Scouty Wouty
@prosharkfighter.bsky.social
Professional Shark Fighting for hire
Mercenary by night, drunkard by day
Mercenary by night, drunkard by day
Ok it wasn’t that bad and I got fined like 400 buckaroos for having a good time. FUCK YOU ILLINOIS. I probably could’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for the fact my roommates dad is a cop, and he was there. Ugh.
December 28, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Ok it wasn’t that bad and I got fined like 400 buckaroos for having a good time. FUCK YOU ILLINOIS. I probably could’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for the fact my roommates dad is a cop, and he was there. Ugh.
In Illinois you legally can’t have fun. You get fined out the dickhole actually. It’s like 400 bucks I hear, and I only hear that. Since every time I’m in Illinois I’m fucking miserable. Happy New Years.
December 28, 2025 at 12:19 AM
In Illinois you legally can’t have fun. You get fined out the dickhole actually. It’s like 400 bucks I hear, and I only hear that. Since every time I’m in Illinois I’m fucking miserable. Happy New Years.
My roommate personally wants to buy Taylor Swift her third jet, he loves her so much. Travis Kelce… watch out! Kyle on the prowl and not like the transformer (it’s not a proper noun that’s why it’s not capitalized but I have to make sure I dispel all chances he can say PROWL? LIKE THE TRANSFORMER?).
December 16, 2025 at 11:19 PM
My roommate personally wants to buy Taylor Swift her third jet, he loves her so much. Travis Kelce… watch out! Kyle on the prowl and not like the transformer (it’s not a proper noun that’s why it’s not capitalized but I have to make sure I dispel all chances he can say PROWL? LIKE THE TRANSFORMER?).
Jarvis, open my Bluesky app
December 8, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Jarvis, open my Bluesky app
Someone make me a Grey Alien Lego set please
October 19, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Someone make me a Grey Alien Lego set please
Wording my scapes
October 18, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Wording my scapes
I’m getting territorial over Wordscapes
October 16, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I’m getting territorial over Wordscapes
Paid $325.01 to have them tell me that he has no kidney stones, no UTI, but that he is badly behaved when he uses the potty. The Vet’s assistant said she watched him get into the box, and just spray the wall behind it because he doesn’t feel like squatting.
September 27, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Paid $325.01 to have them tell me that he has no kidney stones, no UTI, but that he is badly behaved when he uses the potty. The Vet’s assistant said she watched him get into the box, and just spray the wall behind it because he doesn’t feel like squatting.
I had to go to work on the weekend to pick up my FR clothing so I could go into an exclusion zone at a plant that runs Hexane lines. I don’t often go to work when I don’t have to but every time I do, I leave a note for my boss that says something mean and he can’t say anything about it for a week.
September 21, 2025 at 10:25 PM
I had to go to work on the weekend to pick up my FR clothing so I could go into an exclusion zone at a plant that runs Hexane lines. I don’t often go to work when I don’t have to but every time I do, I leave a note for my boss that says something mean and he can’t say anything about it for a week.
It always feels like I haven’t posted in a longer time, but it’s always like 12-16 days between posts. But that’s like 900+ pictures of my cat so it does end up feeling like a long time due to my gauge of days being cat photos
August 25, 2025 at 11:18 AM
It always feels like I haven’t posted in a longer time, but it’s always like 12-16 days between posts. But that’s like 900+ pictures of my cat so it does end up feeling like a long time due to my gauge of days being cat photos
Alani Nu? Like the ν Gundam? Like from Char’s Counerattack? Well… it kind of tastes like hydraulic fluid I guess… so it’s kind of like the ν Gundam… Alani ν…
August 8, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Alani Nu? Like the ν Gundam? Like from Char’s Counerattack? Well… it kind of tastes like hydraulic fluid I guess… so it’s kind of like the ν Gundam… Alani ν…
My best friend just got certified and is now a funeral director at his local funeral home! Yay! But guess who has just figured out the most inconvenient way to die so that he has the WORST first day as a funeral home director.
August 6, 2025 at 1:24 AM
My best friend just got certified and is now a funeral director at his local funeral home! Yay! But guess who has just figured out the most inconvenient way to die so that he has the WORST first day as a funeral home director.
This cat is so dramatic when it’s dinner time. “I love you so much, I love you dearly but I am about to die. I have to rub my face all over yours so you remember my scent. I must go sit over here and stare at the wall, I was so young. I am dying. Here’s a clump of my fur.” All the while meowing.
