Daughter: goes through mother's gifster list to find birthday present.

Daughter: Can't find present on list that can deliver before mother's birthday this weekend.

Daughter: Fuck!

I've got the gas man coming tomorrow, in theory just to service the boiler.
Just in case though, I've got a carpenter booked for Wednesday, electrician for Thursday, glazier for Friday and painter for Saturday.

If ever eldest chick decides to stay one of those reaction channels on YouTube, I'm signing up if only to see how many other nutters are prepared to watch her stare at her phone.
Just showed her "Four candles" - not a sausage.

Eldest saying she knows her rights and the law, and she's watched Brooklyn 99 🤣

Happy New Year to both my followers...

Why does Wile E. Coyote think that a teeny tiny umbrella will protect him from a dirty heat big rock?

Eldest child started laughing when she found out my handle on here.

Started playing the song where it comes from, did she care?

Hell no!

I despair, I really do.

Amazon: Here’s your large item. We’ve squished it and vacuum packed it until it’s barely recognisable and it’ll take approximately 4 months for it to go back to its original shape (if you’re lucky).

Also Amazon: Here’s your tiny item. We’ve put it in a box the size of a shed.

Guess who rick rolled the office Christmas party......
😇😇

[New password needed]

nobodylovesme

[Your password is too insecure]

The inventor of the anagram has died.

May he erect a penis.

One day, I hope to make a post so clever and witty that I gain followers on my own merit.

According to spotify, my favourite artists this year, in descending order, were Queen, Abba and Mozart.

An eclectic mix I'll grant you, but one I can't help feel is skewed by the rest of my family's listening on alexa!

I've been on bluesky a couple of hours now, and I've got to say I'm impressed.

I haven't seen a single temu advert at all and over on twitter they're every five posts or so!

Just thought I'd come over here from twitter, have a look round and see what all the fuss is about.
Who do people recommend I follow?