is still going. His hair is gonna be shoulder-length by the time he's done.
Keep it up, my man.
@booker.senate.gov
Keep it up, my man.
@booker.senate.gov
April 1, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Cory Booker is still going. He's got the crazy eyes and looks rumpled but he is still going. His hair is gonna be shoulder-length by the time he's done.
Keep it up, my man.
@booker.senate.gov
Keep it up, my man.
@booker.senate.gov
The cuffs of my favorite hoodie are all stretched out and it's a pain in my ass. Now I understand why Bill Belichick cuts off the sleeves of all of his.
April 1, 2025 at 11:41 AM
The cuffs of my favorite hoodie are all stretched out and it's a pain in my ass. Now I understand why Bill Belichick cuts off the sleeves of all of his.
Gonna start answering "how are you" with the truth.
"My underwear is crawling up my ass crack, but otherwise I'm good"
"I forgot I took my vitamins this morning and took them again so I might be immortal now"
"My underwear is crawling up my ass crack, but otherwise I'm good"
"I forgot I took my vitamins this morning and took them again so I might be immortal now"
March 28, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Gonna start answering "how are you" with the truth.
"My underwear is crawling up my ass crack, but otherwise I'm good"
"I forgot I took my vitamins this morning and took them again so I might be immortal now"
"My underwear is crawling up my ass crack, but otherwise I'm good"
"I forgot I took my vitamins this morning and took them again so I might be immortal now"
I already have a brain filled with useless music trivia and this week I learned that Chubby Checker made a "psychedelic" album in 1971.
It's... not bad, but I don't know how it would be considered psychedelic.
#rockhall
#archives
#volunteer
It's... not bad, but I don't know how it would be considered psychedelic.
#rockhall
#archives
#volunteer
March 27, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I already have a brain filled with useless music trivia and this week I learned that Chubby Checker made a "psychedelic" album in 1971.
It's... not bad, but I don't know how it would be considered psychedelic.
#rockhall
#archives
#volunteer
It's... not bad, but I don't know how it would be considered psychedelic.
#rockhall
#archives
#volunteer
I guess there's something big on TV tonight?
Besides Sister Act 2, which is what I'm watching?
Besides Sister Act 2, which is what I'm watching?
March 5, 2025 at 2:32 AM
I guess there's something big on TV tonight?
Besides Sister Act 2, which is what I'm watching?
Besides Sister Act 2, which is what I'm watching?