Phil Surette
@philsurette.bsky.social
Canadian father of two grown-ass kids. OG D&D player. Former software developer. Board gamer. Nature lover- kayak, run, swim, bike, hike. Animal lover. Dogs make me smile. Vegetarian forever. Mind shaped by bookwormish youth.
To @holland-tom.bsky.social, courtesy of goalhanger and @theresthistory.bsky.social..., an skaldic account of Harald Hadraga's mutilation of Michael V.
Warning: this gets graphic... Harald Hardrada doesn't mince words! I'll 🧵 the verses below, there are 12 verses to
**The Orbs of Oraltes**
Warning: this gets graphic... Harald Hardrada doesn't mince words! I'll 🧵 the verses below, there are 12 verses to
**The Orbs of Oraltes**
April 3, 2025 at 4:54 PM
xii.
A red ruin I left
th'imperial face;
By disfigurement done,
no more emperor he.
Seven years had I served.
no more could I do now...
Byzantium bored me.
To Norway, and lordly!
A red ruin I left
th'imperial face;
By disfigurement done,
no more emperor he.
Seven years had I served.
no more could I do now...
Byzantium bored me.
To Norway, and lordly!
April 3, 2025 at 4:50 PM
xii.
A red ruin I left
th'imperial face;
By disfigurement done,
no more emperor he.
Seven years had I served.
no more could I do now...
Byzantium bored me.
To Norway, and lordly!
A red ruin I left
th'imperial face;
By disfigurement done,
no more emperor he.
Seven years had I served.
no more could I do now...
Byzantium bored me.
To Norway, and lordly!
xi.
His left orb I disgorged -
my thumb plumbed the socket!
His mewlings, rage-fuelling
now fading, him fainting...
But in red-ravaged face
wetly gleamed still one eye!
again, my thumb from,
that visage took vengeance!
His left orb I disgorged -
my thumb plumbed the socket!
His mewlings, rage-fuelling
now fading, him fainting...
But in red-ravaged face
wetly gleamed still one eye!
again, my thumb from,
that visage took vengeance!
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
xi.
His left orb I disgorged -
my thumb plumbed the socket!
His mewlings, rage-fuelling
now fading, him fainting...
But in red-ravaged face
wetly gleamed still one eye!
again, my thumb from,
that visage took vengeance!
His left orb I disgorged -
my thumb plumbed the socket!
His mewlings, rage-fuelling
now fading, him fainting...
But in red-ravaged face
wetly gleamed still one eye!
again, my thumb from,
that visage took vengeance!
x.
A yellow stain shamed him
as from pillar I pulled
the cowardly craven
from whom wet fluid flowed!
My left hand held him down:
and I gouged out his crown -
Varangian vengeance
dealt redly upon him!
A yellow stain shamed him
as from pillar I pulled
the cowardly craven
from whom wet fluid flowed!
My left hand held him down:
and I gouged out his crown -
Varangian vengeance
dealt redly upon him!
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
x.
A yellow stain shamed him
as from pillar I pulled
the cowardly craven
from whom wet fluid flowed!
My left hand held him down:
and I gouged out his crown -
Varangian vengeance
dealt redly upon him!
A yellow stain shamed him
as from pillar I pulled
the cowardly craven
from whom wet fluid flowed!
My left hand held him down:
and I gouged out his crown -
Varangian vengeance
dealt redly upon him!
ix.
In monast'ry hiding
God's blessing, he claimed!
But but no grace monastic
to the sinful is owed -
The doors I drew open!
Sword lifting, and swiftly,
I found him and bound him -
That worm.
I deformed him!
In monast'ry hiding
God's blessing, he claimed!
But but no grace monastic
to the sinful is owed -
The doors I drew open!
Sword lifting, and swiftly,
I found him and bound him -
That worm.
I deformed him!
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
ix.
In monast'ry hiding
God's blessing, he claimed!
But but no grace monastic
to the sinful is owed -
The doors I drew open!
Sword lifting, and swiftly,
I found him and bound him -
That worm.
I deformed him!
In monast'ry hiding
God's blessing, he claimed!
But but no grace monastic
to the sinful is owed -
The doors I drew open!
Sword lifting, and swiftly,
I found him and bound him -
That worm.
I deformed him!
viii.
By imperial boat
he chased sanctuary...
But we Varangians,
cowardice condemning,
for empress had risen!
And I led that dread force.
Our blood hot yacht followed -
found the fool that we sought!
By imperial boat
he chased sanctuary...
But we Varangians,
cowardice condemning,
for empress had risen!
