Steve Silas Hendrickson
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phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
Steve Silas Hendrickson
@phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
33 followers 46 following 170 posts
Bicolano introvert. 🌈🇵🇭

"Mamunduong tawo"

Autodidact | Folklorist | Lyrical | Mytho-confessionalist | Reflective Minimalist |

Working on my first book "When My Purple Met Your Blue"

コドモドラゴン || Phantom Siita || ザアザア || Plastic Tree ||
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phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
Steve Silas Hendrickson @phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social · 27d
Not a poem this time, but a sneak peak into a part of my culture that resonated with me a long time ago.

#Bicolano #philippines #thoughts #language #folklore
I remember a local phrase from where I live: “Mamunduong tawo.” It’s used to describe people like me. When I once asked my professor about its origin, he told me it came from an old belief: that sadness is born from worldly things, and that only by letting go of them can one enter heaven, where true happiness exists. So when someone is sad, they say that person: the “tawo”, becomes tied to the world, the “mundo”, and weighed down by it. It’s a Bicolano belief, likely influenced by the early spread of Catholicism in our region, but I was never able to ask for clarification, and its authenticity. It does make some sense however.
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
One of the things I was accused of before was that I was a narcissist.

I spoke to my therapist at length, took a test (I had to pay for it), and... I scored 279. My therapist interpreted most of the questions as CPTSD coded rather than narcissism coded, so she knocked down some points.
A screenshot of a narcissist personality test, where the score says Level 3: 279 points.
November 16, 2025 at 3:59 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
We don't have power due to a power outage that will last four hours, so it's time to clean my Attack Shark X98 Pro, my favorite keyboard of all time.
Keyboard base, keycap slots, and keycaps of an Attack Shark X98 Pro.
November 16, 2025 at 12:50 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
My legs divorced 🥵

#TowerofGod
November 15, 2025 at 10:40 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I too wanted to join them,
Change into...

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
Flowers Fall With a gentleness unseen by Other eyes, I grabbed a leaf and petal fallen below. I wanted to love the sharp edges, my ties Vanishing—going somewhere that's not here, I know... Flowers fall, leaves fall— Where would they go when they fall? Where do they go? Where do they go? They wither until they're gone. The soil opens, its call— Their edge disappears, until its on Another tree... I too wanted to join them, Change into....
November 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
This is an angry register for "holy shit, I'm tired."

Literal translation:

"Son of a bitch, I'm tired!"

The even more literal translation is something I cannot post here or else I'll get flagged. 🙂
Here in Bicol, we don't say I'm tired. We say "Sa buray ni ina nyang pagal!" This is an angry register for "holy shit, I'm tired." Literal translation: "Son of a bitch, I'm tired!" The more literal translation is something I cannot post here or else I'll get flagged.
November 15, 2025 at 8:03 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I'll take matters in my own hands.

*Sigh*

Time to cook
November 15, 2025 at 7:48 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
There are seven Japanese restaurants in this city and none of them serve oyakodon.

Explain this to me. EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!
November 15, 2025 at 7:35 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I am craving for oyakodon and I need it badly.
November 15, 2025 at 7:14 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
The bones of my ghosts live eternally.

Dear, dear, my former beloved!

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
Romance. Hatred. Love. Hate. Is it really romance, or is it love? Love. Hate. Joy. Despair. It's a torrid love affair We're a broken love result. The bones of my ghosts live eternally. Dear, dear, my former beloved, You said we'd be together Forever? Dear, dear, my former beloved, What happened to you proclaiming Forever? Dear, dear, my former beloved, I tore a flower to your Forever. Dear, dear, my former beloved, I loved, I hate.... Hey, You promised me right? You said you'd fight Your demons that Tore you apart. Pinky promise, alright? Months came by, and nothing happened. Your face turned into a pillar of lies. I tore another flower— Over A lie It will haunt me forever My hate did take over... Loved. Hated.
November 14, 2025 at 4:23 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
And what hurts even more is....

They'll never understand....and probably never will.

I'm still in therapy over this but sometimes I wake up crying over the failed promises and...false love....

I'll probably never recover, and that's the hardest part.
When someone tells me to move on, but they'll never understand how deeply I loved that person.
November 14, 2025 at 4:03 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I made a bit of progress today.

After some things happened in August, I started having hand tremors when I would open the Steam app. My therapist and I have been doing exposure therapy, at least 15 minutes per week with the app open.

Today I held it together for 20 mins.

Progress.
November 13, 2025 at 9:37 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
A lot of love
A lot of love

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
A Lot Of Love I can see a halo, a halo, I gave on An altar without you. I can smile not waver, not waver, I kept on Walking without you. Living, moving, chilling— Playing, talking, med-ing Shiver, shiver, in heaven Thinking I can begin to breathe! Hither dither a lot of love A lot of love With no glove. I don't need a poker night To have fun, tonight! Futher nearer a lot of love A lot of love, The sky above It's the last time I felt so nice, Some meat with some rice! I opened my medicine tray, They never left me astray, It's a hard easy afffair required from me daily, So I can pretend to smile!
November 13, 2025 at 4:18 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I hate. No. DESPISE POST FLOOD CLEANUP LIKE MY GOD!!!

