CrankyPete
@petehumes.bsky.social
When someone asks you something you don’t know, something you don’t want to talk about, or something you definitely know the answer to, but don’t want to say out loud… you say “two weeks.”
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Too Weak Notice
Episode #160: Self-Pruning, Shredded Meat and Phone Book Nostalgia
open.substack.com
June 20, 2025 at 5:04 PM
When someone asks you something you don’t know, something you don’t want to talk about, or something you definitely know the answer to, but don’t want to say out loud… you say “two weeks.”
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Less thugs. More hugs.
June 13, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Less thugs. More hugs.
America’s big, beautiful, brilliant future is dead on arrival.
We were so close to being wicked smart.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
We were so close to being wicked smart.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
We Can't Fix Stupid
Episode #158: Self-Love, Pasta People and Sexless Songs
open.substack.com
June 6, 2025 at 6:49 PM
America’s big, beautiful, brilliant future is dead on arrival.
We were so close to being wicked smart.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
We were so close to being wicked smart.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
This week, my daughter took a long walk inside a college basketball stadium.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Empty Nests and Endless Possibilities
Episode #157: Sweetheart Slaw, Biological Voltage and My Fondness for Fisticuffs
open.substack.com
May 31, 2025 at 1:31 AM
This week, my daughter took a long walk inside a college basketball stadium.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Good news everybody! I just updated my Emotion Tracker app and I’m only three more smiles away from being mildly content!
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Don't Worry, Be Appy
Episode #156: Naked Mountains, Drunk Lovers and Strangers in a Strange Land
open.substack.com
May 16, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Good news everybody! I just updated my Emotion Tracker app and I’m only three more smiles away from being mildly content!
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
It’s time to get back in the multiplex people! open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Good Monkeys Go Watch Movies
Episode #155: Questions, Doubts, and The Persistence of Laziness
open.substack.com
May 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
It’s time to get back in the multiplex people! open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
“I never heard of you. I picked you. You’re not being very nice. He had MS-13 tattooed... Just say yes!" - The President of the United States of America
#ComicSansHasaPosse
#ComicSansHasaPosse
May 1, 2025 at 1:21 AM
“I never heard of you. I picked you. You’re not being very nice. He had MS-13 tattooed... Just say yes!" - The President of the United States of America
#ComicSansHasaPosse
#ComicSansHasaPosse
Hey friend, let’s turn that frown upside down…
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Send in the Clowns
Episode #151: Scream Talkers, Road Kill, and Cookie Lust
open.substack.com
April 5, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Hey friend, let’s turn that frown upside down…
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Reposted by CrankyPete
Hey there champ, how are you holding up?
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Father Son Time
Episode #148: Bold Statements, Corpse Carpets, and Sex Pests
open.substack.com
March 8, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Hey there champ, how are you holding up?
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Dear Sirs: I’m writing in regard to the All Citizen Email Blast sent today.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: White Email Privilege
Episode #147: Tickling Zoo Animals, Crushing Homework, and Singing Into Space
open.substack.com
March 5, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Dear Sirs: I’m writing in regard to the All Citizen Email Blast sent today.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Reposted by CrankyPete
This scrum of pot-bellied, sunken-chested betas trying to bully an all-black clad badass Eastern European wasteland survivor while dressed like Men’s Wearhouse mannequins is peak cinema.
GLENN: Why don't you wear a suit? You're at the highest level in this country's office & you refuse to wear a suit. A lot of Americans have problems with you not respecting the office.
ZELENSKYY: I will wear a costume after this war will finish. Maybe something like yours. Maybe something better.
ZELENSKYY: I will wear a costume after this war will finish. Maybe something like yours. Maybe something better.
February 28, 2025 at 7:22 PM
This scrum of pot-bellied, sunken-chested betas trying to bully an all-black clad badass Eastern European wasteland survivor while dressed like Men’s Wearhouse mannequins is peak cinema.
Just what you needed! Another Xmas Music Playlist! You’re welcome. open.spotify.com/playlist/0Q7...
Five Song Friday Xmas 2024
open.spotify.com
December 24, 2024 at 3:35 PM
Just what you needed! Another Xmas Music Playlist! You’re welcome. open.spotify.com/playlist/0Q7...
My name is Mr. Jingles and this is my story.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: A Tale of Elf-Preservation
Episode #138: Toilet Humor, Slap Happy Saps and Unstoppable Rock
open.substack.com
December 17, 2024 at 4:28 AM
My name is Mr. Jingles and this is my story.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
We should have seen this coming. Dude was always talking about how much he loved to commute…. apnews.com/article/bide...
Biden commutes roughly 1,500 sentences and pardons 39 people in biggest single-day act of clemency
The president is also pardoning 39 Americans convicted of nonviolent crimes. The move follows a pardon for his son Hunter, who was prosecuted for gun and tax crimes.
apnews.com
December 12, 2024 at 3:08 PM
We should have seen this coming. Dude was always talking about how much he loved to commute…. apnews.com/article/bide...
When a man and woman love each other very much, they exchange gifts… open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Clear and Present Danger
Episode #137: Kung-Fu Chickens, Jiggle Masters and Buck Wild Babes
open.substack.com
December 6, 2024 at 11:55 PM
When a man and woman love each other very much, they exchange gifts… open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
I have a few words for the dingus who came up with the term “Yacht Rock.”
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Some Like It Yacht
This Week: Euro-Pop Chicken Fights, Aussie Punks and Fun With Fonts
open.substack.com
December 1, 2024 at 2:08 PM
I have a few words for the dingus who came up with the term “Yacht Rock.”
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Save this for tomorrow … open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: About Last Night
This Week: Cigarettes, Air Guitar and Sugar Pop
open.substack.com
November 28, 2024 at 6:46 PM
Save this for tomorrow … open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
I wish to thank the Universe for the things it has bestowed upon me.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Thank You for Everything
Episode #135: Phone Scams, Rabbit Holes and Hand Clap Kryptonite
open.substack.com
November 22, 2024 at 10:16 PM
I wish to thank the Universe for the things it has bestowed upon me.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Guys, we’ve made a terrible mistake.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Orange Crushed
Episode #133: F-Bombs, Rollercoaster Nausea and Heavy Eyelids
open.substack.com
November 22, 2024 at 5:00 AM
Guys, we’ve made a terrible mistake.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
I literally don’t understand what young people are saying anymore.
And I’m not alone.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
And I’m not alone.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
Five Song Friday: Slang Mentality
Episode #134: Little Horses, Lotion Baskets and Tight Bike Pants
open.substack.com
November 16, 2024 at 4:24 AM
I literally don’t understand what young people are saying anymore.
And I’m not alone.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...
And I’m not alone.
open.substack.com/pub/humes/p/...