What if the real reason it’s sooo much work and maintenance just to be mid is because I’m actually meant to be a hardcore uggo? And I’m denying my rightful place in the monsterverse?
May 8, 2025 at 10:42 AM
What if the real reason it’s sooo much work and maintenance just to be mid is because I’m actually meant to be a hardcore uggo? And I’m denying my rightful place in the monsterverse?
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
“I am directing the Bureau of Prisons to use all 850 Joann locations to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social
theonion.com/trump-v...
theonion.com/trump-v...
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison
WASHINGTON—Vowing to restore and revitalize the facilities as a symbol of law, order, and justice, President Donald Trump ordered the U.S. government Monday to reopen Joann Fabrics and Crafts stores as federal prisons. “I am directing the Bureau of Prisons to use all 850 Joann locations to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump wrote […]
theonion.com
May 6, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“I am directing the Bureau of Prisons to use all 850 Joann locations to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social
theonion.com/trump-v...
theonion.com/trump-v...
I’ve started running videos of birds playing and singing in the background of my household activities, to soothe my nervous system, and it turns out the cats like it as well. Though it seems to affect them by stimulating them instead. Good thing they’re sensory seeking!
May 7, 2025 at 1:33 PM
I’ve started running videos of birds playing and singing in the background of my household activities, to soothe my nervous system, and it turns out the cats like it as well. Though it seems to affect them by stimulating them instead. Good thing they’re sensory seeking!
I stabbed my finger with a utility knife and I totally knew it was going to happen and now I’m mad at myself and my finger hurts and it’s 11:24pm AMA
March 8, 2025 at 4:24 AM
I stabbed my finger with a utility knife and I totally knew it was going to happen and now I’m mad at myself and my finger hurts and it’s 11:24pm AMA
Are you allowed to touch elf on the shelf if it dies in your room?
March 5, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Are you allowed to touch elf on the shelf if it dies in your room?
I just finished watching a long video of somebody draining a cyst and immediately followed with a vid of someone putting lady gaga makeup on a potato and it’s 1:17 so I should go to sleep
February 26, 2025 at 6:19 AM
I just finished watching a long video of somebody draining a cyst and immediately followed with a vid of someone putting lady gaga makeup on a potato and it’s 1:17 so I should go to sleep
I feel like if I ever got tattoos they would just be a mess of random inside jokes with myself and not at all a cohesive collection
February 15, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I feel like if I ever got tattoos they would just be a mess of random inside jokes with myself and not at all a cohesive collection
It’s 1:45am and a lady neighbor is elegantly skating on the road in her sneakers. Little run and twirly twirl and foot out and glide. I guess it’s pretty icy out there.
February 10, 2025 at 6:48 AM
It’s 1:45am and a lady neighbor is elegantly skating on the road in her sneakers. Little run and twirly twirl and foot out and glide. I guess it’s pretty icy out there.
A dear friend of mine had a small, intimate Hobbit party of foods and cozy conversation. I came late (I was parenting) and a person I’d never met told me my outfit was “very hobbitty”
and, guys, it was just my regular clothes
and, guys, it was just my regular clothes
February 9, 2025 at 3:09 AM
A dear friend of mine had a small, intimate Hobbit party of foods and cozy conversation. I came late (I was parenting) and a person I’d never met told me my outfit was “very hobbitty”
and, guys, it was just my regular clothes
and, guys, it was just my regular clothes
@cheshireadams.bsky.social
I saw this car’s license plate and thought of you this morning
I saw this car’s license plate and thought of you this morning
February 3, 2025 at 11:51 PM
@cheshireadams.bsky.social
I saw this car’s license plate and thought of you this morning
I saw this car’s license plate and thought of you this morning
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
if you’re looking for a sign to cut your own bangs, this is it ♥️
August 18, 2024 at 9:37 PM
if you’re looking for a sign to cut your own bangs, this is it ♥️
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years
LANGLEY, VA—A report released Tuesday by the CIA’s Office of the Inspector General revealed that the CIA has mistakenly obscured hundreds of thousands of pages of critical intelligence information wit...
theonion.com
January 23, 2025 at 11:57 PM
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
Costco’s shareholders voted overwhelmingly to reject a proposal from a conservative think tank aimed at getting the company to roll back its diversity hiring practices.
Costco's shareholders overwhelmingly reject anti-DEI proposal
Costco's shareholders voted overwhelmingly to reject a motion that would seek report on the risks of diversity, equity and inclusion in the company's hiring practices.
www.npr.org
January 24, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Costco’s shareholders voted overwhelmingly to reject a proposal from a conservative think tank aimed at getting the company to roll back its diversity hiring practices.
I told the kids it was time to go to school and Charlie, age 8, said, “shut up, man — is this really happening?!”
January 23, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I told the kids it was time to go to school and Charlie, age 8, said, “shut up, man — is this really happening?!”
Holy shit this is so cool
January 23, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Holy shit this is so cool
To me this song sounds like vampires trying to convince a lonely person to stay with promises of love
open.spotify.com/track/5v7YOa...
open.spotify.com/track/5v7YOa...
The Onliest Thing
Family Fodder · Just Love Songs (Remastered) · Song · 2010
open.spotify.com
January 23, 2025 at 1:22 PM
To me this song sounds like vampires trying to convince a lonely person to stay with promises of love
open.spotify.com/track/5v7YOa...
open.spotify.com/track/5v7YOa...
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
Sometimes good guys don’t wear white
December 20, 2024 at 7:43 PM
Sometimes good guys don’t wear white
Reposted by Lauren Pekoe
Earth Explodes
theonion.com/earth-e...
theonion.com/earth-e...
January 20, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Earth Explodes
theonion.com/earth-e...
theonion.com/earth-e...
My college bro neighbors have “trump 2025” in individual letter signs in their yard and I keep wanting to make my own sign that says something like “if you go home with a guy and see his yard decorated to worship a rapist, are you safe?”
January 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM
My college bro neighbors have “trump 2025” in individual letter signs in their yard and I keep wanting to make my own sign that says something like “if you go home with a guy and see his yard decorated to worship a rapist, are you safe?”
I shoveled my walk and drive and cleared off my car and then feeling generous so I shoveled the walk of my elderly immigrant neighbor and I felt mean when my trump sign neighbor drove by because I am not going to be shoveling fucking anything for them but I will spit my gum in their yard every day
January 11, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I shoveled my walk and drive and cleared off my car and then feeling generous so I shoveled the walk of my elderly immigrant neighbor and I felt mean when my trump sign neighbor drove by because I am not going to be shoveling fucking anything for them but I will spit my gum in their yard every day
I’m baking my third banana bread of the day. Stop falling in love with me
January 8, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I’m baking my third banana bread of the day. Stop falling in love with me