Water entered my home, my living room, dining room, bathroom, and kitchen are all muddy and I just wanna AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My back hurts, I need a hug...
A view of my home's front patio and pathway inundated with flood brought by supertyphoon Uwan. Here, part of the red gate is submerged in water, the patio itself is muddy and is still submerged. The pathway leading to the highway outside is flooded with knee deep water.
November 10, 2025 at 8:31 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I'm safe from supertyphoon Uwan!
November 9, 2025 at 10:08 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
12:15 PM local time, supertyphoon Fung Wong (Uwan) is still hitting us hard with winds of up to 185 kph.

The weather has been like this since 6 AM. They said it'll calm down by 6 PM tonight.

I'm trying to calm down but it's hard.
November 9, 2025 at 4:17 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
You can see you can see you can see you can see the results,

You can see you can see you can see you can see you can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

#poem #poetry #writer #WritingCommunity #AliceInWonderland #abuse #gaslighting #CPTSD #rumination
Phantom Pain It's where you made your bed! Deep in the dark ends of my Imagination— There is a place, What kind of space Would you dare to go inside? Inside stored away, is all Rumination— I hate it here, I cannot steer, I have no ways to steer it! Alice said she cannot bear it. Neither can I but would you even dare to? I cannot force you in this anger trap, After all you captured me in this wrap! You can see, you can see, you can see the results, It's your fault, it's your fault, you aren't a grown adult, You can see you can see you can see you can see the results, You can see you can see you can see you can see you can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee It's where you made your bed, You made me lay in it! Hitting me with lead I can't, A poison that has spread!
November 8, 2025 at 6:17 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
ETA before typhoon Uwan strikes: 16 hours...
View of a city. The clouds are dark, it's around 5 PM. The roads are becoming clearer.
November 8, 2025 at 9:06 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I evacuated again because there's another typhoon on its way, and now it's gonna hit my area pretty hard...

I hate this...
November 8, 2025 at 6:12 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
Just say it with me:
I need a new energy,
Someone with my synergy

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
Quiet Musings I woke up with a migraine Locking me in bed, I drank a bit of water Felt a bit of strain, Thinking how I'm damaged A rocker with a brain— Seeing how I'm lonesome I need a Mary Jane. I'll be honest, Looking in the mirror — I'm so exhausted Thinking to myself I need a hospice, Take time away because you costed Me damage—you broke an early promise. I haven't seen a nice man, Who could be bigger than your nightmares. There are bigger fish to find than your tiny ego. Won't it be nice to find someone who cares, Just say it with me: I need a new energy, Someone with my synergy, Love me so I cannot bleed.
November 7, 2025 at 5:02 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
Been told at the office by a coworker my newer poems are razor sharp but also they're more honest and fun than her boyfriend...

Like...uhm...thanks for the compliment?
November 7, 2025 at 6:50 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I blame it on bad chem—

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
Bad Chemistry You called me too much, I'm trying to live. You labored me hard, was trying to help. Exploited so much, I cannot forgive. You knocked on my door, I stood by my shelf, I saw all the snow, I know I don't care. And then you said, I'm too traumatized— And then I said, Why'd you analyze? I know, instead, You have penalized— Who's the bad boy who felt I stepped on them when I made some waves, like— Told me it's all in my, head. Maybe we were not a vibe, I blame it on bad chem— I bet you're out there screaming murder, I— How am I supposed to react to that? How am I gonna stay calm when you spat? How can I stay up, you called me a gnat? How do I recover when I'm a doormat?
November 6, 2025 at 3:39 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I should be asleep but I just finished an emergency therapy session (it's 3 PM here) and...well..

Let's just say we had a rough conversation on exploitation and DARVO.

It has not sunk in me yet, but now I'm seeing my former friends in a new light...

And my anger has returned.

#CPTSD
November 6, 2025 at 7:30 AM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
It's satisfying to me whenever I see people still stuck in their vicious cycle of anger and reposting sad memes rather than doing anything about it.

Like you're angry, sad, then what? You're just gonna stay that way?

They broke me once, now I'm a phoenix.

I'm proud of myself.
November 5, 2025 at 10:15 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I, sit and ignore
I, shut the door,
And I, think no more more more more

#MPPrompt #poem #poetrycommunity #writer #WritingCommunity
Driving You Heard you were crying over That girl you were fawning for— Sobbing over your crushes And now they're burned to ashes. I, sit and ignore I, shut the door And I, think no more more more— I have your number blocked, Like an afterthought, But all I can say is: "I'm not really sorry for your loss." I feel so much better driving you Like a tractor. Nice! I never felt cuter making you Melt like butter, ahhh You say I'm petty, act like a bitch I know I'm pretty, cast like a witch Here they come the consequences Of your actions, yeah! I'd tweet, *this is fine!"
November 5, 2025 at 9:21 PM
phylogeneticsteve.bsky.social
I love seeing karma hit people from my past sooner than I thought it would.

May this trend continue.

Wish them a lifetime of nothingness
And a forever of never getting laid. 🙂
a woman with a ring on her finger hugs a man
Alt: a woman with a ring on her finger hugs a man
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 4:21 PM