Pinned
i want people to look at me and think wow i bet that woman has a really great penis but nonsexually and in a way that doesn't involve them thinking about my penis
god couldn't make me a cis women because she knew i'd be too powerful if i could get abortions
December 14, 2025 at 9:22 PM
god couldn't make me a cis women because she knew i'd be too powerful if i could get abortions
me being alive is such a crazy mistake
December 14, 2025 at 8:38 PM
me being alive is such a crazy mistake
i could never be a t-rex because it would be too hard to pretend to take someone else's nose with tiny t-rex arms, hard to imagine how i could ever find meaning in a life like that
December 14, 2025 at 2:35 AM
i could never be a t-rex because it would be too hard to pretend to take someone else's nose with tiny t-rex arms, hard to imagine how i could ever find meaning in a life like that
magic trick: you are now a CAT, you rly wanna meow rn
December 13, 2025 at 4:47 AM
magic trick: you are now a CAT, you rly wanna meow rn
we are the piss you didn't your pants
December 13, 2025 at 3:14 AM
we are the piss you didn't your pants
cosplaying as a mermaid so i can sadly flop my tail around on a seesaw to no effect
December 11, 2025 at 9:44 PM
cosplaying as a mermaid so i can sadly flop my tail around on a seesaw to no effect
gollum and bilbo hatefucking would've been hot as hell with all the biting and scratching and gollum's moans of baaagggiiiiinnsssss! baaaaagggggggiiiiinnnssssssss! while bilbo's large unexpected precious fills his land of mordor until he erupts like mount doom
December 9, 2025 at 7:34 AM
gollum and bilbo hatefucking would've been hot as hell with all the biting and scratching and gollum's moans of baaagggiiiiinnsssss! baaaaagggggggiiiiinnnssssssss! while bilbo's large unexpected precious fills his land of mordor until he erupts like mount doom
a useful heuristic for determining when i'm going to be a very cute nuisance is yes
December 9, 2025 at 5:50 AM
a useful heuristic for determining when i'm going to be a very cute nuisance is yes
burgers are the perfect dissociation food shape, it's just science
December 9, 2025 at 5:45 AM
burgers are the perfect dissociation food shape, it's just science
you know what they say, you can't spell scurvy without curvy!!! *refuses to have any vitamin C whatsoever*
December 8, 2025 at 12:16 AM
you know what they say, you can't spell scurvy without curvy!!! *refuses to have any vitamin C whatsoever*
all the fun drugs are gay
December 2, 2025 at 7:13 PM
all the fun drugs are gay
switching to estrogen surjections for better coverage
December 2, 2025 at 3:07 AM
switching to estrogen surjections for better coverage
putting our casual sex into lean to make it formal
December 2, 2025 at 12:11 AM
putting our casual sex into lean to make it formal
i'm starting to suspect more people claim things aren't their first rodeos than have been to more than one rodeo
November 29, 2025 at 10:18 PM
i'm starting to suspect more people claim things aren't their first rodeos than have been to more than one rodeo
thanksgiving would be a funny day to die tbh
November 27, 2025 at 5:37 PM
thanksgiving would be a funny day to die tbh
i'll have a baja blast and enough acid to kill an elephant, please
November 19, 2025 at 2:47 AM
i'll have a baja blast and enough acid to kill an elephant, please
no, it's fine, those are my emotional support paranoid delusions and they're probably true anyway
November 19, 2025 at 2:09 AM
no, it's fine, those are my emotional support paranoid delusions and they're probably true anyway
getting high at my own funeral and laughing at my dead body would fix me
November 18, 2025 at 3:13 AM
getting high at my own funeral and laughing at my dead body would fix me
2.5/5 honestly pretty great half the time -review on schrodinger's mystery box
November 17, 2025 at 6:14 AM
2.5/5 honestly pretty great half the time -review on schrodinger's mystery box
Reposted by froggy catbird
rundowns in baseball were a lot harder for the defensive team back when referees used to actually fucking call people for travelling
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 AM
rundowns in baseball were a lot harder for the defensive team back when referees used to actually fucking call people for travelling
Reposted by froggy catbird
listen, we've all had a lot of fun today learning that we truly are ruled by a pedophiliac cabal that permeates every level of big business and government, but also let's not take our eye off the fact that the senate Dems completely betrayed their base and must be primaried until they're all gone
November 13, 2025 at 1:36 AM
listen, we've all had a lot of fun today learning that we truly are ruled by a pedophiliac cabal that permeates every level of big business and government, but also let's not take our eye off the fact that the senate Dems completely betrayed their base and must be primaried until they're all gone
will powers is like if the guy who conducted the stanford prison experiment was reincarnated as a chaser
November 11, 2025 at 12:17 AM
will powers is like if the guy who conducted the stanford prison experiment was reincarnated as a chaser
boymoding is when you have really big tits
November 9, 2025 at 7:52 PM
boymoding is when you have really big tits
somewhere out there the anti kool-aid man quietly whispers "oh no..." to himself while he fixes walls and doesn't carry around a pitcher of his own blood
November 8, 2025 at 8:54 PM
somewhere out there the anti kool-aid man quietly whispers "oh no..." to himself while he fixes walls and doesn't carry around a pitcher of his own blood