It's hard to poke light fun at your administration when your administration's signature accomplishments are all atrocities.

not sure there could be a slower, softer, over the plate pitch than the turkey pardoning ceremony, and still—STILL—he can't get through it without fucking up. fucking loser.

Goddammit Iowa. Why? Why is this our representative?

Fuck off. I wear sweats to fly because cramming into the cattle car that is coach is literally the most uncomfortable thing I do on a regular basis. You want me to wear pants? Treat me like a human with dignity instead of cargo. Fuck all the way off.

the GLOAF

shed seems like enough. No need to go crazy

Thank you it’s all natural

Does he not understand gym memberships? Or game subscriptions? People sign up to pay $5 without knowing it all the time. There’s whole apps dedicated to helping people find the $5/month they signed up for by accident.

I need to think of a signature policy for myself.

I wonder if he’s ever going to let out that fart. Not a doctor but it seems unhealthy to hold in a fart for your entire adult life.

Best morning motivational I’ve seen in a long time ☺️

Oh no he’s right, they are definitely NOT $58. More like $5.

bsky.app/profile/jonk...

Unfortunately they are made from expanded foam plastic, so they'd be an environmental nightmare to burn. Kinda fitting...

They spent a *month* negotiating to receive nothing but a handshake deal? Would love to hear what those conversations were like.

Idk how far 2 containers would get me.

Getty is a (maybe THE) major photography repository in the US. They own/sell all the famous photojournalism/stock photos/creative assets.