People close to me would judge me.
People that wouldnt judge me arent that close to me.
And the friends close to me that wouldnt judge me... I just dont want to tell. because I really dislike beeing seen as the person I really am. dislike or more like being scared of.
So responsability lies upon me

And I dont feel I have the strenght in me to do that by myself. so most probably I will be living the same miserable life I always have. unless I get a stroke of good luck but... I have already wasted that chance

My problem rn is that I cant trust my thoughts on anybody. not even the ones I love

The more time I waste, the more I regret, and the worse is the pain
If I cant find a solution to how Im feeling I really dont know what I'll do
I have thought of something but it is impossible to do in the near 7 years at best.
and I feel I cant go on like this for 2 months more. let alone 7 years