First Mate Meric
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piratepasta.bsky.social
First Mate Meric
@piratepasta.bsky.social
200 followers 180 following 280 posts
I'm a devout Pastafarian from the US who lives in the UK. Praise the #FSM I love my sphynx cat, wild hedgehogs, backyard ducks, breastfeeding, tabletop & pc/sandbox games, DIY home & craft, wildlife, science, tattoos, sex positivity + antifascism.
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piratepasta.bsky.social
Not worse than 'Gentleman's Relish'.

(Which is fish based.)
December 8, 2025 at 10:12 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
#NewPet Ceratophysella isabellae x100 Yellow #Springtails from Devon Springtails in the UK! #Terrarium
September 23, 2025 at 3:38 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
How much of a failure do you have to be to send "if you need further help, reply to this email" from a straight up no-reply address?

You've got to be #Vinted, apparently.

I can't tell if it's incompetence or a 🖕 to users.

And the illegal listings are all still there, so they did not take action.
A screenshot of a customer support email from no-reply@vinted.co.uk, that ends with the sentence "If you have any questions, or need further assistance, you can respond to this email. Kind regards, Team Vinted"
July 17, 2025 at 11:17 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Almost?! She's got a little white tear in her dark patch that matches her tail tip...
July 9, 2025 at 9:15 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Caused some havoc, feeling smug in the sun now.

#Sphynx
July 8, 2025 at 11:02 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Went to straighten up these vines and realized the leader has grown through its own leaf. WTF, plant?!

#HouseplantProblems #Monstera #MonsteraProblems
A monkey leaf monstera plant, with the vine growing through the hole in one of its own leaves.
May 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
On our walk this afternoon, I said to my kiddo "We should take a selfie." and pulled my phone out of my pocket. This was the horse's response.
Baby in a green carrier on left of screen is looking at a dark brown horse standing on the other side of a rope fence. The horse is showing her teeth directly to the camera as if she is smiling for a selfie.
May 5, 2025 at 10:25 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
I didn't realise you had cresties.
Photo of a hairless Chinese Crested dog standing on black rugs near a white door with a transparent cat flap. The dogs skin is dark grey with white toes and offwhite hair on his head, ears and face. He is dressed in a tight yellow shirt with no sleeves.
May 1, 2025 at 1:29 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
I thought the first one was just a random bonus- but then the second, third, fourth... by the fifth egg I was screaming! The sixth I was cheering as if I had laid it. I got six #DoubkeYolk #Eggs in a single pack! What is going on with these British chickens?! DAMN! #Twins!
4 yolks in a black bowl on a kitchen countertop. 6 yolks in a black bowl on a kitchen countertop, a cracked eggshell visible on right side of image. Fingers with green nail polish hold a brown chicken egg with stamp 1UK2238 over a black bowl with 8 yolks. Closer image of 8 chicken yolks in a black bowl.
January 27, 2025 at 6:48 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Oh yeah, sorry the actual kiddo distracted me from taking pics: other purses from my style-to-impress-a-5-year-old esthetic. Animal crossing inspired, fruit and food, and Ghibli themes!
An iridescent silver seashell shaped purse with pearls at the base of the strap, sitting on the wood frame of a window. Screenshot of game wiki page for item called 'Shellfish Pochette' from Animal Crossing: New Horizons Various small purses from left to right: a yellow lemon clutch with smaller lemon coin purse, an upright rectangular purse with blue and black & white cow print that reads 'Pure Milk 100% Milk' on the front, a furry black circular bag with two large googley eyes with a small matching keychain to look like a Susuwatari (soot sprite) and a small black pouch that looks like the character No Face from Ghibli movies.
January 27, 2025 at 12:02 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
This is my watermelon inception purse... It contains a half watermelon pouch with a watermelon bag (for shopping if needed) and a quarter watermelon pouch with little watermelon chewing gums and then watermelon hand sanitiser, tiny notepad, cuticle oil pen, Glow Recipe's face mist and lip pop too!
A hard round purse shaped like a small watermelon sits in a window on a wood ledge. Watermelon shaped purse is unzipped, held open with a hand showing two red compartments divides by small zipper. Two watermelon soft pouches sit next to the purse, the larger one containing a folded watermelon carrier bag, the smaller one has a plastic bag of tiny watermelon gumballs. Closed watermelon purse shown behind a watermelon notepad, a white hand sanitizer case with pink liquid, a white cuticle oil pen with pink oil and a label that reads 'watermelon' along with Glow Recipe brand watermelon face mist and Glow Recipe's watermelon Lip Pop lipbalm tube on its side.
January 21, 2025 at 12:28 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Who? Why?! Uh no thanks.

My pinned tweet says follows often result in blocks, not that I think it was read by a real human here... #AintNoFollowBack
Screenshot at 4:18 of profile for jesusisourlord.bsky.social with blue +Follow Back button and 'Follows you' above description that reads "Faith we have peace with God through our lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we [red heart heart emoji] [praying hands emoji]." Profile image is a cross against a sky. First post is three images of a man holding up a hand making a peace sign with two fingers. Screen shot at 4:18 showing profile for jesusisourlord.bsky.social blocked.
January 17, 2025 at 4:33 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Hecka yes! So many... This is my little demon Mazikeen!
A sphynx cat named Mazikeen lays on her back in a hanging pet bed in a window with the sun behind her. A light grey waffle blanket has a visibly cat-shaped lump, with the white tip of a tail sticking up from the blankets edge. Mazikeen the sphynx cat sleeping in a curve on her side with back feet extended and a paw over half of her face, with the tip of her tongue sticking out. She is on a light grey microfiber blaket with tail curled, her skin is pink with large dark spots. Mazikeen the sphynx cat sits on a keyboard, blocking the screen and looking directly at camera with a blank expression.
January 14, 2025 at 11:20 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Acquired! @badasscrossstitch.bsky.social
January 11, 2025 at 12:37 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
You've never seen a pigs teeth, huh. They have big canines- tusks grow their whole life and often have to be ground down for safety/health. There's a reason pigs being used to dispose of bodies is a trope. Plus they are low, heavy, thick skinned and smart.
January 8, 2025 at 3:01 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
I daydream about opening a skirt shop named 'Gird Your Loins' and all skirts will be sold with these instructions.

All skirts will have pockets too.
January 3, 2025 at 5:50 PM
piratepasta.bsky.social
NNNOOOOOOOOOooooooOooo!!

#Mooncat #StarWars #NailPolish
Screenshot of Mooncat nail polish website page for Star Wars Collector's Boxed Set showing it is sold out with a neon 'notify me' option.
December 14, 2024 at 11:30 AM
piratepasta.bsky.social
Innovative solutions.
Cropped image of search box text reads "switzerland guinea pig law" with results header reads "consequences" and two bullet points reading "Failure to comply with this law may result in penalties or fine." and "In practice, this law has led to tgd development of innovative solutions, such as "rent-a-guinea pig" services, where owners can temporarily provide companionship for grieving or lonely guinea pigs that have lost their partner."
November 28, 2024 at 11:33 AM