I once went to a pub in london that had a meat pie flight. 4 little meat pies paired with 4 small beers. can't in a million years make me think that's bad

I don’t want to see the bills in any other helmet for the rest of my life

His motto was “if it feels good,do it”

gonna let “hnnggg” rattle around in the ol psyche for a bit until it emerges as a thing I just say

I once auditioned for an indie film and the dialogue was just like that and I thought it was so weird. Until I met the director/writer and he used my name 6 times in like 40 seconds.

I used to work in a call center and one time someone called in and her name was Karen Porn and I tried so hard not to laugh but failed.

wait this was all done with pasta?!

you should be allowed to skateboard on its tail