Tightass Androgynous
@owltits.bsky.social
She/They
Always in a "phase"
Twitter was like my diary, so if you know me IRL I apologize lol
Always in a "phase"
Twitter was like my diary, so if you know me IRL I apologize lol
Pinned
Tightass Androgynous
@owltits.bsky.social
· Nov 19
A warning to people I know IRL:
There are already more of you here than I allowed on Twitter, so please be warned that I am much more crass and much more unfiltered about my personal/dating/sex life on a platform like this than on Facebook or Instagram.
There are already more of you here than I allowed on Twitter, so please be warned that I am much more crass and much more unfiltered about my personal/dating/sex life on a platform like this than on Facebook or Instagram.
My day job has gotten so bad that I was able to justify applying for a job where the in-office days would have me driving 2.5 hours each way.
December 15, 2025 at 6:59 PM
My day job has gotten so bad that I was able to justify applying for a job where the in-office days would have me driving 2.5 hours each way.
I can't believe my third most listened to song is about a football player's dick.
December 4, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I can't believe my third most listened to song is about a football player's dick.
Since my ex and I split, I have now had several women approach me with stories of him making women uncomfortable, sometimes even publicly shaming them because they won't go out with him (the word "manifesto" was used), describing him as a dangerous narcissist.
November 12, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Since my ex and I split, I have now had several women approach me with stories of him making women uncomfortable, sometimes even publicly shaming them because they won't go out with him (the word "manifesto" was used), describing him as a dangerous narcissist.
I got out of my comfort zone last night and auditioned with a theater company I never have before. They do immediate callbacks, and I was called back! So now I'm just waiting to hear if I got picked or not.
November 5, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I got out of my comfort zone last night and auditioned with a theater company I never have before. They do immediate callbacks, and I was called back! So now I'm just waiting to hear if I got picked or not.
My room became a bad depression nest earlier this year (gee, I wonder why) and never recovered. Tonight I am starting the work to change that. There's something humbling about a corner you dreaded taking literally 5 minutes to clear.
November 1, 2025 at 11:34 PM
My room became a bad depression nest earlier this year (gee, I wonder why) and never recovered. Tonight I am starting the work to change that. There's something humbling about a corner you dreaded taking literally 5 minutes to clear.
Your business shouldn't be allowed to have "midnight" in the name if you close at/before 10pm every night.
November 1, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Your business shouldn't be allowed to have "midnight" in the name if you close at/before 10pm every night.
Having a crush feels so fucking stupid, like, I'm 34 this is embarrassing.
October 8, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Having a crush feels so fucking stupid, like, I'm 34 this is embarrassing.
Apparently I give off the vibe of someone who is a safe person to talk about abortion to without having to explicitly say that I am. Neat!
October 4, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Apparently I give off the vibe of someone who is a safe person to talk about abortion to without having to explicitly say that I am. Neat!
Sense memory and grief are weird. I just used a spray deodorant I hadn't used in a while and suddenly it's the end of May and I'm getting ready to leave my dad's house and go to his hospital room for the day.
(I'm good, it was just a weird moment)
(I'm good, it was just a weird moment)
September 30, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Sense memory and grief are weird. I just used a spray deodorant I hadn't used in a while and suddenly it's the end of May and I'm getting ready to leave my dad's house and go to his hospital room for the day.
(I'm good, it was just a weird moment)
(I'm good, it was just a weird moment)
High at a Tigers game. It's what dad would have wanted!
September 7, 2025 at 5:54 PM
High at a Tigers game. It's what dad would have wanted!
Reading "The Jesus Incident" out of Herbert and Ransom's "The Pandora Incident" for the first time and this makes me think of "Game Shows Touch Our Lives" by @themountaingoats.bsky.social :
August 31, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Reading "The Jesus Incident" out of Herbert and Ransom's "The Pandora Incident" for the first time and this makes me think of "Game Shows Touch Our Lives" by @themountaingoats.bsky.social :
Thanks to Dead Dad Money (and a referral from a friend), I spoke to a mortgage broker for the first time yesterday and we're working on a plan to get me a house in under a year.
August 8, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Thanks to Dead Dad Money (and a referral from a friend), I spoke to a mortgage broker for the first time yesterday and we're working on a plan to get me a house in under a year.
Awkwardly, the last KOTH episode seems to be fully a reference to an online debate that Scary Toilet Guy I dated early this year went viral on Twitter for taking part in.
August 7, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Awkwardly, the last KOTH episode seems to be fully a reference to an online debate that Scary Toilet Guy I dated early this year went viral on Twitter for taking part in.
Turns out I'm only Type A when I travel
July 16, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Turns out I'm only Type A when I travel
Today in "Weird Things I Never Thought About":
I had to get liquor liability insurance for my dad's Celebration of Life party.
I had to get liquor liability insurance for my dad's Celebration of Life party.
July 7, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Today in "Weird Things I Never Thought About":
I had to get liquor liability insurance for my dad's Celebration of Life party.
I had to get liquor liability insurance for my dad's Celebration of Life party.
Did I turn a paper due at 6am in at 5:23am?
Yes.
Have I known about and had the instructions for this paper since May 12th?
Also yes.
But hey, I got it done!
Yes.
Have I known about and had the instructions for this paper since May 12th?
Also yes.
But hey, I got it done!
June 29, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Did I turn a paper due at 6am in at 5:23am?
Yes.
Have I known about and had the instructions for this paper since May 12th?
Also yes.
But hey, I got it done!
Yes.
Have I known about and had the instructions for this paper since May 12th?
Also yes.
But hey, I got it done!
My extra day off got approved which means I can take the train to New York next month! 🎉
June 25, 2025 at 2:03 PM
My extra day off got approved which means I can take the train to New York next month! 🎉
If you don't want people wearing leather and pup hoods at Pride because that's clothing they might have sex in behind closed doors, boy wait until you hear about half the modest sundresses I own.
June 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
If you don't want people wearing leather and pup hoods at Pride because that's clothing they might have sex in behind closed doors, boy wait until you hear about half the modest sundresses I own.
Today is my first day back to work and I'm really grateful to my team for holding down my inbox for the whole month I was away. I came back to no emails that needed addressed, and tasks in one system already complete for the week.
June 23, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Today is my first day back to work and I'm really grateful to my team for holding down my inbox for the whole month I was away. I came back to no emails that needed addressed, and tasks in one system already complete for the week.
Lol today was supposed to be my wedding day. I was supposed to say "I Do" 12 minutes ago.
a woman in a red shirt is standing in front of a group of people and says dodged that bullet
ALT: a woman in a red shirt is standing in front of a group of people and says dodged that bullet
media.tenor.com
June 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Lol today was supposed to be my wedding day. I was supposed to say "I Do" 12 minutes ago.
I stopped talking to someone once because after I made a post about some stuff I was (rightfully!upset with my mom for, she told me I should be grateful to have a mother at all because hers was dead, and I'll understand when I have a dead parent.
June 18, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I stopped talking to someone once because after I made a post about some stuff I was (rightfully!upset with my mom for, she told me I should be grateful to have a mother at all because hers was dead, and I'll understand when I have a dead parent.
Reposted by Tightass Androgynous
Jelly roll makes music for people who say stuff like He’s my Joker I’m his Harley
June 12, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Jelly roll makes music for people who say stuff like He’s my Joker I’m his Harley
Today's anthropology class reading:
June 9, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Today's anthropology class reading:
Reposted by Tightass Androgynous
Sir, a second band is on the run.
June 8, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Sir, a second band is on the run.