imagining my life being kind wry lit asshole everyone flocked to in 2010, but also imagining a bunch of 30-40yo dudes following a rando bc they thought they were gonna get mid-atlantic burns but instead it's a shmoe doing their thing but you never unfollowed them. Imagining a lot of things really.

Big same but they are also a good poster!

No judgment. I mean I had a kid sibling too so they weren't DONE lol

Not Going Out is the flipside of "one day your parents out you down and never picked you up again" which is bitterweet but I also imagine my folks were absolutely done fucking hefting me and I try to apply that to not blowing my paycheck on booze and ephemera

this dude's argument+acount age really leaning into @brendelbored.bsky.social theory about everyone who actually posts being 35, in philly and pretend they never watched MST3K or something

"What if Forrest Gump was just dumb enough to be wrong about everything instead"

I think I mean this as a compliment but TF is the most Candide motherfucker out there, just too stupid to enjoy it

"I was in a taxi in Lahore thinking about the way Bill Burr would say "prostitutes" if he were french when my driver pulled me into an alley"

BE ABOUT THOM BE ABOUT THOM BE ABOUT THOM

Oh I was following the cardinal social media rule of "respond to the question you wished you were asked" my bad

You too Star Trek

I'm also not gonna knock Knopfler too hard; imagine not having a radio hit in a bazillion years but a global tour nonetheless and cancelling your Russia dates over human rights. It's not exactly a march in Selma but we saw a bunch of clowns clam up for Suadi money recently

I'd imagine the Dire Straights guy would be okay with this; he was cool with Weird Al removing "faggot" from his song as long as he let him play guitar.

Gob on my knob
Like corn on the Kopf
Pommel it means
Now swallow my genes

Handsome Boy Modeling School