at least now my sheets are done in the dryer and I can actually go to bed

luckily her parents (the ones who actually could kick me out) are very lovely people

but the more she complains to them the more worried I get, and she is more upset than ever.... over my 3 minutes in the bathroom

oh she's been complaining to her sister (my other roommate) for the last 10 minutes and is demanding to know when i'm moving out.

over a three minute shower

or, I guess maybe I don't actually. there are people I love who are only still in my life because I didn't give up when things were bad

but

there are some things that will never be fixed. and those hurt to think about.

maybe this'll change whenever I move to seattle.

I actually have friends there. maybe some I could even be affectionate with

but who knows when that's going to be. and I have hesitancies about it too...

I just feel so isolated and alone offline.

lately I've been happy about how my life has been going, knowing that even if it's an unusual way of living it's also only way I've been able to enjoy

but. I do look at others with some jealousy. I've missed out on too much and it feels like I am even now. it would help if I knew how to be human.

it felt like a group of friends for a while and now I just feel like an outcast. but do I want things to go back to how they were? idk

it's been a lot less fun lately..

hugs you tight

want someone that I can hold close to me on nights like this