Proteus Unbound
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proteusunbound.bsky.social
Proteus Unbound
@proteusunbound.bsky.social
310 followers 450 following 170 posts
I'm nobody; who the fuck are you?

I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn… but the troops were dazzled.
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proteusunbound.bsky.social
Testing.
A path in the woods, lined with trees whose leaves are changing from green to orange.
October 18, 2024 at 4:12 PM
proteusunbound.bsky.social
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It's a sign. There's a bird. And a skeet.

And a reskeet, apparently.
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A children's book, with a boy's head on the cover; a parakeet stands atop the boy's head and says, "FROM THE WINDOW TO THE WALL..." The title of the book is SKEET SKEET PARAKEET. The publisher, in small print in the corner, is "Your Childhood Ruined." Seems like this was almost designed specifically for Bluesky. Almost certainly not, but it's funny to think it. At least it is for me. Your mileage may vary...
November 18, 2023 at 8:14 PM
proteusunbound.bsky.social
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'tis NOT YET THE FUCKING SEASON
Various artists' potential Christmas trees are rendered: Botticelli's has cherubim flying around it; Dali's is surreal, a the green eating over a bare trunk; Matisse's is dancing shapes in the shape of a tree; Michelangelo's has a hand touching the top of the tree (like Adam touching the hand of god); Mondrian's is his square, but the colours are in the basic shape of a tree; Monet's looks more like a haystack, with Monet's trademark brushstrokes; O'Keefe's is made of antlers; Picasso's is deconstructed; Seurat is a bunch of dots, per his style; Van Gogh's is A Starry Night-style; Vermeer's is a tannenbaum next to the same window his Girl With A Pearl Earring sat by; Warhol's is a picture of a decorated tree in four panels of different colours.
November 17, 2023 at 9:48 AM
proteusunbound.bsky.social

Throwing those Thames signs & tagging the walls of Parliament...
Jesus & his crew roll up in van and Jesus gestures out the window to a woman whom we only see by her ar m and part of her chest. The caption reads, "When your KJV homies roll up on you." The dialogue bubble for Jesus reads, "Suppeth..." It's parodying the language of the King James Version of the Bible. It depicts "Gang Member Jesus" saying "Suppeth" instead of saying "'sup," the way "cool" guys greet each other and their girlfriends. 'sup? 'sup. 'sup! Get it? "suppeth." Okay so if you're reading this you MAY have figured out something else besides the punchline. See if you can name it in the comments.
October 28, 2023 at 10:57 PM
proteusunbound.bsky.social
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Somebody made up a handy business card-type thingy.

How convenient. Now they don't even need to SAY it.
A business card-type thing that says, "REPUBLICAN THOUGHTS & PRAYERS™️" - Just the sort of thing that will come in handy for all those elected Republicans who will need SOMETHING to give people who want answers. When confronted by grieving parents and spouses and children, these greedy fuckers whose pockets are stuffed with NRA and gun manufacturers' money can just hand out these little cards in lieu of actual, you know, ACTION. If ever there were a reason to hope there's a god, this is it; so we can think of these venal, craven, evil motherfuckers actually having to face SOME kind of consequences at SOME point for their scumsuckery.
October 27, 2023 at 10:33 PM
proteusunbound.bsky.social
Post your favourite ghost(s)

Alfre Woodard, Charles Grodin, Kyra Sedgwick, & Tom Sizemore as Robert Downey Jr's lifelong ghost companions in "Heart & Souls"
Come ON! Robert Downey, Jr.s four ghost pals from "Heart & Souls" - the most underrated movie of HIS career, if not ALL of their careers (from left to right: Alfre Woodard, Charles Grodin, Downey, Kyra Sedgwick, & the late Tom Sizemore). If you've never seen this movie, do yourself a favour and FIND a way to see it. It's a tearjerker of a hilarious comedy. Family SAFE, if you care about that shit.
October 26, 2023 at 4:12 PM
proteusunbound.bsky.social
"I've never fallen in love; I've stepped in it a few times..."
"I have never fakes a sarcasm in my life." The top floor quote, "I've never fallen in love; I've stepped in it a few times," is by Kenneth Branagh from "Peter's Friends," an underrated film.
October 26, 2023 at 6:33 AM