Merci Yoka 😊❤️

Thank you Apey 💓😊

Thank you Itsu 🫂 You have always been supportive to me, and I consider you also as a dear and close friend ❤️

You are aware of the issues and struggles I was facing these last years, and you always tried to do your best to help and support me. I'll never forget it.

Take care of you too 💗

I needed to talk about it somewhere, and I felt like this place was the most safe for me, for some reason.

Sorry for all these long posts "100% my life.", I don't seek advices or anything, I just wanted to...talk about it...

Take care of you 💓

Do they need a lot of times to "digest the news"?

I said, Friday, to my father that I'm still the same, I mean, I didn't change in an instant because 1s before for them I was """normal""".

I'm confused, yet not surprised by their reaction.

Was it too soon? I don't think so... It has to be said.

The last message I got from both of them are "We are well arrived at home", and some heartwarming emotes that reassured me at that moment.

But since then, nothing, the complete deafening silence.

What have I done wrong? What should I do? Should I wait and see how things will be later?

My mother just said a cold "Ah".

My father said that he had a shiver down his spine, that he is half surprised (?), that he need to "digest" the news, and just said "Well, that's the way things are these days, huh?"

That's the way things are these days...?

Then they left...

Maybe in the most clumsy, "tactless" and awkward way possible (I was extremely stressed) but they are now aware that their "son" deeply love another man, and that I am, for them, bisexual (because pansexual is too complicated for them to understand).

Their reactions were...difficult to understand.

How one wouldn't shout it out to their loved ones, because despite how they might be, I still love my family, my parents, they means a lot to me. I also want them to be happy for me.

So... I said it...

I feel like I'm coming back to life, increasingly at peace with myself.

I find myself doing things I would never have done before, taking care of myself again, dressing in a certain way, because I want to be attractive again and open myself up to the world.

I'm truly happy again.

Everything changed few months ago, since I met an amazing person who is now my boyfriend.

Despite the distance between us, through his words, his gestures when we are together, his attention and understanding, I have learned to accept myself, to ease my mindset, to open up again to someone else.

Being belittled, insulted, raped and assaulted against my will trapped me in a vicious circle who made me questioning everything about myself, what have I done wrong, and later my gender, my sexuality...

Few trustworthy friends were aware of my "state".

But I was still alone against myself.

...until I've met someone, an angel that helped me to accept myself, my body, my mind, who I am.

And it's truly an amazing feeling.

For years, after being abused due to a complicated past relationship, I wasn't able to touch, to be close to, to have any physical contact for more than 5s.

How can I explain why it's complicated...

My parents are the kind to be...far right, especially my father. Family meeting and reunion are often the occasion to hear many "thoughts" about how they see the world. Homophobic and racist comments are rife.

I've spent years, decade, to remain silent...

bsky.app/profile/smoo...

Le vrai gros point noir.

D'où on peut pas Pet the cat 😭