And I led that dread force.
Our blood hot yacht followed -
found the fool that we sought!
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
viii.
By imperial boat
he chased sanctuary...
But we Varangians,
cowardice condemning,
for empress had risen!
And I led that dread force.
Our blood hot yacht followed -
found the fool that we sought!
By imperial boat
he chased sanctuary...
But we Varangians,
cowardice condemning,
for empress had risen!
And I led that dread force.
Our blood hot yacht followed -
found the fool that we sought!
vii.
He restored Empress, yes
but his sins not forgiv'n -
His mother, old maid -
her head had he shaved.
Mobs, seeing her, sobbèd
and pillaged the palace
making Michael to flee -
to some safety, thought he.
He restored Empress, yes
but his sins not forgiv'n -
His mother, old maid -
her head had he shaved.
Mobs, seeing her, sobbèd
and pillaged the palace
making Michael to flee -
to some safety, thought he.
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
vii.
He restored Empress, yes
but his sins not forgiv'n -
His mother, old maid -
her head had he shaved.
Mobs, seeing her, sobbèd
and pillaged the palace
making Michael to flee -
to some safety, thought he.
He restored Empress, yes
but his sins not forgiv'n -
His mother, old maid -
her head had he shaved.
Mobs, seeing her, sobbèd
and pillaged the palace
making Michael to flee -
to some safety, thought he.
vi.
Observing, still serving,
and all these things seeing,
my Nordic blood boiled
to see Zoë mistreated
And the people protested!
They loudly showed love for,
twice-crowned empress, Zoë...
meekly, Michael relented!
Observing, still serving,
and all these things seeing,
my Nordic blood boiled
to see Zoë mistreated
And the people protested!
They loudly showed love for,
twice-crowned empress, Zoë...
meekly, Michael relented!
April 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
vi.
Observing, still serving,
and all these things seeing,
my Nordic blood boiled
to see Zoë mistreated
And the people protested!
They loudly showed love for,
twice-crowned empress, Zoë...
meekly, Michael relented!
Observing, still serving,
and all these things seeing,
my Nordic blood boiled
to see Zoë mistreated
And the people protested!
They loudly showed love for,
twice-crowned empress, Zoë...
meekly, Michael relented!
v.
This Michael was fickle.
Silver-haired Zoë
who'd raised him to reign
as coordinate lord -
she he banished, betrayed!
Noble woman - made nun!
Inhabiting habit -
in nunnery prison'd!
This Michael was fickle.
Silver-haired Zoë
who'd raised him to reign
as coordinate lord -
she he banished, betrayed!
Noble woman - made nun!
Inhabiting habit -
in nunnery prison'd!
April 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
v.
This Michael was fickle.
Silver-haired Zoë
who'd raised him to reign
as coordinate lord -
she he banished, betrayed!
Noble woman - made nun!
Inhabiting habit -
in nunnery prison'd!
This Michael was fickle.
Silver-haired Zoë
who'd raised him to reign
as coordinate lord -
she he banished, betrayed!
Noble woman - made nun!
Inhabiting habit -
in nunnery prison'd!
iv.
Michael Kalaphetes
- the fifth - was to follow
his uncle to purple
adopted and prepared
once caulker, now Kaisar
and Zoë now mother
sixty-four years lovely
proclaimed him emperor!
Michael Kalaphetes
- the fifth - was to follow
his uncle to purple
adopted and prepared
once caulker, now Kaisar
and Zoë now mother
sixty-four years lovely
proclaimed him emperor!
April 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
iv.
Michael Kalaphetes
- the fifth - was to follow
his uncle to purple
adopted and prepared
once caulker, now Kaisar
and Zoë now mother
sixty-four years lovely
proclaimed him emperor!
Michael Kalaphetes
- the fifth - was to follow
his uncle to purple
adopted and prepared
once caulker, now Kaisar
and Zoë now mother
sixty-four years lovely
proclaimed him emperor!
iii.
He purloined the purple
through murder and marriage
with Zoë the vehicle.
As Michael lay dying
tonsured, holy-ordered,
th'imperial fool dreamt
of legacy: adopted
nephew continuing.
He purloined the purple
through murder and marriage
with Zoë the vehicle.
As Michael lay dying
tonsured, holy-ordered,
th'imperial fool dreamt
of legacy: adopted
nephew continuing.
April 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
iii.
He purloined the purple
through murder and marriage
with Zoë the vehicle.
As Michael lay dying
tonsured, holy-ordered,
th'imperial fool dreamt
of legacy: adopted
nephew continuing.