August 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
This cat is so dramatic when it’s dinner time. “I love you so much, I love you dearly but I am about to die. I have to rub my face all over yours so you remember my scent. I must go sit over here and stare at the wall, I was so young. I am dying. Here’s a clump of my fur.” All the while meowing.
Roommate got high
July 3, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Roommate got high
No Instagram I don’t want to edit this image with AI I will never use your AI features No Google I will never read Gemini because the information it spits is blatantly wrong NO SOFTWARE COMPANY YOUR USE OF AI IS WRONG AND ILL NEVER USE IT STOP FUCKING SHOVING IT DOWN MY THROAT YOU GOD DAMN FREAKS
June 8, 2025 at 12:41 PM
No Instagram I don’t want to edit this image with AI I will never use your AI features No Google I will never read Gemini because the information it spits is blatantly wrong NO SOFTWARE COMPANY YOUR USE OF AI IS WRONG AND ILL NEVER USE IT STOP FUCKING SHOVING IT DOWN MY THROAT YOU GOD DAMN FREAKS
Puffin (pictured below) pooped and peed in her litter box this morning! She also clawed the shit out of my arm while I was washing my hands because She wanted pets. Best cat ever.
May 27, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Puffin (pictured below) pooped and peed in her litter box this morning! She also clawed the shit out of my arm while I was washing my hands because She wanted pets. Best cat ever.
Call this cat Denali the way it engine bay
May 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Call this cat Denali the way it engine bay
My boss asked about my new apartment, and I complained about The Smell it has. Well he talked about how his house smelled and brought up air fresheners.
“oh like the little pine tree ones.”
“No like the wall mounted ones.”
Long pause.
“Did you actually ask if I hung air fresheners in my house.”
“oh like the little pine tree ones.”
“No like the wall mounted ones.”
Long pause.
“Did you actually ask if I hung air fresheners in my house.”
May 16, 2025 at 4:58 PM
My boss asked about my new apartment, and I complained about The Smell it has. Well he talked about how his house smelled and brought up air fresheners.
“oh like the little pine tree ones.”
“No like the wall mounted ones.”
Long pause.
“Did you actually ask if I hung air fresheners in my house.”
“oh like the little pine tree ones.”
“No like the wall mounted ones.”
Long pause.
“Did you actually ask if I hung air fresheners in my house.”
Legit hiding in the dark room, who up hiding in the dark room? Am I alone in here? I feel someone’s breath on my neck. I’m starting to tweak, help.
May 15, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Legit hiding in the dark room, who up hiding in the dark room? Am I alone in here? I feel someone’s breath on my neck. I’m starting to tweak, help.
People who stand with their hands just. Flaccid. Wtf are you doing. You violent predator. You scare me with your confidence in your air of relaxedness. You’re not covering any part of your body, you’re just open, stomach unarmored. If you stand with your arms at your sides you scare me.
May 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
People who stand with their hands just. Flaccid. Wtf are you doing. You violent predator. You scare me with your confidence in your air of relaxedness. You’re not covering any part of your body, you’re just open, stomach unarmored. If you stand with your arms at your sides you scare me.
I got saved only 20 minutes ago, they said that they couldn’t hear me and I don’t believe that because I heard them say “well she’s been quiet for the last hour maybe she’s given up??” And there’s no other girls here so I suspect they knew I was in there earlier, but I shouldn’t speculate.
April 22, 2025 at 4:26 PM
I got saved only 20 minutes ago, they said that they couldn’t hear me and I don’t believe that because I heard them say “well she’s been quiet for the last hour maybe she’s given up??” And there’s no other girls here so I suspect they knew I was in there earlier, but I shouldn’t speculate.
Got accused of hiding in the dark room today…. I was. Until I got locked in from the outside help help help oh god my boss is ignoring my calls. I’ve been in here for three hours, and we closed an hour ago.
April 21, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Got accused of hiding in the dark room today…. I was. Until I got locked in from the outside help help help oh god my boss is ignoring my calls. I’ve been in here for three hours, and we closed an hour ago.
Happy Easter to all who celebrate! I know I’ll be rising once again to complete another day but I’m on the hunt for two Roman guards who will stand by my door 😏
Hubba hubba
Hubba hubba
April 19, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Happy Easter to all who celebrate! I know I’ll be rising once again to complete another day but I’m on the hunt for two Roman guards who will stand by my door 😏
Hubba hubba
Hubba hubba
Worked in a casting foundry today, slipped on a huge pile of shot and cracked my skull on the ground now I’m funny again.
April 17, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Worked in a casting foundry today, slipped on a huge pile of shot and cracked my skull on the ground now I’m funny again.