In Illinois you legally can’t have fun. You get fined out the dickhole actually. It’s like 400 bucks I hear, and I only hear that. Since every time I’m in Illinois I’m fucking miserable. Happy New Years.

Paid $325.01 to have them tell me that he has no kidney stones, no UTI, but that he is badly behaved when he uses the potty. The Vet’s assistant said she watched him get into the box, and just spray the wall behind it because he doesn’t feel like squatting.

Roommate got high

Puffin (pictured below) pooped and peed in her litter box this morning! She also clawed the shit out of my arm while I was washing my hands because She wanted pets. Best cat ever.

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Bound to study at my desk, now everyone knows I write in all caps and I draw in the margins of my notebooks, and yet… I am free

I wish I had enough time to post about some weak, wimpy, and sad widower surviving his own nightmare, too bad his alter ego is giving me a low taper fade

Have you SEEN THEM? BOOOOONERRRRRR