He purloined the purple
through murder and marriage
with Zoë the vehicle.
As Michael lay dying
tonsured, holy-ordered,
th'imperial fool dreamt
of legacy: adopted
nephew continuing.
ii.
Oedema-afflicted
-once found fair but now bloated-
fluid-filled Michael IV
had once Zoë seduced
seven years ago when
Orphanotrophos
avuncular eunuch
helped him kill Romanos.
Oedema-afflicted
-once found fair but now bloated-
fluid-filled Michael IV
had once Zoë seduced
seven years ago when
Orphanotrophos
avuncular eunuch
helped him kill Romanos.
April 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
ii.
Oedema-afflicted
-once found fair but now bloated-
fluid-filled Michael IV
had once Zoë seduced
seven years ago when
Orphanotrophos
avuncular eunuch
helped him kill Romanos.
Oedema-afflicted
-once found fair but now bloated-
fluid-filled Michael IV
had once Zoë seduced
seven years ago when
Orphanotrophos
avuncular eunuch
helped him kill Romanos.
i.
In constantinople
- Oraltes they called me -
Emperor Michael, four
Paphlagonian man
my Varangian hand
served, loyal, unswerving
and snowy-haired Zoë
his fine-chested empress.
In constantinople
- Oraltes they called me -
Emperor Michael, four
Paphlagonian man
my Varangian hand
served, loyal, unswerving
and snowy-haired Zoë
his fine-chested empress.
April 3, 2025 at 4:47 PM
i.
In constantinople
- Oraltes they called me -
Emperor Michael, four
Paphlagonian man
my Varangian hand
served, loyal, unswerving
and snowy-haired Zoë
his fine-chested empress.
In constantinople
- Oraltes they called me -
Emperor Michael, four
Paphlagonian man
my Varangian hand
served, loyal, unswerving
and snowy-haired Zoë
his fine-chested empress.
Shameless plug: I think Statler and Waldorf would like the Lorick podcast.
Statler: "A podcast about riddles, history, and wordplay?!"
Waldorf: "I’d rather solve the mystery of where my youth went!"
I won’t be able to stop hearing their kibitzing now…
🎭🎙️ goodpods.com/podcasts/lor...
Statler: "A podcast about riddles, history, and wordplay?!"
Waldorf: "I’d rather solve the mystery of where my youth went!"
I won’t be able to stop hearing their kibitzing now…
🎭🎙️ goodpods.com/podcasts/lor...
Lorick Podcast - 10 Best Episodes
A daily limerick that brings legends, myths, and historic figures to life—one rhyme at a time. Can you guess what t... | Listen & Review on Goodpods™
goodpods.com
January 30, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Shameless plug: I think Statler and Waldorf would like the Lorick podcast.
Statler: "A podcast about riddles, history, and wordplay?!"
Waldorf: "I’d rather solve the mystery of where my youth went!"
I won’t be able to stop hearing their kibitzing now…
🎭🎙️ goodpods.com/podcasts/lor...
Statler: "A podcast about riddles, history, and wordplay?!"
Waldorf: "I’d rather solve the mystery of where my youth went!"
I won’t be able to stop hearing their kibitzing now…
🎭🎙️ goodpods.com/podcasts/lor...
I agree 100% that idolization is bad. I hate that people overvalue celebrity opinions. The worst people in the history of the world have been idolized.
This goes back as long as people. Asking people not to do it is about as likely to work as asking them to have nuanced opinions. Despair😢.
This goes back as long as people. Asking people not to do it is about as likely to work as asking them to have nuanced opinions. Despair😢.
January 13, 2025 at 6:21 PM
I agree 100% that idolization is bad. I hate that people overvalue celebrity opinions. The worst people in the history of the world have been idolized.
This goes back as long as people. Asking people not to do it is about as likely to work as asking them to have nuanced opinions. Despair😢.
This goes back as long as people. Asking people not to do it is about as likely to work as asking them to have nuanced opinions. Despair😢.
Not sure that the US is closed for _repairs_ for the next for years... more like item open for corruption 🙄 The contractors for the most repair job have been let go.
Also not sure about the 4 years part 🤔.
Breathe... 🎄 is here. The tree before the storm!
Also not sure about the 4 years part 🤔.
Breathe... 🎄 is here. The tree before the storm!
December 24, 2024 at 11:45 PM
Not sure that the US is closed for _repairs_ for the next for years... more like item open for corruption 🙄 The contractors for the most repair job have been let go.
