*joining a Teams call*

Coworker - “happy Friday Rabin! Thanks for taking a last minute call on a Friday morning haha! How’s it going?”

*glancing at the article on my other monitor titled “Symptoms of a Nervous Breakdown”*

Me - “TGIF buddy”

Okay. New album out TODAY.
Now I’m Laughing Again.

10 new songs, streaming everywhere:
linktr.ee/Empty_Heaven

The other half of my album Laughing,
and,
part one of my EGGSONG box set.

Please enjoy. Please reskeet.
Let the good people know that my tunes simply will not stop coming

So many mundane things feel deeply bizarre as we live through the decline of western civilization, but online dating feels ridiculous. What the fuck kind of small talk am i supposed to make? “Hi! Which human trait do you think is more responsible for the state of the world, greed or complacency?”

Great news! Households across the nation are celebrating as oven clocks that were always off by like an hour are suddenly inexplicably on time again

I love having a spooky or otherwise generally tense show on in the background while i work out. I see the situations these characters get themselves in and i think “not me. i could run away so good”

Much to the chagrin of my haters it would appear that on Sunday, March 2nd, i was, in fact, up late night balling

There should be a union for personality hires

What is the statute of limitations on using an ex’s streaming services? We broke up a few years ago, but I’m so damn curious about the new season of White Lotus and their HBO is still signed in on my tv

I know i am 20 years late to the game but i just started watching Lost and yall what the heck is going on on that dang island!!

Kinda bored lately. Decided to start a digital paper trail to frame my roommate as a racist

Love that Midway is just smack dab in the middle of a suburb. I get that Chicago is an unserious city but cmon fellas.. there’s gotta be somewhere else we can put this thing

Started drafting the message for when i inevitably slide into the DMs of the CEO shooter

“I feel like you more than anybody will understand the importance of shooting your shot, which is why I’ve reached out to you today” etc etc you get the gist

Lmk his @ if you come across it

I don’t understand bell peppers. It’s a big watery beast with no snap and no flavor.

Currently listening to the song “Mother” by the artist Danzig. I like that there are guitar solos and also he talks about hell. Boy, i sure do like to rock!

Found some dumbbells in the alley last week, truly a blessed gift. I will repay the alley by using these dumbbells to become a grotesque muscle-bound monstrosity, roaming the alleys of Chicago, beating up twerps and dweebs alike. This is what the alley commands

*listening to radiohead* what’s this guy’s problem?