Dragons are just silly little guys who have never done anything wrong and you should give them your money

Any song is a banger if you listen to it loud enough

I like to practice "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" by using the same breakup songs to get over different people

Growing up is realising that flossing is way less common among adults than you initially thought and any time your dentist compliments you it means you're god

My biggest red flag is that I'm just a little too into mayonnaise

The more you think about the human body the weirder it gets like what do you mean sometimes your nose just bleeds. Why is that a design feature

If I let my impulses win I'd be fucking up a whole head of broccoli rn. That's a meal right there. I'd be tearing that shit apart with my teeth like an animal- neither God nor the government would be able to stop me. I practice self control and moderation for YOUR wellbeing, not mine

Sorry I didn't answer your text I'm totally going ham on this pasta right now, really just devouring honestly

Coming out as a broccoli Stan: it is an S tier vegetable

live action remakes of animated movies are so silly these days like wym "live action" that's a couple of dudes in front of a greenscreen. You literally just reanimated the whole movie and put real people in it. Then you animated on top of the people. It is arguably more animated than the original

I have some pickle-related regrets ☝️

Ate a pickle to find out if God still cares about me

The great thing about the effects of acid reflux medication being immediate is that I can immediately tell when it didn't work

Who up crashing they Spotify with their dying phone and 3000+ liked songs

Stir fry is just hot salad

Everyone talking about Unus Annus coming back but I'm certain it won't: that was the whole point of the channel. It's banging on the coffin because we all forgot about it. We have to remember why it ended to begin with. Unus Anus may be dead, but it is not resting.

Memento Mori