Also not sure about the 4 years part 🤔.
Breathe... 🎄 is here. The tree before the storm!
Also not sure about the 4 years part 🤔.
Breathe... 🎄 is here. The tree before the storm!
I definitely love Libby. Learned recently that it actually costs my library a couple dollars every time I take out an ebook... it's a licensing model. So be sure to at least start read those books you take out!
www.npr.org/2024/08/29/n...
www.npr.org/2024/08/29/n...
E-books are expensive for libraries. Some states are trying to change that
For years, libraries have complained about how expensive it is for them to license eBooks. Now, several states are considering legislation to bring the cost down.
www.npr.org
December 18, 2024 at 10:11 PM
I definitely love Libby. Learned recently that it actually costs my library a couple dollars every time I take out an ebook... it's a licensing model. So be sure to at least start read those books you take out!
www.npr.org/2024/08/29/n...
www.npr.org/2024/08/29/n...
🤔 Seems that even if you control the most valuable land in the world, without sensible government you can become a land of
- medical and student debt
- insane wealth disparity
- cars
- guns
Said with love by someone contemplating having their country 🇨🇦 taken over by the US 😆
- medical and student debt
- insane wealth disparity
- cars
- guns
Said with love by someone contemplating having their country 🇨🇦 taken over by the US 😆
December 18, 2024 at 9:57 PM
🤔 Seems that even if you control the most valuable land in the world, without sensible government you can become a land of
- medical and student debt
- insane wealth disparity
- cars
- guns
Said with love by someone contemplating having their country 🇨🇦 taken over by the US 😆
- medical and student debt
- insane wealth disparity
- cars
- guns
Said with love by someone contemplating having their country 🇨🇦 taken over by the US 😆
This is honestly the best strip I've seen on bluesky! Reagan 😆
I'm trying to apply trickledown economics to everything now. The joke is that nothing actually trickles down right? So, applying it to democracy: the rich get votes. Everyone else is slaves... trickle-down democratics is oligarchy.
I'm trying to apply trickledown economics to everything now. The joke is that nothing actually trickles down right? So, applying it to democracy: the rich get votes. Everyone else is slaves... trickle-down democratics is oligarchy.
December 18, 2024 at 9:29 PM
This is honestly the best strip I've seen on bluesky! Reagan 😆
I'm trying to apply trickledown economics to everything now. The joke is that nothing actually trickles down right? So, applying it to democracy: the rich get votes. Everyone else is slaves... trickle-down democratics is oligarchy.
I'm trying to apply trickledown economics to everything now. The joke is that nothing actually trickles down right? So, applying it to democracy: the rich get votes. Everyone else is slaves... trickle-down democratics is oligarchy.
Focusing just on the kids, and scale:
~60M kids in preschool to grade 12 in 2021 and 2022
~2000 died from covid, says the article
About one in 30,000.
IMO, saving 1 child's life would not justify seriously disrupting 60 million kids' educations.
What number would justify it? Is 2000 enough?
~60M kids in preschool to grade 12 in 2021 and 2022
~2000 died from covid, says the article
About one in 30,000.
IMO, saving 1 child's life would not justify seriously disrupting 60 million kids' educations.
What number would justify it? Is 2000 enough?
December 17, 2024 at 6:03 PM
Focusing just on the kids, and scale:
~60M kids in preschool to grade 12 in 2021 and 2022
~2000 died from covid, says the article
About one in 30,000.
IMO, saving 1 child's life would not justify seriously disrupting 60 million kids' educations.
What number would justify it? Is 2000 enough?
~60M kids in preschool to grade 12 in 2021 and 2022
~2000 died from covid, says the article
About one in 30,000.
IMO, saving 1 child's life would not justify seriously disrupting 60 million kids' educations.
What number would justify it? Is 2000 enough?
Still, congrats to Gukesh. It's like any sport I guess, and there's a lot of competition.
December 17, 2024 at 5:11 AM
Still, congrats to Gukesh. It's like any sport I guess, and there's a lot of competition.
Why do people care about chess so much? It's not a great game - 448th on board game geek. Too little variation between games, too much memorization, deosn't really develope transferable skills. We've learned a lot about how to make a good game since 1475! Move on! boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/17...
Chess
Checkmate your opponent in this timeless abstract.
boardgamegeek.com
December 17, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Why do people care about chess so much? It's not a great game - 448th on board game geek. Too little variation between games, too much memorization, deosn't really develope transferable skills. We've learned a lot about how to make a good game since 1475! Move on! boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/17...